I Hate That I Love You (One Direction/Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

I haven’t smiled in a long time, nor have I laughed. In reality I have nothing to be ungrateful for, but a lot of memories I wish I could never remember. I have a beautiful three-year-old baby girl named Charlotte, and she is my whole world. Being that I am only eighteen years old you would think that much of my enjoyment comes from crushing on boys, clubbing, and studying it up in Uni. But the truth is I gave all of that up for the person I used to love, only for them to break my heart. I’m stronger than I appear to be though. I’m not a lovesick girl who awaits her knight in shining armor… I gave up on love a long time ago.

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1. I live for her now, and he's about to enter my life.

 

I haven’t smiled in a long time, nor have I laughed. In reality I have nothing to be ungrateful for, but a lot of memories I wish I could never remember. I have a beautiful three-year-old baby girl named Charlotte, and she is my whole world. Being that I am only eighteen years old you would think that much of my enjoyment comes from crushing on boys, clubbing, and studying it up in Uni. But the truth is I gave all of that up for the person I used to love, only for them to break my heart. I’m stronger than I appear to be though. I’m not a lovesick girl who awaits her knight in shining armor… I gave up on love a long time ago.  I guess you could say I’m doing pretty well. My grandma had left me 10,000 dollars before she died, and the job that I have as an assistant for a music producer does help me pay the bills. I study online because I still haven’t given up on my education. Nonetheless my number one priority is my daughter, who I couldn’t stand to live without.

 

Physically, a lot has changed. I still have a nicely curved body, with a slightly more than average sized bum. After I gave birth, my breast had decided to increase a whole cup size, so I now stand at 36C. I’ve stopped dying my hair as soon as I got pregnant with Charlotte, so now it was clearly visible that I was a natural brunette. My daughter, who as much as I despise her father, looks exactly like him. She has curly brown hair, mesmerizing green eyes, dimples, and flawless pale skin. It almost hurts every time I look at her, and I see the person who I used to know. If you’re wondering what happened to my parents, they died also. Basically everything in my life has been taken away from me, and as much is this may sound cruel to say, I’m okay with it… so long as no one ever takes away my baby girl. I live for her now.

 

 

“Mummy!!” Charlotte was extremely giddy today, and I can’t say I blame her.

 

Today was the big day. My boss and I had been conversing for a long time about how much it’d be great to travel along with the business. It’s taken a while for him to finally agree with my crazy ideas, but when he did, I could see that he was delighted. We were taking Syco records to London, and there I was promised an increase in my payment to buy Charlotte what she’s always wanted. Although Charlotte may seem like your average little girl, she’s actually not. That innocent little face that I tuck into bed everyday, has been begging me for a two thousand dollar miniature racecar. I’m not even sure where she reads about all this stuff. In fact, she doesn’t even read!!

 

“What is it Letty?” I cooed scooping her up from beside the frame of my bed.

 

“We have to wake up mum,” She whispered.

 

“Why are you whispering baby?” I chuckled.

 

“We don’t want to wake the faiwies” There she goes again claiming that I’ll wake up the fairies.

 

“What if I…. tickled you!!” I exclaimed as I began tickling her.

“Mummy” She managed to say in between her fit of laughter. “Stop!”

 

“The mummy monster wants a kiss,” I playfully growled earning myself a kiss on the cheek. “Okay baby girl, mummy is going to take a shower and get dressed, and then you my little princess is going to take a bubble bath”

 

“Okay” She giggles lightly.

 

“I love you” I kissed her forehead, and turned to walk to my bathroom.

 

After taking a very quick shower, I wrapped a fluffy white towel around my figure. I normally wouldn’t dress up for work, but I was meeting with some people today. I had rearranged my out fit about twenty times, and it was now that I had finally found myself satisfied. I plucked out a black high waist skirt that ends mid thigh, a pale pink cashmere crop top, and some black pumps. I applied the minimal amount of make up that I always did, and left my hair to air dry. I had already packed all of our things the day before, so after our meeting, we’d be able to make our way to the airport. When I entered the living area, I couldn’t help put smile. My daughter was singing intently to a catchy tune that had been on the radio a lot lately. In fact, I believe that the artist was one of our own. I turned to face the telli, only for a moment though, but I guess a moment was all that it took. I could almost feel a small tear trickle down my cheek… it can’t be. The face that I’ve been so hard trying to forget was flashing across my television screen. Harry. I had almost forgotten all about his little boy band, and how much grief they delivered to me. I tried to fight that feeling of anger inside of me, but I just couldn’t. Almost too quickly, I walked over and turned the TV off.

 

“Mummy, why did you that?” Letty whined.

 

“I’m sorry pumpkin, it’s just that mummy can’t handle the noise right now” I put on my best smile for her, and lifted her up. “Now let’s go get you cleaned up”

 

After taking Letty a bubble bath, I had to fight her way into a cute little blue sundress. Charlotte wasn’t one all for dressing up girly, but on certain occasions she’d actually let me get the darn piece of clothing on to her… I guess today wouldn’t be one of those days where she cooperates. I placed a small pink ribbon into her hair, and places her pink Mary Janes onto her small feet.

 

“Now you certainly do look like a beautiful princess” I pinched her cheeks lightly, and tapped her bum. “Now let’s go, you don’t want to make mummy late, now do you?”

 

“No” she giggled.

 

Hand in hand. My daughter and I made our way over to my silver Audi. For Charlotte’s sake, I allowed her to listen to the kind of music that I consider dreadful. The things I do for my little angel. I actually found myself singing along to a couple of songs, until I heard a certain tune that made me want to claw my eyes out.

 

“You’re insecure, don’t know what for

  You’re turning heads when you walk

   Through the d-o-oor”

 

 

I couldn’t take it anymore, and I shut the radio off.

 

“Mummy, you weally hate that song don’t you?” Charlotte teased knowingly, she’s way too damn smart for her own age.

 

“You have no idea pumpkin,” I mumbled.

 

 

About thirty minutes we finally arrived, and boy was I glad. Charlotte had been sleeping peacefully for about fifteen minutes now, and it pained me to have to wake her up.

 

“Come on baby girl, we’re here” I whispered cheerfully into her ear.

 

She began to shuffle around in her sleep, but after some time, she finally woke up.

I agreed to carry her half way into the building, but only because I had “ruined” her beauty sleep. As if she needed beauty sleep, but so she claims that she does. I placed her down onto the elevator floor, and pressed the button that highlighted level number 5. Quicker than usual, the elevator came to a stop. I giggled when I saw Charlotte storm toward my work office. It amazed me how she’s only been to work with me once, yet she knows exactly where my office is.

 

 

“Hold up baby” I called out having to quicken my pace just to catch up with her.

 

“Mummy, there is a stwange man in your office” She pointed to inside my office, where I saw none other then the, Simon Cowell.

 

“Stay here Letty, mummy is going to work out some business,” I ordered.

 

“Good morning Mr. Cowell” I chirped, he was one of our best clients always bringing us the best from the UK… and of course the worst. (One Direction)

 

“Good morning Arabella” His smile was warm, and shockingly as were his eyes. I’ve been told that Simon was a cold man, always stern and never jolly, but I’ve already seen otherwise.

 

“I was told t come and speak to you because it seems that you’ve been offered a higher placement else where… is that correct?” His eyes squinted, and his lower lip puckered. This was not a good look for him.

 

“Yes, that would be correct. The record label is finally transferring to London for good, and I’ve been offered an official placement” I couldn’t help but to smile at what’d I’d just said. It only seemed like yesterday when I was the poor music student begging for a chance at a dim spot light.

 

I never wanted to be out there, I’ve always been a behind the scenes kind of girl, but something about this job gave me hope. I’ve been studying music, and I’m not going to say I’m the best, but I’ve had my fair share of taking ownership to good quality music. Of course, Charlotte only ever hears all that music. I’m a songwriter, a behind the curtain singer, and a pianist. One day I hope to write a hit song that will be sung by somebody as big as Adele, or maybe even Mariah Carey.

 

“Well, I’ve taken it upon myself to hook you up with one of my very own” He smirked, it was kind of smirk that meant he had devious intentions. “I heard you want to be a songwriter, so I guess now is your chance”

 

“Uh, what do you mean sir?” I laughed nervously, his stare was holding, and was sort of uncomfortable.

 

“I was told that you’ve had a history with One Direction, and thought it would be delightful if you worked with them” I think I just died and went to hell.

 

“I-uh-I-can’t” I felt my blood rising, and my body about to collapse.

 

“Bella, I know about this little history” There he goes again with that devious smirk. “And I think you owe me this much”

 

“But I can’t” I faintly whispered.

 

“You can, you will, and you must” He replied sternly. “One Direction hasn’t had a hit since What Makes You Beautiful, and I’ve heard your song writing skills are one of an expert. You either do this for me, or I tell everyone your dirty little secret”

 

And now I know why everyone hates Simon Cowell… He’s an evil motherfucker.

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