Messed Up Truths

Life never really turns out the way you expect it to. But when your 29, dumped, sacked and living with your parents...your just doomed.

Follow my story as I share with you the highs and lows of being a 29yr old girl going crazy...desperate not to reach the big...I can't even say it without shedding a tear (3 0)!!


3. The b1tch

I met up with Jana for a quick coffee, I happened to invite Kim too. Kim was also a school friend; we tended to invite her to our “PG rated” meetings only.

 You see Kim married Rick, this guy she met when she was fourteen. They were childhood sweethearts...they agreed with one another on everything, they never argued, never raised their voices to one another. It was rather bizarre and sickening at the same time! Rick is a very normal (boring) guy, apart from getting completely naked when going for a number two, he’s faultless.

Kim married Rick when they both were twenty three, she works as a solicitor and he’s a doctor. They live in this pretty cottage on the outskirts of London, with beautiful cream coloured carpet. Life for them couldn’t get any sweeter! They both decided they’d have children at the age of thirty, and with only months away from the big 3 0 I’m sure they’d be able to tick that box soon.

Do I sound jealous?

                Hmmm, well three years ago I had my palm read and the lady or “fortune teller” told me I’d be successful, engaged by 2012 and buy my own cottage! It’s October 2012, no ring on my finger, (does success count in being able to fill my mouth with an entire pack of large maltesers?)  And the only cottage I’ve come across is that belonging to Kim!

No I’m not jealous or remotely upset...wanting to lock myself in my room, black out the windows and hide from this horrible world, eating nothing chocolate, until I get fat and burst.

                Kim arrived fashionably late, striding in with her Chanel suit and her Chanel bag; I wanted to sink into my chair. Jana flashed her sympathetic smile at me, followed by a gentle pat on my knee. Kim made a lot of effort with her appearance, she had brunette hair, which she’d wash and straighten every morning (I found that to be a huge effort, I could go for a week without washing my hair or body for that matter) her figure always remained slim, she wasn’t particularly beautiful but her confidence oozed through, making something about her quite enticing.

“Sorry guy’s I’m late, so busy at the office.” She moaned, air kissing us.

“I’m surprised you got the day off.” Jana replied.

                Kim half heartedly smiled, “So what are we all talking about then?”

“Nothing just discussing Nisha’s 30th birthday.”

“Nisha...which one’s Nisha again?” Kim ignorantly asked.

“The one who just divorced her husband Niall, the guy who had that major breakdown blaming his marriage for all the things he missed out on in his life!”

                Niall was simply a rat bag, him and Nisha met at University, they married and then they were supposed to live happily ever after. Nisha always complained her marriage was boring, Niall did nothing but spend hours on his computer games. He had no desire to go on holidays, no desire to socialise, he just liked staying indoors and complaining about spending all day in the office and alone time on his days off.

                Well a year ago, suddenly Niall joins the gym and decides to get a divorce! It was difficult time for Nisha, they’d been together for nine years and out of nowhere he just ended it. We tried to be strong for her. It was horrible watching her going the different stages of a break up

Stage 1                 The Denial Stage (TDS). No matter how many times your partner tells you it’s over, you just don’t take them seriously. “It must just be a phase.” Or “He’ll sleep on it and realise he’s made a mistake.

Stage 2                 The Mourning Stage (TMS). After the initial shock the tears go into overdrive. You can’t breathe, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep and nothing makes sense anymore.

Stage 3                 The Begging Stage (TBS). You beg your partner to see sense, they’ve made a huge mistake. You remind them off all the good times you had, those romantic moments. You cry, you scream asking for one last chance but this just comes across as desperate.

Stage 4                                 The Drunken Dial Stage (TDDS). You drunkenly call, leave irrational voicemails, send angry texts.

Stage 5                                 The Stalk Stage (TSS). Or as I like to call it the “Facebook Stage” You scan through their entire wall, past history, new friends old friends...who was it that broke us up? Who are they dating now?

Stage 6                 The Restored Stage (TRS). Where you finally come to terms with the break up and simply move on.      

                On many occasions I’ve seriously tried to skip to stage 6 but no matter what you do or what you say, you always end up going through all 6 stages, when you’ve been dumped!

                The amount of times I had to hide Nisha’s phone when we’d all go out, it was crazy. However she really had a strong punch, which seriously hurt my feeble arms! I never hid her phone again.

                Kim seemed distracted today, rudely, constantly using her phone, there wasn’t any point of her even showing up.

“I think we should do a weekend away in Bath.” Jana shrieked.

“Maybe a spa weekend?” I added.

“Kim what do you think?”

                Kim tore herself away from her beloved phone, she wasn’t pleased to be interrupted.

“Urm I don’t know, I don’t even know Nisha that well, I didn’t even know she was divorced!”

                Typical Kim, self obsessed, why would she care about anyone else’s life, when hers was so perfect?

“How’s the job hunting?” Kim asked insolently.

                My face instantly dropped, was that some kind of dig at me? That was so off topic. I was feeling fragile since I lost my job; it wasn’t like I wasn’t looking. In fact I’d been on a few interviews, most of them turning out to be horrible experiences...but I continued searching.

                I was suffering from a midlife crisis. Effectively I was back to square one, I hadn’t moved on from the days when I was sixteen. Living in the same home, with the same old parents, no boyfriend, no kids, no job but I think one thing had certainly changed, I had lost hope.

                I went home that night reeling from Kim’s attitude, Jana called me up numerous times checking up on me, she even called Kim to make her apologize to me. But I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone not even Jana, I couldn’t dwell on my sad pathetic life.


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