Things Change

I've never imagined my life before. When I was a little girl I always listened to the typical "I want to be famous", "I want to be a fireman", "I want to be a top model"... I had also said it, but never thinking about my future. I would have never imagined myself here, outside of my home country, without my parents around, and my friends off all life. I watched with a huge smile the room, without losing any detail. It was very cute. Beautiful, in fact. I looked out the window to see the view of York. The view I wanted to see for the rest of my life. I'm young and I know what I want. But some times, when you think everything is perfect, something bad happens and all your world start falling. Cause life is not planed, future is not certain, things change without advise.

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1. Start Over

 

Airports suck. I hate them. They are always full of people who don’t take their eyes off of me. I was saying goodbye for the last time to all my friends who had come to see me off. There was almost the entire course of the school, which I can not understand. I’ve never been very sociable, really. I don’t have many friends. Only three, Matt, Liz and Megan. The three most important people in my life. The three people who were present at all times. I was going to miss them very bad. I was leaving alone, away from everything I knew, ready to begin a new life. The flight was leaving in ten minutes and I was the only passenger missing. Finally, I said goodbye to everyone with a general salute and disappeared in the crowd. I started running, with high heels, I did what I could. I was to miss the flight. I hear someone voice saying "Last call for passenger on flight 101 to London: Moavro Alice."

I started running as fast as I could. When I reached the door I was greeted by a hostess kindly.

"Alice, that’s you, right?" A lady redhead with dark blue uniform asked me.

"Yes!"

"Good evening, my name is Natalia, if you need anything do just call me."

She told me where my seat was, although it was easily recognized, it was the only seat empty. Actually there were two, a couple of seats together. I sat in one and the other was free. But, who would sit with me? Someone else was missing?

I decided to relax my mind and don’t think more. I knew that when I got to my destination, everything would be different. I would not be with my friends, or my family, or be in the house where I was born, or sleep in the bed that suffered the reactions of all my dreams, or go to the same school with the same teachers who knew me since I was five. Nothing would be the same. My life was going to take a major turn. And I thought I was ready. I thought I had already internalized to start my life all over again. But I was afraid. I was afraid that something went wrong. I wanted to return and continue the same life I had led during my 16 years of life. But it was too late. I had to move on. Achieve my dream. Restart.

Then Natalia presented herself to the rest of the passengers and began to tell us the instructions I had already read in a paper that was on the seat. So I didn’t pay much attention, just watched the passengers who looked at her very carefully. All heads were going to the sweet lady. But I stopped at a person coming out of the bathroom. He closed the door gently so as not to interrupt the young hostess and started walking towards me. It was a guy, about ... I do not know, but less than 20, for sure. Tall, thin, with highly trained muscles, and the face of an angel. He was really cute. His hair was a bit disheveled but neat, bright clear eyes, dazzling teeth when he noticed me looking at him and smiled, slightly upturned nose and lips perfectly fine, well defined ... I decided to change the look direction. Within seconds I felt the presence of someone next to me.

"Hi, could you let me?" Said the same guy who had caught my attention earlier. He was talking to me "That's my seat."

"Yes, of course... Sorry."

"Mike" He told me smiling after sitting next to the window "it was impossible not to blush with that tone of voice.

"Alice" I returned the smile, a little bit shy.

He had a strong accent, weird. I liked it. I really loved it. I guess everyone should talk like that there. By thinking this, a wave of memories flashed through my mind. I would never set foot in Dallas, again. Not even Texas. Neither the United States. I would never feel that overwhelming heat of summer. But I was lucky. At least in one thing, I had lived in a big city. My parents had raised me in Dallas and I was moving to London. I would support it, I was used to, although I did not like it at all. In my soul all I kept repeating was start over, again and again ...

The handsome young man looked at me secretly from time to time, but not enough so that I wouldn’t notice. I just prayed that he would not start talking to me.

I was not a likable person to talk with, I had never been, actually. I was not used to carry forward a conversation. Almost nobody spoke to me in Dallas. I did not feel comfortable talking. I have always preferred to write.

There was an awkward silence which lasted quite a while. Well, uncomfortable for him, of course. Silence was my best mate, although what I chose was quite the opposite.

Sometimes one of the two interrupted it clarifying our voice or with a sneeze, but nothing else happened.

There were times when it seemed that he wanted to talk to me, but he did not dare. I didn’t want to expose myself to have to be nice to someone I did not know, while I was trying to form sentences that make sense. I needed to do something to distract me immediately. I remembered that I had stopped reading The Last Song in the car. So I took the book from my bag and started reading. He watched me carefully. Then he looked away toward the window and sighed. I looked at him askance. He looked tired. Better this way, he would not bother with his intimidating gaze.

The hours passed and I almost was finishing my book. Unfortunately, my eyes began to shed tears without noticing. This part of the story surprised me every time I read it. Mike had woken up thirty minutes ago and looked out the window. I joined him. It was night. The moon was beautiful. The moon, the same that I could see from Dallas, the same that my parents and friends see, the same that lights my old room. Suddenly, I found hope. Hope that everything works out, that I can move on. Hope that I can make my dreams come true.

    Natalia was passing through the seats with a cart to deliver the food. I wasn’t really hungry, but I had to eat something. I ran the risk of breaking down at the airport, and then more people than usual around me. No, just thinking about it terrified me, I had to eat. I did not want to think about that now.

"Good night! How is everything?" Natalia asked, with unnecessary enthusiasm.

"Of wonders! Thank you" replied in the same tone of voice.

"Very well, then, what do you want? Chicken and salad, or beef with rice?"

"Meat and rice, please" he said very confident.

"Ah, I prefer chicken..."

"Well, I hope you enjoy!

She gave us our plate and left with a final "bon appetit". And of course, I felt the same unbearable silence again.

I repeated in my mind: don’t talk to me, don’t talk to me, don’t talk to me...

And someone called him. His phone started ringing and he grabbed it, looked at it and pressed the green button.

"Sorry" he said before putting the phone to the ear ", Hello? ... Ah, yes! Hi, Aunt! How are you? ... Yes, I’m perfect. Ah, well, great. Yeah, I guess we'll be down in a while. If... no, auntie... right! I can not wait to return to York! I want to see them! Yeah, I know ... Well, see you, thanks for everything Aunt! Bye!" he ended the call and put the phone away, to talk to me then grinning "My aunt ... sorry."

"Oh, no! It's perfect!" I always got nervous when I had to pronounce words in my mouth.

He had already begun to talk to me and was going to follow. Unless I do something to stop him.

I started thinking as hard as I could and I realized that it might not be so bad to talk to him. Maybe he could be my friend. Yes I had to take the opportunity to start socializing. I could not be shy all my life.

But suddenly, I remembered his conversation with his aunt: "I can not wait to return to York!" He said. York, a city in the north of London, three hours away by car ...

I felt disappointed. All my hopes had escaped, running very fast and I could not reach them. They had brought with them, my shy smile that had begun forming on my face. They had taken the sparkle that lit my eyes, yet tired from reading.

For a moment, I had been happy to imagine coming to a new world, and even before I met it, have a friend. Maybe not a friend but a partner. No, not even that, just an acquaintance, that was enough. But, no. None of those things. He was not of my world, he lived in York. I would never be able to make new friends. It was not in my nature. I had nobody. Did not know anyone nor anything in this new world that I had to face.

I was alone. I had to be strong. Although this time, I had to endure. It was for my own good, for my future. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and was not going to give up. Although I was the only person in the world, I make it to the top. Simply because I am one of those people that if they propose something, don’t stop until have it, or until don’t want it any more. That's me. Supposedly insensitive the typical girl that goes unnoticed among worldwide. That girl that nobody appreciates, because she is not like the rest. That girl that when school ends goes home and, instead of doing homework, she lies down on the bed and cries, wondering why her life is so cruel, while on the outside she seems to be the last person on the planet suffering. That girl who hides her bad feelings, to avoid infecting others. I'm the kind of person that say little or nothing. Of those who, even if it seems that everything is the same for them, they really care about what other people think of them. Of those who, while their companions go to proms with thousands of guys, they stay in their room listening to music, dreaming impossible fantasies. Music. That was what I needed to clear my head of everything.

"Do you mind?" I asked the guy sitting next to me, pointing out the headphones.

"Oh, no! Not at all. I was going to do the same now..."

"Great" was the only thing that came to mind.

I started with the One Direction albums, my favorite British band. I heard several songs and then switched to Justin Bieber. Since childhood I had always loved him, he was my first crush. And no matter how much I love any other person or band, he would always be in my heart, as from the first moment.

Sometimes I passed the songs because they got me tired, I listened to them very often. I set my iPod to the library and started listening from there. If I did not like one, I changed it. But I generally loved all the songs from my precious machine that had been with me so many times. There was intercropped Pop, Rock, Rap, Coutrie, and even classical music.

I was surprised to find me like that. I didn’t care about anything what happened around me. I did not care to get carried away and start singing out loud to the rhythm of the song. I didn’t mind standing on the seat and dancing wildly, with the eyes of all the passengers on that plane fixed on me. Everything was the same. At that time, I first felt that I had a personality, hidden, but anyway was there. And I was ready to take it out, no matter what.

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