Sarah's Dance


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3. Meet Jordan

It was at senior prom actually. I went with my guy dance partner Jordan, as friends. We had a really great time. Then when I went to the bathroom and saw a girl lying there wasted, I lost it. It was all too much like that one night. I woke up and was looking for Sarah. It was Saturday and we always practiced today, but when I got downstairs I saw my dad comforting my crying mom in his arms. I was so confused. I asked where Sarah was and my mom started sobbing even more. I didn't believe it at first, I refused to accept that Sarah was dead. I continued to do things normally, talking to myself when Sarah never responded. And as I got older I learned to accept what happened. Kids at school started taunting me, saying it was all my fault because I was a stupid and ugly little sister. I went home and cried when I was alone. I thought that maybe it was my fault. Maybe if I told Sarah more about how much I love her and how pretty she was, how great of a dancer she was and how great of and older sister she was. If I had said something about her scars and cuts, then. Then maybe she would still be alive right now. Through those times in Middle School I actually was beginning to think it WAS my fault Sarah died. I thought about cutting myself just like she did, but I made a promise to her. I told her I would keep dancing. I still remember how when I was little I begged her until she promised to make sure I was a beautiful ballerina. I made such a big deal out of dance then, I only realize now that even thought it doesn't seem like it. Dance is a even bigger deal for me now. It's like my sister, there to comfort me. Whenever I thought about pain, death, or suicide I danced. It was there to take all my emotion away and the only thing that made me happy. During my last year at Junior High, we got a new student. He later became my dance partner. He got bullied by everyone too. For being a guy dancer. But I thought he was amazing, a graceful dancer. He also just shrugged off the insults, as if he's gotten them all his life. He was both strong physically and mentally. We spent hours a day dancing together. From right after school to dark. I couldn't have asked for a better friend. He became the brother I never had. He was the one that brought down the walls that I had built up since my sister died. We made new friends from the dance center and made a hip hop club at school. We gained even more friends. Jordan was the best thing that ever happened to me.

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