Let me love you

A tale of one direction and the heart ache of a girl who lost everything, well thats what she thought


7. Falling

Nina's POV

Dear diary, I can't believe I'm going to say this but here it goes. I've been falling so hard for this blonde haired wacky boy and I can't stop myself, every time I talk to him I get deeper in the quicksand and he just keeps pulling me in. It makes me scared like if me showing affection to him might make me seem weak. I'm not weak I've never been weak and I'm not about to start being that. I'm not going to be the girl thats vulnerable and relies on their man for everything. I'm not going to tell him.

"Nina?" I hear the irish accent nearing closer to my bedroom door as I slam my diary close and hide it under my bed "in here Niall" I reply as if it wasn't obvious. "Oh sorry are you busy?" he asks curiously trying not to come to close, "Niall you can sit down" I say patting the spot on the bed beside me. I can't believe I said that but he looked just as surprised as I felt. "Umm ok" he says with a weak smile. "Whats up?" I ask shifting my position a little to accommodate room for Niall, "I was wondering if you wanted to go to the park for a picnic?" I smile and giggle a little bit "oh, your serious?" I immediately stop laughing "yeah" Niall says with a bit of disappointment "I'd love to" I say with the biggest grin on my face but not as big as Niall's. "Lets go then, if your ready" Niall says as he takes my arm and eagerly pulls me out the door

*****the park*****

"You really like your food, don't you." I laugh while Niall keeps stuffing his face as he nods. It wasn't meant to be like this I was meant to be avoiding how I feel for him, I let him in and now I'm not sure if I can push him away anymore. Its not because I'm worried about hurting him, its because I know its gonna hurt me. "close your eyes" Niall says, I reluctantly ask him why "trust me, close your eyes" I close my eyes slowly, then I feel his finger run across my bottom lip "Niall" I mumble "yeah?" He asks "what are you doing!" I ask him rather angry. I feel his touch fall away and I open my eyes to see what he is up to. "Why do you do this Nin's?" he asks starting to become aggravated "do what?" I ask slightly confused to his actions. "you pull away, I really like you and you ignore it. Is it me? You were so different when we met." Niall said the last part under his breath, as though he already knew he shouldn't of said that. "Its not you Niall, its never you. Your right I was different. But that was when I had something to live for, I had a Mum and someone that loved me and now its gone, that part of me is gone. Can I show you something? Your the only person I can trust right now." By now I'm full on crying and I really don't care, I need to let it out if I want to get through this. "Nin's" Niall said with sorrow and concern in his voice. "Just don't yell at me" I say as pulling up my left sleeve, I keep my eyes on Niall. I see his face flush with anger and then confusion but then finally he looks at me taking my hand. I nod to let him know its ok "Why?" is all Niall can get out "It made me feel good, it gave me a rush when I didn't feel the pain anymore. It made me forget for a few seconds that I'm lonely - or that I'm in love with you." I say the last part really quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear it "do you mean that? Because you don't have to be lonely anymore." I had only just realised that Niall had been crying the whole time as he ran his fingers over my scars from the hardest times in my life. He brought me into a hug and I uncontrollably cried into his neck. At this point I was so vulnerable, weak but it felt ok. I didn't need drugs, Niall is my drug he's all I need.

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