ORPHAN

YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE.

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1. ORPHAN

you were a trojan
as you slipped beneath the waves of my hair,
pressed kisses like arrows into my skin.
under my skin, you twisted around,
grew nails,
grew heartbeats that sustained me those long months.
grew elbows,
grew fingerprints that marked my body as yours.
grew teeth,
grew lips that kissed me upon your departure.

it was true
after all.

kisses do make things better
for a second.
for a second
i thought i would live.

to see you slip into your own skin;
slip into boyhood;
slip into a trojan -
so thoughtful -
and put your father to shame
so you wouldn't have to wonder
why i named you mozart
and left you alone
with sing-a-longs
that skipped a beat or two
trying to mimic
and mime
me and mine -
my heart did sing for you
even when it stopped stuttering
and held its most painful note.

not content to just subsist,
you began to exist.

and you were just like your father.
you got under my skin
made yourself known -
at home.
you borrowed my love;
ate it.
loved it.
wanted more.
and i gave you all, you little trojan.
i gave you all.

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