Sick and Tired

James Potter begins to realize his life isn't as perfect as he firstly thought of. Hogwarts' graduation grows closer, and a war waits for him outside of the gates. A tired enemy fuels the indecision and uncertainty James feels about where he's heading, and the destiny of many might be involved into James' brand new path.

Warning: this is a Snames fic, mature content.


6. Getting in touch

“I do, in fact, have a plan.” he said. These words were not supposed to give me as much relief as they did. “But we'll need your invisibility cloak.”


“How do yo-”


“I can put two plus two together.” he cut me off with a scowl. “Now, will you please? I can help you knock down the Death Eaters, but I must not be seen.”


“That's ridiculous. Why don't you just join the Order already?”


“Because I have no other choice anymore. I was already branded. And once I'm branded, I cannot get away. Not openly, at least.”


His honesty shocked me. I suppose I was the only person he could trust, at this point. By being his enemy, I knew everything about him. Which was why I didn't hesitate to hand him my cloak. I wished I had the time to process how much the tables have turned in the last few seconds, but there was no time. The “battle” would be over soon, and there were three Death Eaters to get rid of.


Though he hesitated to put on the cloak.


“No need to worry about being seen.” he whispered from under it. “I was the one supposed to patrol the surrounding area against someone who might have discovered the real plan.”


“Good.” I muttered and started walking – almost running – to the Longbottom's house. But, getting there, I realized that maybe going inside through the front wouldn't be a nice idea. I knew they had a kitchen, with a door to a back alley. The kitchen was connected to the living room.


If the Death Eaters were waiting in the living room to kill everyone on a surprise attack, they would be the ones being surprised by someone coming from behind. I couldn't see Snape, but knew he was following me. Having him at my back made me somewhat safer; I knew just how powerful he was. I should be glad he never truly intended to hurt me, or eles I'd be cold under seven feet of dirt.


I magically undid the wards on the back door, hoping to sneak inside, but no such luck. Someone was guarding the door already, and shot a spell at me. I got inside the house anyway, and all the cutlery and plates from the kitchen attacked the Death Eater on a murderous rage. Not even the shield he casted could protect him: the plates knocked him unconscious and the knifes pinned him to the walls.


The other two Death Eaters came rushing.


There was a soft whisper in my ear: “I know a spell to knock them down. Create a distraction and I take care of the rest.”


I nodded minutely and in a split of second, casted all kinds of distracting spells: high pitched sounds and colored smoke filled the room. Even with all the noise, I heard two loud thuds after just a couple of seconds, and all the smoke and the sound dissipated.


Snape undressed the cloak and threw it at me.


“What do I do now?” I asked, unable to put my thoughts together.


“It's better to keep them alive for interrogation. They are knocked down but should wake up soon. Tie them up before it happens, yes?”


We heard the front door opening.


Snape muttered under his breath: “Just in time.” Then he turned to me. “Don't mess it up.” he hissed and left.


Right after, Lily showed up, with the rest of the Order behind her.


“James, oh my God. What happened?”


“Well, I figured there was something weird about it all and decided to check the house.” I explained in my best cocky way. “Found those three. I let them live, though. They might useful for interrogation.”


Lily grinned and ran to hug me.


“I was só só worried when we didn't find you there...”


I held her tight.


“It's alright.”


My mind was elsewhere, though. Snape. I supposed this night was a proof he was on our side, but I didn't know for sure. I needed to talk to him again. Ask him a few questions.


The night went too slow for my taste. Everyone was praising me and I was the center of the attention. I should feel good, but I didn't. I did have the sharpness to realize something was off, but everything that happened was thanks to Snape. The three Death Eaters did have some juicy information to give to the Order, though it wasn't much.


When Lily and I finally got back at home, the sun was already up. She went straight to bed, but I couldn't sleep. Because I needed to talk to Snape – who would have thought – and I had no idea when we would bump into each other again.


Well, he had a house, didn't he? I could pay him a visit, since I knew where he lived, more or less. Snape lived nearby Lily's old house... If anything, I could at least go and try to search for him.


And I did. Lily was fast asleep, completely drained from the battle, and she didn't hear me leaving. In a matter of seconds, I was already on her old neighborhood, roaming streets around her old house, that now belonged to a new family.


Another thing I knew is that he lived closer to the fabric I could see at distance. I was close, but not enough. The closer to the fabric, the poorer the houses were. Some of them were abandoned; the fabric was long closed and there was nothing for the people who lived there anymore.


Then I felt like an idiot. Maybe Snape moved. He certainly did. If his parents were still alive, he wouldn't want them to know what he was into. I heard he was a half-blood. At least his muggle parent wouldn't like to know about his hobbies.

It was useless. I had no way to contact him. That wasn't good.


But then...


I walked past a house whose windows were not blocked by pieces of wood. Through the dark grey curtains, it was possible to see there was light inside. Maybe the person who lived there would know something about the Snape family? I could Obliviate the person after to leave no traces behind.


I knocked on the door and who opened was no less than Snape himself. He pulled me in and closed the door behind me before I could even process what I saw.


He was wearing just an old black sweater, some old battered jeans and sneakers. I felt like I was invading his privacy, by being at his place and seeing him in his lounge clothes. And he made sure to let me know I was right: “What gave you the freedom to come here, Potter?”


“Well, I didn't know it was your house.” I said, looking around.


All the walls were covered in books. There was an armchair nearby the fireplace and that was it. The place was dark and very clean for a place with só many books.


“But you were looking for me.” Snape replied. “Why?”


“I... I couldn't rest until we discussed about what happened last night. Because I need to know where we stand. Where you stand, to be more precise.”


Snape pursed his lips. He knew this talk would have to happen sooner or later. He walked towards the armchair and sat down, with his movements far too stiff, like he was hurt on the ribcage. Then he conjured a very uncomfortable wooden chair and made a gesture towards it.


“Have a seat.”


“Are you hurt?” I blurted out while sitting down, noticing that he couldn't bend one knee.


I shouldn't care. I shouldn't. But I did.


“Well, let's say I failed my duty on keeping the back door safe.” he replied. “And there must be consequences for my errors.”


I was dumstruck for a while. He knew he would be tortured and helped me anyway.


“I-I'm sorry.” I stuttered. “Well, I came to ask if you are on our side. That's all I want to know. But I think I'm fairly certain of what the answer is, now.”


He glared at me.


“Don't you say.” he purred in the most ironical way.


I didn't back down in front of his hostility.


“Yes, I do say. Now, did you tell anything about the Order to Voldemort? There's a spy at the Order.”


“No. And I don't know who the spy is, either. After the failure of last night's mission, I can't say I'm on the highest ranks there is.”


After a moment of silence, he said: “I can't help you.”


“Will you try to find out who the spy is?”


“It's probably of the most well guarded secrets of Voldemort. Though I assure you I will try. I'll be in touch if I do find something. If that's all you wanted to know, feel free to leave.”


I stood up and looked down at Snape, far too troubled for my liking.


“Is there anything I can do to help?”


“Not really. Now go away.”


I did. But both Snape and I knew, it wasn't for long.

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