Messed Up Truths

Life never really turns out the way you expect it to. But when your 29, dumped, sacked and living with your parents...your just doomed.

Follow my story as I share with you the highs and lows of being a 29yr old girl going crazy...desperate not to reach the big...I can't even say it without shedding a tear (3 0)!!

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7. The embarrassing nana

The next day I arrived at Nana’s house 9am sharp, she answered the door topless,

“Sorry love I thought it was the washing machine man.” Nana muttered.

                Washing machine man. Seriously I don’t understand how she does it. Fortunately it wasn’t the washing machine guy because his heart would have stopped and we’d be stuck with both a dead washing machine and washing machine guy!

“Nana’s where’s Jana?”

“Gone to work love, she asked me to ask you to wait with me whilst the man fixes the machine.”

                Oh great! Jana had really put me in it this time, babysitting Nana was not an easy task especially when visitors came over. Nana tended to go even more loopy when others were present.

                Nana and I sat in the living room for an hour, we’d had a cup of tea, watched “Coronation Street” (I considered our lives to be weirder than those characters in the soap)Had a little natter but still no sign of the repair guy and nana remained topless! I needed her to cover up before he got here, or I’d have to lock her up in the living room. It was the same routine for the last goodness knows how many years. If someone would come over, we’d either pin nana down and wrestle with her to put a top on or lock her up in one of the rooms.

“Nana at least wrap a scarf around you please.”

“Dear in my home I do as I please.” She shrugged.          

                Just as I predicted the door bell rang and nana leapt up to answer it. I grabbed a red scarf and threw it over nana, as she walked, tying two strong knots at the back.

                Nana answered the door, “Hello lover.” She smiled.

                I intervened.

“Hello, sorry this is my nana,” I said rolling my eyes, “Let me direct you to the washing machine.”

                I gritted my teeth, as I walked to the conservatory, praying this would be a quick job, I couldn’t hold out for anymore drama.

“Lover what would you like to drink.” Nana asked the bulky man.

                The man glanced over at me, scrunching his eye, confused as to what was happening.

“Tea nana, he’ll have tea and so would I please.”

                That should keep her occupied for a short while. As soon as she vacated the conservatory, I had to update the poor guy.

“The thing is my nana calls every man lover, she doesn’t mean it in a sexual way, if anything I think she means to say lovely. Please take no offence to it. Oh and if she gets topless at any point again ignore it.”

“What!” He blurted out.

                The man looked as though he’d just seen a ghost.

“I’m just here to fix the washing machine; no one’s charged me for any extras.”

                I couldn’t figure if he was joking or whether he was dead serious. Luckily nana returned wearing gloves (to protect her hands) and scarf remained tightly wrapped around her chest, covering her modesty.

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