For The Love Of Clara

You come into my flower shop everyday. You always order roses for your one night stands. I hate your smile, your eyes, your curly hair. Everything. Then why do I always wish I was the one receiving your flowers? Why do I want you to place your hands on me and kiss me? I want you to rip my clothing off and make love to me in the garden. So, Mr. Styles will you buy me a bouquet of roses?

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25. Don't Cry For Me

I will say 'sorry' awhile. I know none of you will be expecting what's about to unfold. I tried to keep the ending as hush hush as possible. It was incredibly hard, but here's Part I to the ending. Part II will be uploaded right afterwards. Again I'm sorry for any tears I cause...it made me cry and I was the one who came up with the idea! So please enjoy Part I of the ending of For The Love Of Clara. 

I entered into a white world. Filled with peacock feathers and soundless moving clouds. I looked around, my naked feet touching a soft ground made of what I felt to be marshmallows. I smiled at the feeling and twirled on the fluffy floor. It was bright, a place I always wanted to be. 

"Hello Clara," I turned and saw my father. 

"Dad?" 

"Yes darling," he smiled. 

"Where are we?" 

"A bridge, a fairy tale, a dream. Whatever you want it to be," he said, folding his hands behind his back. 

"Can I stay here?" I smiled up to the cloud-filled sky. 

"Only if you wish. You make the decisions." 

I looked back down at him, "Truly?" 

"Of course. You've always made the decisions and so far you've made them wisely." 

"Yeah, I've made the worse decisions these past couple of months," I scoffed. 

"If you didn't make the decisions that you did, you wouldn't have met Harry or Zayn. Your daughter would just be fragment of imagination."

"Daughter? A girl?" I started to remember the hospital. Zayn. Harry. Pain. A baby's cry. My daughter crying. "Is she alright?" 

"Yes, but don't you want to see her yourself?" 

"I don't want to loose you, Daddy," I said almost allowing tears to fall down my face. 

"You never lost me, sweetheart. I was always there, and let's just say that flower shop of ours is looking real nice."

I smiled bright at him. "I want to stay here." 

"It's your decision," he said. 

"I want to stay here," I repeated. 

"Then you must tell the world of your choice," he smiled. "Now close your eyes, and I'll see you soon."

"Alright, Daddy," I said and then lowered my eyelids and the white peacock feathered world disappeared and I begun to hear beeping with heaving weight over my chest. Like someone was pumping air back into my lungs. 

I gasped, filling my lungs with oxygen and letting my eyes open gently. 

"Clara," I heard my name. 

"Can you hear me, sweetheart?" 

My eyes drifted from the artificial white light and two each of the boys that stood beside me. Lola was crying at the end of the bed. I saw dried tears on Zayn and Harry's face. What was going on? I was only gone for a couple minutes. 

I still heard beeping in my ears, then it turned to a buzzing like a bumblebee floated into my ear and now occupied my eardrum. My eyes went half-closed and I could feel myself falling again. Drifting away.

"No no no," said Zayn. "Stay with me, Clara." 

"Where the hell are the doctors?!" Harry yelled. 

"Shh," I said in a dazing voice. A small smile appeared on my lips, I was escaping back to the white world with Daddy. Then I was lifted back to reality, as a drug filled my veins. I fought the drug, but in the end I lost and I was brought back to the hospital. 

I looked at Zayn first and then remembered what my father said. 'Then you must tell the world of your choice.' I was going to leave them. By body will stay behind as my soul lifted to the great white world where my Daddy would come for me. Where we can relive all our lost memories. 

I needed to them that I was leaving. Disappearing, but only in body. I would always be here in mind and soul. They would learn to live without me as my name slowly became forgotten, the only part of me is living inside of my daughter.

"Please don't cry for me," I said as Harry lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my fingertips. "My daughter will take my place. She will be the everlasting diamond of the world I left behind." 

"Clara, please love, stop talking like this," said Zayn. 

I looked up at him, "Oh Zayn. My soul is drifting away and I only have a small amount of time to talk to you. My daughter will call another woman her mother, but she will never know who her true father is." The room was silent, leaning on every word I spoke. "I wish for her to live some place where she is not burden by the life pressure created and instead someplace where everything can begin again." 

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked. 

"Lola and Niall," I whispered. "Will take my daughter. Zayn and Harry never stop loving her. Even though she is not with you physically remember that you both are a part of her." I could feel myself falling again and my eyes started to close. "I love you both," I slowly muttered as I could feel myself departing from my human body. 

"Clara you can't leave your daughter!" Harry screamed. 

"I'm not leaving her," I muttered. "I'm giving her a place for me in her heart." I could feel my head become heavy as my eyelids again begun to close. "Leesi," I mumbled. "Lee...I love yo...." My words drifted off into nothing. 

As my soul peeled from my skin as I felt for the last time on my human body a single teardrop fall onto my cheek. I never knew whose tear drop that was, but as I walked up to a tall metal gate that opened at my presence I knew that this is where I belonged. 

"Welcome home, sweetheart," said my father as he held out his arms. I ran up to him and he embraced me in a hug. "I have lot to tell you," he finished. 

"I can't wait to hear all about it," I smiled up at him. 

Please don't think of me as a selfish person leaving the ones I loved behind. My body, my mind, my spirit was giving up within me and I knew it was time to let my body take over. My heart was drained of all the love I could provide them and now it was my time to be with the person I needed the most. My father. 

Death. 

Dying. 

It's all just the way of life. My soul stays here with my father as my spirit fills my daughter. I will never leave them, and as my body is buried into the earthen ground they will mourn over me. They will cry for days and wish for it all to be a dream. 

They will move on in time and people will forget Clara Elyssa. I wish Zayn and Harry the best, for I never wanted them to go through any of this. They deserve so much better and I just couldn't provide the reassurance they thirsted for. 

They both stole my heart and I never asked for it back. They will keep a part of me with them always. 

With knowing that I know that they can live without me there physically. They will always have the courage to continue on with their lives and I hope they find that one woman they are looking for. I hope they don't mourn over me for the rest of their lives...I hope they get married and have more children, but never forgetting that they are both part of my daughter's life. 

"Are you ready?" My father held onto me, keeping me close to him as a bright light formed in front of us.

"We aren't staying here?" I didn't want to leave the white feathered world I've grown to love. 

"Of course not," he chuckled. "There is a much better world on the other side of this light."

I looked from him back to the light and saw a world that made me smile with overjoy. A place I knew I could always love. A place that was filled with brightness, love, and unforgettable souls. 

Yes this was the place I belonged. A place I would stay. A place where I would laugh, and wait for them all to rejoin me again in a world of unending bliss. Unending youth. Unending love. 

To be continued...

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