Sick and Tired

James Potter begins to realize his life isn't as perfect as he firstly thought of. Hogwarts' graduation grows closer, and a war waits for him outside of the gates. A tired enemy fuels the indecision and uncertainty James feels about where he's heading, and the destiny of many might be involved into James' brand new path.

Warning: this is a Snames fic, mature content.


9. Much needed help

“Oh my God, I was SO worried!” Lily exclaimed as soon as I walked inside the house. She was waiting for me at the entrance hall. “I thought you got caught by a Death Eater or something.”


Well, if I would be in danger or not depended largely on the Death Eater that caught me. But she couldn't know that. I didn't know why. If Snape wanted to bed her, it would help his case if he told her what he had done and how he saved the Longbottoms. Though I didn't want to help him with that, it was strange that I didn't have his permission to tell Lily a thing.


“I spent the whole night in Paddie's apartment. Safe. I just drank a little too much and fell asleep. He can confirm the story for you.” I replied.


“I don't think you are lying. Just don't want you to do that without telling me, because I get far too worried. It's dangerous for us out there, you know?”


“Yes, I know. Which was why I didn't leave anywhere.”


Lies, lies, lies. But I lied to Lily a thousand times before, now wasn't very different except I cheated on her, actually left the apartment with a strange man that, thinking back, could've been a Death Eater in disguise. A Death Eater in disguise wouldn't put his penis inside of me, I hoped.


“At least you did that.” she said, still a bit angry but letting go of her anger. “Well, let's have some breakfast. I didn't eat anything yet.”


The routine was killing me inside out.


“Let's have breakfast somewhere else. Let's have a picnic at a park or something. Or eat at a diner.” I suggested, knowing I couldn't sit down and carry a normal conversation with what happened last night replaying in my head.


Lily did accept the suggestion and we ended up at a diner. The seats were far too hard for my sore behind, though I tried to keep it cool. After our orders arrived, a full english breakfast, Lily asked:


Why did you suggest this, again?”


I don't know. Just felt like it.”


I just wanted to feel like I felt at first, with her. I was proud of myself, everything worked as I wanted. We had to be sneaky and she was my first girlfriend. It was a whole new world of experiences, and now it all fell flat. I still loved her, but... I don't know. It wasn't the same anymore. I always wanted adventures. And being at home in a stable relationship didn't fit the definition of adventure. Going out to have breakfast didn't, either, though at least broke the routine a little.


Lily smiled, unaware of the hidden implications of my actions.


I moved a little and felt something in my pocket, which I thought to be empty. I pulled out a note.


Come see me.


I knew exactly who that was.




My Lord, I did tell you my place is not on the front.” I said, as respectfully as I could. If I wanted to get more information about his plans, I needed to regain the Dark Lord's trust again.


I have... Noticed.” he replied, looking down on me, even though he was sitting on chair and I stood on my feet. “But, I will give you a chance to redeem yourself and prove you are worthy of remaining in my ranks, in other ways. I need a new spell, and I've heard you are qualified to do the task.”


I am, my Lord. What kind of spell do you have in mind?”


A ward spell. I need something to alert us about the arrival of threats without alerting anyone else. I haven't found such spell, and I'm afraid I lack the free time to create it. Seeing as you are indeed a brilliant young wizard without any battle skills and committed a fatal flaw that stopped us from eliminating the Longbottoms, you will have 72 hours to create the spell and bring it to me. Fully functional. You will make up for your mistake this way.”


72 hours. It was an awfully short time to create a spell as complex as the one the Dark Lord asked for, though it might be doable if I didn't close my eyes or stopped to eat.


And may I ask what for?”


The Dark Lord took a long while to answer, certainly measuring all the risks of trusting such information to a new, low-ranked Death Eater.


We must make yet another invasion, except... The person will be inside the house. We need information from him. He's rumoured to be a new member of the Order and nevertheless holds a position of influence at the Ministry. I need his position and everything he knows. And we shall have it, without depending on you to look for threats coming in our way, seeing as it looks like I can't trust you to do your job right. Be back in 72 hours with the spell, or don't even bother coming.”


I turned around and left the Malfoy Mansion. Once I reached my house, I climbed upstairs straight to the study room I made on my parents' bedroom. Frenetically, I looked through my old notes, from Hogwarts. I had some new spells drafted out in them, and some of them were wards. Perhaps I could use them to make the process quicker.


And unfortunately, on the mean time, I needed to get in touch with Potter. Find out who the new member was and maybe modify his memory before my deadline. I worked all night long on the spell with little progress, postponing the moment of facing Potter. I was hoping I would never have the need of talking to him again. Though I had to.


At the morning, I took a quick break and wrote a small note in a different calligraphy.


Come see me.


With a flick of my wand, I made it appear on the pocket of the pants he was wearing when he so pleasantly showed up at my door. Hopefully he wore that pair often enough that he would notice quickly. Or maybe even Lily would see it. I didn't plan on that, though if she caught the note she might have some wrong thoughts.


It would be fun for Potter to try and explain that.


Gladly or not, he read the note and knocked on my door three hours later. I barely saw the hours passing, too focused on my task at hand to register the time. It was about lunch time.


Potter, I have a couple of questions to ask you and I hope you can answer them truthfully. Rather, you must answer them.”


Please do it.” Potter replied, coming in and sitting in my armchair without asking.


I didn't say a thing about it. I would, though, set the armchair on fire and throw it away after Potter's departure.


Which new member of the Order holds a good position at the Ministry?” I asked.


There's John. John Marshall. He works at something about the Floo Network at the ministry. Can't say I got to know him.”


I need his address.”


What for?”


I ask the questions here, not you.” I snapped, running low on patience and time.


But I only give answers if I get answers.”


You need answers more than me. The Dark Lord is after him. He has 72 hours before forcefully leaking information about the Order. As such, I need to know where he lives to modify his memory before that happens. Happy?”


How do you even know he has 72 hours?”


I clenched my fists. What was I thinking when I decided to share my life with Potter? He was getting far too comfortable. Though I knew I needed his help. If the Order was gone, so would be Lily. I couldn't handle that. I couldn't handle the fact he was sitting on my armchair either, but I would have to find a way around that.


Because I have a task to complete before that time. And it has something to do with the attack at John Marshall, so I'm merely speculating he has until then.”


Which task?”


I clenched my fists harder.


I need to make a spell. Now, that's enough for today. You have to find his address and bring it to me before the time is over. Got it? We are done here.”


He stood up and suggested: “Well, if you need hel-”


Go away and bring me his address. Now. That's the help I need.”


If 72 hours was barely enough to make the spell, let alone make it and invade Marshall's home and modify his memory. I didn't need Potter slowing me down.

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