Messed Up Truths

Life never really turns out the way you expect it to. But when your 29, dumped, sacked and living with your parents...your just doomed.

Follow my story as I share with you the highs and lows of being a 29yr old girl going crazy...desperate not to reach the big...I can't even say it without shedding a tear (3 0)!!

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8. The pychiatrist

My First session with Dr Jenny McVeigh

                The room was very cosy, cream carpet, vanilla walls and a leather sofa! I seriously thought those rooms where just in movies. The room temperature was perfect, not too hot and not too cold, even sitting on the leather couch I didn’t get that initial tinge of coldness whizzing through my body.

                Dr McVeigh was petite, shoulder length blonde hair, dressed quite casually wearing black leggings with this multi coloured, eye menacing, jumper. I think she couldn’t have been any older than me, which made me feel awkward for some reason.

Jenny – “Please make yourself comfortable.” She smiled.

                I returned the smile forcefully.

Jenny – “So as you know this will be a introduction session. What I’d like to achieve is a better insight in to what you are thinking, your perspective on certain things. Once I’ve gained an understanding I’d like to delve in a little deeper, like the deep end of a pool.” She chuckled to herself,

“Do you get it, deep as in deep end of a swimming pool because they’re so deep.” Jenny continued to laugh by herself.

                I seriously missed that joke, was it even a joke?

“Ok, so why don’t we start with how you are feeling right now?”

Me – “I’m feeling fine at the moment...urm however I’ve been feeling a little these last few weeks.”

Jenny – “Oh I guess we need to pick you right back UP then.” She giggled.

                I really wanted to end the session there!

“Please go on, tell me more about this feeling down period.”

Me – “Sure I just feel a little out of my depth. Everyone around me has moved along with their lives so easily, maturing with each stage.”

Jenny – “So you think you’re immature”

Me – “No...No I don’t think I’m immature I just feel left behind. I had hoped to have settled down at this stage in my life, maybe had a child by now. Not having to struggle to find a job and be this freak. I’m lonely, depressed...I feel like this huge failure. I just wanted to do something, make something of myself; all I’m stuck with is nothing!

Jenny – “Would you like a mint?”

                I stared at her blankly, as she grabbed a glass bowl full of mints, dangling it in from me. I was utterly bemused. I took one, unwrapped it and placed it in my mouth.

Jenny – “These are my favourite mints, I find they really cheer me up when I’m feeling down.”

                Hmmm I don’t think a mint is going to solve my problems, but I didn’t want to upset the crazy women.

Jenny – “What makes you happy?”

Me – “My friends, travelling, a good book I guess.”

Jenny – “Travelling indeed, it really takes you out of your element, be someone else, be anyone. No one judges you, you’re free as a bird. I went travelling many years ago. I visited this little village called Bood Bay and they have this small saying “Hum deya sumper o ik.” It means live life as though today is your last.”

Me – “Sure, sounds fun.”

Jenny – “It was so much fun...I had the best time of my live, you should go visit it some time. The locals are so friendly and oh there was this....”

                This went on for ten minutes!

Me – “I’m so sorry to interrupt but I’m kinda paying by the hour, and please don’t think I’m being rude but I’d like to get back to me if I may.”

                No I don’t think I was being rude, I was paying £110 per hour for this crazy woman to talk about herself, I wasn’t sure who was getting the counselling here.

                The session pretty much remained pointless after start, there was really no need to go back again especially after the 20th time of hearing “Hum deya sumper o ik” which I think Jenny made up!

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