Never Loved

Demi Lovato and Niall Horan had a baby, but Demi gave her for adoption without Niall knowing. Its years in the future and the baby is not a baby anymore. She auditions for the X-Factor, and gets in. When Demi turns out to be her mentor, but they don't get along, they hate each other. Will this orphan get her happy family?

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29. Chapter 25.

[a/n: sorry for the wait; school has gotten me so stressed out!]

I had never paid any to much attention to the rest of the contestants. At first, I just didn’t because I thought, ‘hey, what’s the point I might not even get that far’. But after some time, when I was doing extremely well, I just didn’t because, me, being the awkward and unsocial person I am, couldn’t keep up a conversation with any of them. This is what happens when you basically rely on two, to a few people for things; thus, you only talking to those people. And yeah, never really wanted to pay attention to anyone around me and although that sounds like I’m being self-centered. No, it was more like, if I get too attached I won’t ever let go and, if I didn’t pay much attention, I wouldn’t worry as much as to who was better than who, and I wouldn’t get too caught up in all the pressure.

With that being said, now I know it wasn’t such a great idea to ignore all competition on here, it was very drastic. With all the final show coming up in three days, I can honestly say, I am screwed. I have no idea what the other two people will bring to the final show. I don’t know their style, their voice, their persona, nothing.

 There was Lewis who was 36 years old and sang country. Despite my hatred for country music, he was very talented. I had only talked to him once, I think. He seemed nice enough.

Then there was Claire who I knew a little bit better. I didn’t like her, like at all. I know it’s really not good to judge to people when you don’t even know them. But I had heard her make a nasty comment about me, which wasn’t even what caused my dislike about me. I had seen her various times.

It was show time and I was up first. I really didn’t know if I wanted to be first or not because that meant I really wouldn’t know what the other two would bring, but I was ready as I would ever be with my new blue dress. Niall bought it for me, saying it was no big deal because he had never bought me anything (other than lunch) and that's what a good father did; buy his daughter nice things. 

I stood in the middle of the stage, taking deep breathes. The spot light was on me and the music started. “You're never gonna love me, so what's the use? What's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose? What's the point in saying you love me like a friend? What's the point in saying it's never gonna end?

“You're too proud to say that you've made a mistake. You're a coward to the end. I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit. No, I'm not the type that you like. Why don't we just pretend? Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh. I can't let you go, can't let you go oh. I just want it to be perfect; to believe it's all been worth the fight. Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh,” I sang with my hand on my abdomen. I took a deep breathe. I looked out in the crowd. And I looked at her. I guess you could say, in a way, sending her a message from my brain that would never admit anything, than my heart who was no cooperating right with it.

And only in the evening could you give yourself to me. Cause the night is your woman, and she'll set you free. You're too proud to say that you've made a mistake. You're a coward to the end. I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit. No, I'm not the type that you like. Why don't we just pretend?

Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh. I can't let you go, can't let you go oh. I just want it to be perfect. To believe it's all been worth the fight. Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh.

“Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh. I can't let you go, can't let you go oh. I just want it to be perfect. To believe it's all been worth the fight. Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh,” I finished with my eyes shut close. The emotion flowed out of me. I took another deep breathe as the crowd clapped and cheered, and smiled.

The other two final contestants would sing, and I would wait. The show would end for today, and I would wait. America would vote for whom they wanted to win, and I would wait. The next day the winner would be announced, and I would wait.

**

That is what I’d done. I’d waited, but I would wait far too long—be there way too long if I wanted my name to be called.
I had lost track of the countless times Demi had given me a pep talk. And I had lost count of the countless fake smiles I had given her.

 We stood side by side on the stage, while the announcer made a big fuzz and suspension with who the winner was. I was both physically and mentally killing me. I was ready to go up and rip the envelope from her hands and just read it already.

She began to talk more and more, and when she had said 3rd place (which I was glad was Claire and not me) I wished she had kept stalling with her mindless banter.

And as those words came out of her mouth, I could hear my heart shatter in a billion different, tiny pieces, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Second place. 

I hadn’t won.

I didn’t win.

It took my several seconds to process that through my head. I took a deep breath, in and out. I kept a small smile on my face, knowing I couldn’t break down in front of everyone watching me, in front of the cameras. I would save it for tonight. I would wait for tonight where I would be alone with my thoughts, with not only my loss, but everything going on in my life.

It seemed like much more of a disappointment than I had thought it would. I knew; I knew from the moment I took my first step towards the stage on the day of my audition, I would not be able to win. It was too much. I was dreaming too big. Everything was too big for someone so small like me.

Of course I wasn’t bound to win; I had told this to myself numerous times. Though I couldn’t help but feel so . . . like this.

I felt a hand squeeze my upper arm in reassurance, I guessed. I looked to my left and saw it was Demi; she smiled to the cameras. I looked back at Raymond, the announcer looking at me to answer his question of how I felt. I felt like shit, I thought to myself. How else, would I feel?

I kept myself poised while I answered, “I guess yeah, I’m disappointed. But I’m just glad I got to experience this,” I strained a smile. He nodded satisfied then looked at Demi.

“No, she didn’t win, but she’s still a winner in my eyes. She did her best today; everything I’ve always told her to do. I’m seriously so proud of how far she has come,” she finished with a smile on her face. I knew Raymond was still talking, but my brain blocked his voice out completely. 

And it was a good thing, because I was out of it. He went off to ask Claire, who had finished 3rd. Well, I said to myself. At least I didn’t finish last.
Second place was good.

I was good.

Like Demi said, I had done my best. Or did I? I could’ve practiced more than the time I did, or I could’ve chosen a different song, anything.

“Hey,” Demi said turning her body towards me. Her red lips were curved in a smile, her warm brown eyes boring into mine with such emotion I wanted to look away immediately, but they kept me there. I nodded at her, signaling for her to continue. “I’m proud of you; you did great. Now come on.” She took my hand, taking me backstage.

People back there were slapping each other on the back, telling them they did a good job, or whatever. Out on stage they were now congratulating Lewis who had one. I smiled at the sight. If of the three of us had to win, I’m glad it was him. No, I didn’t know him, like at all, but he was a good person.

“I’m really so proud of you, okay? You did your absolute best,” she said while I nodded.  “I just,” she paused. I looked up into her big brown eyes. “I’ve grown to love you as if you were my own, Katelyn, I mean it.”

I nearly died.

**

“You can tell her whenever you want now,” I told him. “I just don’t want to be anywhere near her when you do; I’m done with it.”

“Katelyn,” he says to me slowly. I still won’t look at him. He came to the orphanage and we started talking. As soon as he mentioned my only problem right now that was major, I wouldn’t look at him. He wanted me to be the one to tell her. And I told him he could go screw himself which wasn’t the best idea because he was in fact, my father. And he gave me this disapproving look and I decided I didn’t like it. “You have to.”

I still shook my head and refused to look at him. I don’t really care who he was. And he is just my biological father because up to a few weeks ago he had just shown up in my life. But I would never say that aloud to him because I had already gone through this in my head. It just ended with it wasn’t his fault, really.

“You’re just as stubborn as she is! She is definitely your mother,” Niall remarked, rolling his eyes. I could say what killed my good mood; it was him. I was having a good day, which had rarely happened this past week since I had come in second place on the X-Factor. I was blasting ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’; dancing with Liz and now I had a scowl on my face.

I was about to open my mouth to make a smart remark but a small, but hearable voice, whispered in shock, interrupting me, “What?”
If I was a really insensitive person I would be like, “Oh, she knows. Yay. Now I don’t have to tell her,” but no.

I was definitely the opposite of insensitive. 

[a/n: i have the next chapter written which i will decide to post early if you guys give me good heart-felt comments— or just comments. I hope you guys like it, okay. :) ]

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