Romeo & Juliet's "Undying Love"

Ehm ... What can i say about this? Well, I had a free English and the teacher told us to write an essay about Romeo & Juliet at Halloween, so I came up with the idea of doing a parody of Romeo & Juliet's love, on the basis that, whenever a couple get married, they immediately hate eachother. It's not brilliant, I will admit, but it makes me giggle so I hope it will provide you with 1 of your 5-a-day of laughter. Also, this contains a bit of bad language so excuse me in advance for that.


1. Meeting-Love

Romeo scanned the masked ball, looking for Rosaline, his bitch, when he saw the fittest bird he had ever laid eyes on, Juliet. He strolled over, trying to look non-chalant.

"Hey." he said coolly, "Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?" Juliet asked in her beautiful South Shields accent.

"When you fell from heaven." Romeo replied with a wink.

"Oh God" she cried, "My hair is a mess, isnt it?"

"No!" he reassured her, "I just meant that you have the look of an angel about you."

"Oh. Why thank you." Juliet said, giggling and fanning herself with her hand.

"Ok." Romeo replied, "Enough with the small talk, will you shift me?"

"Ok." Juliet responded eagerly, "That's the only reason I came to this party anyway. It's full of old fogeys."

"Lovely." Romeo said, as he lead her away into a distant corner, away from prying eyes.

When they reached the corner, he leaned in and kissed her, and she responded keenly, circling her tongue around his. They pulled away when they heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. They looked up to see the fierce face of Lord Montague.

Romeo gasped. "Dad!"

"What are you getting up to, bucko?" Montague asked. Romeo struggled to find a valid response and reluctantly settled with;

"A snake bit her on the face, and I had to suck the poison out."

"Seriously?" Juliet asked, "That's your excuse?"

"Don't lie to me." Montague said fiercely. Romeo gulped loudly. "Get stuck in there, son" Montague boomed, and sauntered off to brag of his son finally finding a girl who would settle for him.

*AUTHOR'S NOTE* When I say "shift" I dont mean "move". "To shift" is the irish way of saying "to snog"

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