Three Billy Goats Rough

Another Ghetto retelling of a classic ... the Shame


2. Pay as you go


Mezzo eye's almost popped out of their sockets when he saw the Meadow surround by a strong river. Mezzo pulled out his Blackberry Curve 3G and BBM'd Ample.


"Yes yes ! Bantum come through for us. Get here asap and bring a BIG BAG mummy gonna be well haps!

Mezzo x x"


Mezzo could actually see Bantam's  jumping and rolling around in the lush Weed. Without hesitation Mezzo charged towards the wooded bridge. Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop. Over the bridge.


" Are you Serious ! " Shouted the voice from under bridge.  


Mezzo turned and saw two big, pale yellow eyes peer through the gaps of the wooden planks.


"Your the second fraggle to come clip clopping over my bridge." The pale yellow eyes stared at Mezzo.


Mezzo puffed up his chest and proclaimed -


"Listen rude boi, you dont even know who you're dealing with. Further more my older brother on his way here. His got a Blackberry Bold with the light thingy..."


" The light thingy .. you mean flash , Yeah boi , that shit is the one. Looks like your  packing a random  pay as you go . Meh Ok , ok you can pass through."


Mezzo gazed deep into the pale yellow eyes.


"If he tries that sizzal with Ample that guy gonna wake up dead."


With that thought Mezzo gallopped towards Bantam. Bantam greeted Mezzo with a high five. Then handed Mezzo some Weed.


Ample stood tall. His grey eyes scanned the horizon . There yonder just as Mezzo's Ping had said, was the lush Meadow. Ample strolled towards the wooden plank bridge. In the corner of Ample's eye he was able to see a shadowy figure claw its way out of the river.


A wet bulbous cranium , slowly popped up. Ample could see a heavy set brow with no eye brows. Underneath that were two evenly spaced  egg shaped pale yellow eyes. The eyes contained pitch black pupils small and menacing.

The creature's whole hairless head could be seen now. Slowly raising to show off a sharp nose, red and swollen. A thin slit for a mouth with two pearl white fangs protruding at the bottom of each corner. It was a Troll.

An ugly one at that. As the Troll stood up to his full height, Ample was able to observe the beast. The Troll's blue skin, was covered in a fixture of Barnacles. And the smell of rotting seafood lashed at Amples nostrils.


For some reason the troll was wearing a loincloth, he clearly never heard of online shopping. The red loincoth had seen better days.

It was covered in cigarette burns and yesterdays supper. At least the Troll was wearing vans, but sadly his fat big toe was poking out. Exposing a thicken and discoloured toenail.


" Your Blackberry give it to me !" Barked the blue Troll  as he towered over Ample. Dry spittal had formed in the corners of the breasts mouth.


Looking up into the Pale yellow eyes, Ample calmly said


" Say please."





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