I'm on My Own

Krista lives a life only few people know about, living with her mom's abusive boyfriend after a bad fight she gets kicked out. Estranged from the only family she knows now Krista has no where to live. When she finds out the truth about her love Isaac she's all on her own. What do you go when the only person you have to rely on is yourself? "The only place where I feel safe now is in my dreams. Where only the people that can hurt me are only imaginary. And I can wake up at anytime and It'll all be over."

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2. Leave me Alone

I watch Isaac walk down the road sad because now I would now face my intervention about what we were doing while Nick and my mom were gone. I leave the window and then walk to my room trying not to face Nick and his awkward questions.

"Hey," Nick calls out right as I place my hand on my door knob. Fuck. 

"What?" I say annoyed, "Look I really don't want to talk right now," I say opening my bedroom door and slamming it behind me. I flop down on my bed and burry my face in my pillows. My bed is soft beneath my body. I hear Nicks foot steps travel down the hall way, and before I know it he's at my bedroom door, he only knocks once and lets himself in.

"I never said to come in," I say lifting my face off my pillows.

"And?" Nick pulls out my chair from my desk and sits down, "So how was your alone time with Isaac?" Nick says starting the interogation.

"Just dandy" I say annoyed.

"Doesn't sound like it was," Nick says I hear Nick get up and push my desk chair back in. He places his hand on my back. His hands are evil, and just his mere touch makes me flip over.

"Please don't touch me," I say sternly .

"Oh yeah sorry I forgot, that's Isaac's job," Nick spites back at me getting on my very last nerve. I get off my bed and grab him by his shoulders and try to turn him around to face my bedroom door. He turns around swiftly and looks at me with wild blue bloodshot eyes.

"Don't put your hands on me," Nick says fuming.

"Then get the fuck out of my room!" I scream at him pushing him anyways not giving a fuck what he's 'going' to do. He budges and moves slightly, enough for me to attempt at closing my bed room door. So that's what I do and he puts his hand in my door frame and and when I try to slam my door shut he screams "CUNT!"

His hand pushes my door open and he throws me on my bed. He then sits on top of me and slaps me across the face and I feel the sting in on my right cheek. "Fuck you!" I kick him off of me and he falls off my bed and holds his stomach.

"Get out," He says pushing all of my stuff off of my desk, "I want you out of here in ten minuets, I don't care where you go just leave."

"Nick you can't make her leave!" My mom says running into the hallway. I roll my eyes and pick up my black duffel bag and start shoving clothes from my closet into it. "Krista you're not going no where, you're staying right here." My mom say stopping me from putting more clothes into my bag.

I look at her with sad eyes wishing I could believe her. But knowing I couldn't. I could never forgive her again. Tears swell up in her eyes but he tears have no meaning, as her tears fall on to my hands which she's holding I still feel no sympathy for her. "It's either him or me. I refuse to live with him anymore," I say already knowing the answer to my own question. Nick was her world and he controlled everything in it. It was like he was her sun and without him she was nonexsistant. 

"I want both of you though!" She cried. Nick walked over to my mom and held her in his arms.

"I'm not going to make you pick between me and your daughter. I'll just leave," Nick says kissing her on her head.

"No, you can't go," she cried even harder this time. I shoved the last of my very well being in my well being into my duffel bag. 

"See you soon," I say walking past them out into the hallway. I hear my mom sobbing for me to stay  as I close the door. I walk off the front steps and when I get up new stop sign on my road i then take it upon myself to light a cigarette. The scent of mint and tabbacco fills the air which I swim in. The November air is chilled. The night is dark with only a full moon as my light source. My cell phone is dead so I can't make sure Isaac's mom is sleeping when I get there since it's the only place I can go. I'm sure she'll be sleeping though. Her meds probably knocked her out by now. Poor woman.

But that means that I have to walk through the Flanders trailer park alone. By myself. Oh well, I guess. I do have like five dollars in change on my though...I could call him at a pay phone at McDonald's where the bus stop is. But I'm not even close to McDonalds.

 

 

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Finally I see the bright yellow McDonald's sing glowing in the distance. To me this was my half way mark. I just needed to get to that phone booth and put in my twenty five cents. I almost wanted to sprint across to the bus stop but I held my composer. As I walk past the McDonald's it even makes me sad. All the fun memories I've had there with friends. All the laughs, and thrown french fries and ketchup stains; when at the time I was mad because my new shirt got ruined but now it just symbloizes another fun memory.

I'm finally at the phone booth and I fish 5o cents out of my pocket. I hold the phone to my ear and punch in his number. The phone rings, "Isaac please pick up!!" I say to myself, and I swear I jinx myself because he doesn't pick up. I put my other quarter in and redial his number and he doesn't pick up yet again. "FUCK!" I say as I throw the telephone at the plexi glass. I storm away from the telephone booth. I hope he's alright. I walk down the dark street where cars zoom past me, with everyone whoes riding in their cars probably think I'm a hooker or some shit. Whatever though, I'm just going to my boyfriends house.

Ten o'clock is crack hour on Rout 25A in Riverhead. It's where all the drug dealers meet up at street corners and have 'special deals' or what not. In fact there was one happening right now on Linden Street. Two men were standing there talking holding little baggies. I was close to them now. I looked down at the pavement and started to play that dumb little game that kids play in the hallway when they try not to step on the crack 'or they;ll break their mothers back' although at the moment I almost wish I could break my moms. Maybe she needs a good paralization, a nice crappy wheel chair to roll around in. I'm tempted to ask them if they know Nick (which they probably do) and the thought of those crack heads actually saying yes makes me laugh out loud just as I'm passing them.

"What did you say?" One of the guys asks. The sound of his raspy voice scares me.

"Oh nothing," I say shaking, " I was just laughing..." I say continuing to walk this time my eyes straight ahead of me.

"Hey, we never said you could go anywhere missy," A hand covers my mouth and I bite the guys hand.

"Fuck!" The guy calls out, when he lets me go I try to run away but I'm grabbed by the hood of my jacket.Shit I should've remembered there were two of them. He coils his arms around my waste and drags me into an alley way. They then push me against a big building. "You like to bite? We do too hunny," One of the men hissed.

"Get the fuck off of me," I scream. 

"Shut up or you die," They said together. Then my pants are ripped past my knees.

"Please stop," I cry, and then go the panties. They grab me by my neck and almost kill me. I feel my front side and back side brusing as they penetrate inside of me. My gift was gone. No longer was I a virgin anymore. I was saving it for someone special. Maybe even Isaac, but no instead God had a plan that I had to loose it this. I hope I don't get sent to hell for not saving myself for marriage. 

I couldn't take it any longer. What if they....you know...I didn't want to risk getting pregnant by crack head rapist. I spit in the guy who was in front of me in his face, and I kick myself free from the one in the back of me. I pulled up my pants and underwear and then grabbed my duffel bag. I run out of the alley way and as I get on the street I yell "Assholes!" And I keep running but not for very long because my cigarettes and asthma aren't exactly what you'd call 'good for me'.

But when I do stop I'm just at the entrance of his trailer park. I let out a deep sigh. I can't wait to see him so he can hold me and console me. I then start to cry, I make my lefts and rights when I sneek up behind his house to his back back window. His window although is covered with a sheet, still show the light coming from it. I knock softly. Within a couple of seconds he opens his window and pulls me inside his bedroom which is the usual comfy feeling it usually is whenever I come over. 

"No ok?" Isaac asks wiping my tears from my face. "What happened to you? You're all red around you neck," Isaac says concern filling his eyes.

"Not tonight Isaac please, can we just go to sleep?" I asks with cloudy eyes.

"Yeah but before we do that, I do love you," Isaac says holding my face. "Lets go to bed," Isaac says walking over to his bed. He pulls the blankets so I can lay down. He knows I like the spot by the wall. He turns out his light and gets into bed with me. 

We make love and its painful because my whole body is sore. But still it was sweet because it was slow but I cried during every second. I don't know which sex felt better though...sex with a stranger.Or sex with someone who says they love you but you don't know if they're telling the truth or not. You tell me.

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