Romeo & Juliet's "Undying Love"

Ehm ... What can i say about this? Well, I had a free English and the teacher told us to write an essay about Romeo & Juliet at Halloween, so I came up with the idea of doing a parody of Romeo & Juliet's love, on the basis that, whenever a couple get married, they immediately hate eachother. It's not brilliant, I will admit, but it makes me giggle so I hope it will provide you with 1 of your 5-a-day of laughter. Also, this contains a bit of bad language so excuse me in advance for that.


3. Marriage-Hatred



"Get out!" Juliet shouted.

"Hey! I'm just saying that sometimes its nice to have fresh food made by my loving wife." Romeo smiled, "And what do I get? You, and last week's 'burgers'." He shuddered at the thought.

"Get out of my house!" She screamed, throwing a vase at him.

"Oh! So now it's your house?" Romeo retorted, "Well, last time I checked, the mortgage repayments were coming out of my bank account!"

"How dare you?" Juliet screamed. "I should have listened to mummy and married Paris. He's so handsome." She swooned.

"Oh here we go!" Romeo sighed, "All the land in the city and you're still not happy!  You know what? Go! Run off to handsome Paris, Give him the ride of his life - like you do to so many other men - and just leave me to eat the rats in the basement! At least they would taste better than the shit you give me!"

"Oh! So I'm the horny one now?!" She roared, "Well, I wasn't gonna bring this up but I got a call from a prostitute saying that you didn't pay the full amount for last night's shenanigans. Care to tell me what the fuck that's all about?"

"Well," Romeo said calmly, "I have basic needs that you don't fulfil."

"Oh fuck you!" Juliet screeched

"Yeah, maybe if you did that more often, I wouldn't even need her!" Romeo shouted, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him, leaving Juliet, his "true-love" to tremble with rage.

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