Live. Love. Forget.

Niall Horan has a pretty intense life. He feels responsible for the death of someone so close to him, and there was nothing he could do. What happens when Niall has to learn to move on with life, and forget about the past? Will he learn how to live? Will he be able to love again? And last but not least, is it even remotely possible to forget? (BoyxBoy in future chapters, there will be swearing/drinking/ect you have been warned.)


3. There's Hope

I walked up to the doors, of the massive building in front of me, stumbling on my way to the 5th floor, finally I made it. I walked up to the last door on the left, and hesitated whether or not to knock. My fists clenched up, and tapped on the door 3 times, a few seconds later, a girl who must have been about 27 opened the door. 

"You must be Niall!" She brought my body up against hers and hugged me, I looked around the room to see about 7 boys sitting in a circle. My hands feel to my sides, and I pulled off of her. "I'm Jessica, Mrs. Gingers daughter! She had told me you would be joining us tonight!" My feet made their way to the circle, and I pulled a chair in. All of the guys were looking at me, as if I was a target. Maybe that's what I was to them. 

"Niall, how about you tell us a little a bit about yourself?" I shook my head no, and rested my head in my hands, cradling it. "Ok, maybe within the hour." It wasn't exactly a question, so I just nodded. "Harry, how about you go. How was your week?" I looked up around the circle, looking at each individual. The boy with curly hair, and green emerald eyes, shifted his gaze to me, scoffed and looked back at Jessica. 

"It was fabulous! What kind of kid doesn't love having a mansion to himself? It's like I live on my own, and I don't even have to work. Its the life." His smile reached his eyes, and sent a wink towards the darker haired boy, who was styling a quiff, and a letterman's jacket. Letterman jacket boy laughed, and winked back. Jessica on the other hand, didn't seem too impressed. 

"How long have they been gone this time Harry?" He shrugged, and his smile faded from his face.

"About a couple weeks, mom comes back tonight, but she has to leave again tomorrow, and dad is in America until the end of next month." Jessica wrote something on her notepad, and looked into his eyes almost as if she was looking into someone's soul.

"When was the last time you got angry?" He sent a glare over my way, and I winced. What did I do? I looked to my left and noticed that a softer looking boy was more scared then I was. His face away from Harry completely.

"Yesterday afternoon. Some fag tried talking to me in the hallway in front of my girlfriend." Her glance turned the kid next to me, and back to Harry.

"And what did you do to calm yourself?" At this, Harry just got even more angry. His hands clenched up into fists, and he was squeezing into his hands so tight, He cold pop a vein.

"I didn't. I punched him in the arm, and kicked him once. I swear that's it though  I could have done so much worse!" Jessica's eyes widened, and she became furious.

"Harry Edward Styles! I cannot believe you hit Louis again! You know what the consequences are! I...I need to report this back to your counselor you know, this is the 5th time this month!" Harry punched the empty seat next to him, letting a few curse words slip through to the surface, and glared evilly at the kid next to me, who now I know is Louis. "Exercise time now, we can thank Harry here" everyone mumbled under their breaths, and as I watched everyone stand up, I slowly moved up from my chair. Were we going to do jumping jacks or something? "Niall, exercise time is where we do little skits almost, we work together. How about you team up with Liam and Louis, and I'll be over there in a minute to show you what you need to do." She pointed to Louis and Liam over in the corner, and I walked over to them slowly. They were attractive lads I guess, and I couldn't think what would be wrong with them. 

"Uhm, erm, Hi..I'm Niall..." Liam reached tugged me into his body for a hug, and I laughed a little, hugging him back. "Nice to meet you Niall, I'm Liam." He smiled wide, and shifted me to Louis. His eyes were a sea greenish blueish color. They melted in thin air, and became a very beautiful color. He smiled at me, and I could feel my cheeks burning from embarrassment. "Hi" He stuck his hand out for me to shake, and I shook it, repeating my hello. 

Louis was beautiful. Maybe the most beautiful man I had ever seen. The way his hair just flipped to the side, and the way his eyes literally melted into two colors. I was about to open my mouth, but Louis started to speak. "You're probably wondering why we're hated by the rest of them, huh?" I nodded slowly, and waited for an answer. "Well, I'm gay." He said it so openly. He didn't care that that was the reason why people hated him, he just nudged it off the side, and I could feel tension being slowly pulled away  from the 3 of us. Why were they so open, and just nice lads? "Does that bother you Irish?" I smiled at his playful banter, and nickname for me. "Not at all." I glanced my eyes up to him, and showed him my award wining smile. I had braces, but usually it just gave people the thought of me being innocent and childlike. Oh. How wrong those people are. "And what about you Liam?" He shrugged. "Louis' pretty fun. And the rest of the guys here are jerks. I just choose wisely who my friends are." Louis looked over at the other boys in the room, with a longing look in his eyes. He was so far out from here, and he didn't have his mind in the exercise we were supposed to be doing. 

"Uhm...I like to beat people because of the way I feel afterwards." We all looked in the direction of Zayn while we sat in the circle. It was part of this stupid exercise. "And how do you feel after Zayn?" Our eyes flashed back to Jessica as she spoke, and then to Zayn to hear his answer. "I don't know. Like I just emptied out my feelings. Accomplished. Proud. I can feel the adrenaline run through me." I shuttered in my chair. How could anyone feel proud after punching someone? I hated violence. It honestly never was the answer. "Okay, question time now. Go on, ask him stuff." Louis' hand flew up in the air, and Jessica gave him permission to speak. "Zayn, do you ever feel bad after?" Zayn had a disgusted look on his face, and I automatically felt my hand grip Louis' leg, and rub it soothingly. What was I doing? I let go, and brought my hands to my lap. "Never. They do something to piss me off, then they deserve the consequences. Next question." "So about Chris? You never once felt bad about that? Zayn, you put the poor kid in the hos-" Jessica put her hand on Zayn as the look on his face changed, and his shoulders were moving up and down. "Louis, I think that's enough. You're all free to go now. Zayn, Please stay back." I stood up the fastest, just wanting to leave, but Louis had other plans. 

"Hey Irish! Wait up!" I slowed down and looked behind me to see Louis and Liam running after me. "Do you need a ride?" Louis smiled down at me, and I felt the heat rush up to my cheeks. "Uhm, sure. Tanks." He chuckled and mocked me the whole way back to the car. "Tanks, tanks, tanks" Liam slapped his chest. "Shuddup Lou!" His laugh erupted from his chest, and he looked back over his shoulder at me. "I can't help it! It's so cute!" I smiled to myself, and hopped into the back seat. 

We drove around for a little while, and now we were parked outside my house. "Will we see you next week?" Louis called out to me as I was walking up to my door. I turned around and shrugged my shoulders. "Then maybe we should exchange numbers, yeah?" I tried my hardest not to blush. We exchanged numbers, and I smiled at the beautiful man Louis once more. "I'll see you around Irish." 

I walked up to my door, and had only one thought on my mind. 

I am defiantly going back next week. 

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