This is My Life. Why do I hate it?

Just a girl with a hard life really.


1. The last thing I heard


The last thing I heard my brother say was ''Mom dad Ashley does drugs.'' The last thing I said to him was ''I hate you! You’re the one dating the schools slut and dad told you to stay away from whores like her.” I ran out of the house but I heard someone coming after me I didn’t look to see who it was. The last thing I heard my dad say was ''Ashley look out.'' That’s the last thing I heard. I was a daddies girl Destery was a mommies boy me and him was really close intill that day. So I guess I should tell you who I am. Well I’m Ashley Taylor. I’m 16 and I have a twin brother and his name is Destery. As of right now I'm in the hospital. Why you might ask? I got hit by a car. I ran out the house crying I wasn’t looking where I was going. Well you might want to know what happened.

            My mom and dad were in the kitchen cooking. Destery and I were in the living room watching T.V. I looked at him and said ''Des, Do you really love her I mean Jessica?'' he didn’t answer me so I throw a pillow at him and he said ''What the hell Ash?'' then I hear dad say ''Destery watch your mouth.'' I laughed but Destery didn’t think it was very funny. He looked like he lost his best friend but I was his best friend. ''Destery?'' I asked he looked at me ''What Ashley?'' I wanted to ask what was wrong but my phone want off and it was Alex. I looked at Destery he knew who it was and he took my phone to see what the text message said. Alex had asked me to go over and get high with him. Destery looked at me like I was the worst person ever. I wanted to keep this away from him more then I have ever wanted but it was too late. ''Ashley my room now!'' Destery looked so mad but I did want he said to do. ''What the hell Ashley? That’s not you. What are you doing?" he just keeping going on with question after question and I got mad. ''What am I doing? What are you doing with Jessica? Dad told you to stay away from WHORES LIKE HER!'' I said the last part really loud. I didn’t mean to it just happened. Destery looked so mad I knew what he was about to. '' No, Destery don’t please.'' I asked but it was too late he ran down the hall. '' Mom dad Ashley’s doing drugs.'' he said. It hurt so bad that I told he was dating the whore of the school. After I said that I ran out of the house and here we are now.

            I’m in the hospital in a coma. I don’t wanna live I thought as I was in the drakness. I heard someone say ''Ashley? Is that you?'' I turned to the voice and it was him. My best friend in the whole world. He died saving me. I was so happy that I was crying. ''What happened to you?'' He asked. ''I don’t know. All I know is that Destery told mommie and daddy I did drugs and I told them that he was dating Jessica and I ran out the house and last thing I hard was daddy saying Ashley watch out.'' I hugged him. ''I missed you so much Justin.'' He didn’t hug back. He didn’t even say anything back I think he was thinking. "Ashley it’s not your time yet.'' I looked at him confused and then I heard my dad.

            I was coming out of the darkness. When I opened my eyes I saw my dad. ''Ashley! Baby girl are you ok. It’s alright daddy's here.'' He said hugging me. I smiled and looked at him. He looked like he hasn’t slepted in a long time. ''Daddy?'' I asked and he looked at me. ''What baby girl?'' ''What happened?'' I asked wanting to know what happened to me. He looked at me ''Ashley you was hit by a car and has been a coma for two months.'' He looked like he was about to cry. ''Where’s mommie and Des?'' I asked. ''There at home. I should go tell the doctor your up.'' He said kissing my head. I was alone. I was thinking about what I missed over the two months and how mommie and daddy took it most of all I wanted to know if Destery was okay. Then the doctor came in. ''Ashley you might feel some pain here and there but take it easy and you can live in four days.'' the doctor said and then left. Daddy came in. ''Daddy?'' I asked. He looked at me ''Yes, baby girl?'' ''How is Destery doing?'' I asked. Like I said I wanted to know if he was okay. ''He is okay I guess. He never comes out his room. When he does he looks like he has been crying. Your mother has tried to talk to him but he always says it’s my fault I should of listened to her.'' He said looking hurt then I asked ''Did you call momma and Des and tell them I’m up?'' He took out his phone and said she’s up then he hung up and looked at me ''They are on the way'' He said. It was 10:30 p.m. when they got here. I woke up at 10:15 p.m. I saw Destery walk in and I had the biggest smile on and then he looked up at and my smile left. He has been crying by the looks of it. ''Destery?'' I asked and he just looked at me. ''Destery?'' I asked one more time. Then out of no where I was crying and he looked at me ''Ashley, I’m so sorry i-i di-didnt know this would h-happen.'' He said crying and came over to me and hugged me. ''Destery, I love you.'' I said. ''I love you too Ash.'' When he called me Ash I was better I didn’t hurt.

            Four days are up and I’m on my way home with Des. ''Ash, you wanna go to the park? I want you to meet someone.'' Destery asked. I couldn’t say no. The park was my home away form home. ''Destery!'' I hard some girl say and I looked. She was so pretty. "Samantha!'' Destery said back. They hugged. ''Ashley this is Samantha, Samantha this is Ashley.'' He said I looked at him weird. ''Oh, yeah. Ash this is my girlfriend.'' He said with a big smile. ''Oh, you’re the Ashley I hard so much about.'' She said. ''How much you hear about me?'' I asked she looked at me weird. ''That you are Destery's loving little sister of three mins and Destery never stops talking about you and blaming himself for what happened.'' Samantha said. I just looked at Destery. ‘‘Do momma and daddy know about her?'' I asked the look on his face was so funny. I started laughing. ''What you laughing at?'' Destery asked. ''You face.'' I said in between laughs. ''Oh, wait what about Jessica?'' I asked. ''All she wanted was one thing and she wasn’t getting any from me so she broke up with me. And yes mom and dad know about Samantha.'' Destery said answering my first question. I want to the swings and just sat there thinking of the night me and Destery got in the fight he said sorry but I don’t know if I can forgive him. ''Destery?'' I looked ever where he was gone but Samantha was here. ''He want to go call you dad and tell him where you are.'' Samantha said. ''Oh, I just had to ask him if anyone of my friends came by and saw me in the hospital.'' She just looked at me and then she walked over to the swing next me and sat there. ''Ashley, do you blame your brother for what happened?'' She asked I knew soon or later someone ask. ''I kinda do but then again I don’t. No one knew I was going to get hit by a car.'' I answered with tears in my eyes. As I was sitting then I remember Justin he was my best friend and when I saw him it reminded me of the good times we had at the park. One tear slid down. ''Ashley what’s wrong?'' She asked I just looked at the ground and then I heard someone coming. ''What’s wrong with Ash?'' Destery asked Samantha. ''I don’t know. I looked away and then looked back and she was crying. I asked what was wrong and she looked down at the ground.'' ''Ashley Taylor?'' Destery said like he was mad because I didn’t answer his girlfriend.

            I just got up and headed for the cemetery. I wanted to see Justin one last time. I walked right to it. I know right where it is because I always was here. After he died I think I loved him more then a friend but know I could never tell him. I hard walk behind me. I turn to see Destery and I start crying and he runs over to me. ''Ashley its ok. I’m here.'' He said trying to clam me down so I would stop crying. He knew how I felt about Justin. I remember the day Justin died.

            I was a walking home from school he was suppose to walk with me but he got in the car with Alex. I was going to tell Justin he could stay the night if it was ok with my dad. He wouldn’t answer my text messages or calls. So, I want to Alex's house to talk to Justin. Alex answered the door and said what do you want and I said Justin. Then I see Justin coming and when he seen me and he ran to me and hugged me. I hugged back and then I said Justin will you walk home with me its kinda late and its getting dark. He nodded his head. We started walking and then some car want by and I got scared they was going really slow so I grad Justin and he looked down and said its ok I’m here nothing will happen right after he said that. The same car came by again this time he stopped and got out. He walked over to us and said I was beautiful I was about to laugh when he graded my arm I yelled for him to let go but he didn’t. Justin hit the man and then the man took something out of his back pocket and said if you hit me one more time she’s dead.

            Justin just looked scared just as much as I was. The man didn’t do anything because Justin said if you hurt her your dead and the man dropped me and want over to him. Then I hard the man says what was that. Justin said it again the man looked back at me and started walking to me and Justin jumped one his back and the man fall and Justin hit him but the man had a knife and cut Justin and then the man got up and walked over to his car. I walked over to Justin. Justin you can’t leave me your my best friend. I said to him and he looked at me and said I love you Ashley I have always love you. After he said that I knew I loved him too. I love you too Justin don’t leave me. I called for help when they showed up they asked if I wanted to go with them I said yes. When, we got to the hospital. I called my dad and told him where I was. That’s when the doctor came and told me he didn’t make it. I started crying and when my dad got there and came over to me and asked what happened and I told him.

            I loved Justin. He died saving me I still thinks it’s me fault but everyone tells me its not. When Destery took Samantha home I was still in the car. When, we finely got home. My mom hugged me. ''What’s wrong Ashley?'' my mom asked. I guess I was still crying. "I miss Justin.'' I said and that’s when Destery, my dad, and mom gave me a hug. After that my moms want back to the kitchen to finish dinner.

            I want to my room. The last thing I remember was walking to my bed and lying down. I had a dream about Justin and when I was in the darkness. I woke up then looked at the time and it was 1:05 a.m. I got out of the bed and walked out the door. I want to the kitchen and want to look for something to eat. I hear someone coming I turned around it was Destery. “What are you doing up?’’ I asked him scaring him. “I heard things and came to see what it was.’’  Destery said not so scared anymore. “Oh. Des?’’ I asked. I wanted to know something. “Ashley what do you want? I wanna go back to sleep.” “How is Samantha? I mean as a friend because I would like to be friends with her.” I asked wanting to know. Yeah, I want to be her friend because the one that was my best friend he died and I want to have a new friend. I don’t have many friends.  “She nice, you like her just like mom and dad, she’s pretty, and she loves music just like you.” “Oh, ok. Well I’m going back to sleep. Night love you Des.” I said walking away.

            When I got to my room I turned on the light and looked for my pictures. When I found them I saw my favorite picture of me and Justin. It was the day we met and I remembered it so well. I was walking at school and I was knocked down but some guy and he said something to the guy I know he would be there for me and then he helped me up and then he smile. I loved his smile. “Uh, thanks.” I smiled. “Your welcome, I’m Justin.” He said he is the only guy that would talk to me other then Destery. “I’m Ashley.” I said with a smile. I was starting to like him and I didn’t know anything about him. “Oh, your Destery’s sister.” “How’d you know that? I mean we just moved here and juckers.” He laughed when I said junkers. Everyone laughs when I say it. “I have classes with him, I see you and him together all the time, and ya’ll look alike.” He said with a little laugh. “Ha. I forgot we was twins my bad.” I said laughing. He just looked at me. “What?” I asked. “Destery is behind you.” He said and pointed. I guess he wasn’t looking at me. “We forgot your twin brother, your only friend, and the person that looks just like you. Love you too sis.” Destery said acting like he was hurt all it did was make Justin and me laugh so hard. “Destery, I forgot get over it. I know you love me.” I said with a smile. I started to walk away I didn’t want to be late for class but then again I didn’t care if I was there or not but my mom and dad would know so I want. “Hey Ashley wait up.” Justin said. I looked to see what he wanted. “Okay. What’s up?” “You wanna hang out so we can get to know each other.” He asked like he really cared. “Umm, yeah sure. After school at the park.” I said and started walking to class the bell had already ringed and I was late like I care.

            I started to cry remembering that day. I looked at the date and when I seen it I cried more it would be four years of being friends today. It was October 4th. I didn’t have to go to school today since I just got home from the hospital and I didn’t want people to know what happen but knowing my luck people already know. I looked at the time again. It was the time my dad gets up for work which was 4:30 a.m. I walked out of my room and saw my dad. I ran to him and hugged him. “What’s wrong baby girl?’’ He asked. “It’s October 4th daddy. It’s the day me and Justin became friends.” I was crying more now and my dad just hugged me and I didn’t want him to let go. I guess I fall asleep because when I woke up I was in my room. I looked at what time it was and it was noon. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I looked at myself I have blue eyes and black hair. My eyes were red from crying and my hair was a mess. I walked over to the shower and turned on the shower and right before I got in I heard a knock on the bathroom door. I put a towel around me and opened the door. My mom was right there and she looked at me “Ashley, I’m sorry.” “For?” I asked confused “That today is October 4th.” She said and then walked away. I close the door and get in the shower. I was crying the whole time I was in the shower thinking about Justin.

            I got out of the shower and put on my Boys like Girls shirt on and some shorts on. I walked out of the bathroom and in to the kitchen. My mom was in the kitchen dancing and singing to the radio. I was laughing when she heard me. “Oh, uh, you didn’t see that.” She said surprised. “Ha. Okay mom.” I said laughing. “What you want to eat?’’ she asked trying to change the subject. “I don’t care I’m not that hungry.” She looked at me like I was crazy. I’m always eating. I eat more then my brother. I just walked to my room. Today was a really sad day. I walked out of my room and out the door. My mom knew where I was going she always does. She’s the only one that does other then Justin. I was going to mine and Justin’s hiding spot. I wanted to see him so much. I missed him like crazy.  I was walking when a car went by I didn’t see who it was all I heard was hey baby that was it. I didn’t care I got it all the time even when I was with my dad. When I got to the spot it looked bad. I haven’t been to it in two months. I always was here just thinking about life and Justin. The last time I was here was when Alex started talking to me again. I was thinking this is weird Justin ex-best friend is going to talk to the person that took him for you. He wanted to know if I wanted to hang out and I said yeah. It was fun hang out with someone after Justin but that changed after when he got a girlfriend that didn’t like me. I guess she blamed me for Justin’s death a bunch of girls did. They think I planed it. That’s what I do here I just think. Heard someone coming I turn around and it was my mom I guess she wanted to know if I was okay. “Ashley, don’t cry.” She said coming over to hug me. “Ugh! Mommie I cry too much. I haven’t been the same since Justin died.” I said crying a little more. “It’s okay. Things happen some good and not so good but look on the bright side you and Destery came close then ever when everything happened.’’ She said trying to make it better. “Mom the only reason why he is always with me is because he feels bad and he thinks it’s his fault. I think it’s my fault with Justin but everyone says its not. No one tells Destery that it’s not his fault.” I said not looking at her but the water. “Ashley everyone knows Justin did it to save you and if he wasn’t there you wouldn’t be here and how do you think Destery would feel or your dad or me. Ashley, do you not think about these things?” My mom said getting mad at me. “I do think about that. I think if that never happened Justin would still be here. His parent and his little sister didn’t move. Mom, I think about that all the time. I was in love with Justin how do you think I felt when he died in my arms after he told me he loved me? I think about that all the time the only one that knows that is Destery.’’ I said and I was crying more. “Ashley I didn’t know that.” She said feeling sorry now. “Mom, don’t feel sorry it’s not your fault for how I feel.” I said looking at the water where Justin and I want swimming. I smiled and looked at my mom “Do you think its time to go to the house before dad and Des get home?” I asked. “That is a good idea. Why didn’t you ever tell me you liked Justin and why did you tell Destery before me?” She said as we where walking. “I don’t know. I didn’t tell Destery he knew along.” I said.

            When we got home I want to me room. I looked at all the pictures of Justin and me. “Ashley?” I heard someone say. I looked around and didn’t see anyone. “What?” I asked a little scared. “I love you. It wasn’t your fault. I’m still here with you.” I knew who it was now. “Justin, I love you too.” Then I fall asleep. I had a dream about Justin and me when we were together, the day he died, and the day I know I loved him. When I woke up it was 6 in the morning. I had to get up and get ready for school. It was my first day back I was scared. I got ready and I want in to Destery’s room he was just putting on his shirt when I saw something. “Destery, why?” I asked scaring him. “A-ashley, it was my fault you were in the coma I did it and I couldn’t take it no more.” Destery said.  Then the talk I and mom had come to my mind. “Des, it wasn’t your fault no one knew I was going to get hit by a car. It was my fault for not looking where I was going. None of this is your fault I’m the one to blame not you.” I said watching to see what he does. He didn’t do anything but stayed there and thought about what I had just said. He didn’t say anything for the longest time. “Everyone blames you for Justin’s death. How do you deal with that?” He asked something I didn’t think about. “It wasn’t my fault. He saved me. That’s all I’m thankful for because I wouldn’t get to see you mom or dad anymore.” I said with a smile. “I’m thankful too.” He said as I was walking out the door. I was thinking about what I just said to Destery. It was true it wasn’t my fault. I was tired of being blamed for it. I walked into the kitchen and got me something to eat and Destery comes in. “Ashley?” “Yes, big brother?” I said. He hates when I do that but he laughs when I do. “It wasn’t your fault. It was his. But I’m glad he did it.” He said so sad like. I looked at him and smiled “Thanks Des that means a lot to me.” I said going over to him and hugging him.  “Don’t blame yourself anymore.” I said in the hug.

            After Destery and I hugged my mom walked in but right behind her was dad. They are so cute together and so in love I just wish I could find what they have. I looked at the time “Destery we got to go or we will be late.” I said not really caring. I hugged my dad and mom and said bye. Destery and I walked out of the house to my car. I drove to school and when we got there people looked at me but I was use to it. “Destery, Ashley.” We both looked at where our names were called from and it was Samantha. “Hey Samantha.” I said when she came over to us. “Hey Ashley good morning baby.” She said to Destery and he kissed her. I walked away. Everything about this school reminded me of Justin. I just wanted school to be over and it hasn’t even started it. “Ashley.” I heard. I looked to see where is coming from. “What Jessica?” I asked as she walked up to me. “Yesterday was the 4th right?” She asked everyone knows the fourth was a hard day for me. “Yeah, it was. Why do you wanna know?” I asked getting mad. I really don’t like her. “You weren’t here and I thought you were missing that loser Justin.” She said with a smile. “He was not a loser. His was and always will be a better person then you. All you ever do is tried to hurt people that isn’t just like you and those so call friends of yours don’t even like you all they want is money.” I said and walked away. I heard people laugh but I don’t know why.

            I walked in to my first class and I walked to my seat. Everyone came in and I was looked at by everyone. “What is everyone looking at? I was out of two months in a coma. So what get over it okay?” I said getting tired of everyone looking at me. The teacher came in and heard what I said. “Oh, your back. That’s good.” She said and walked in the front of the class. “Good morning everyone. We have a new student. Class this is Andrew.” The teacher said pointing to him. He was tall and really cute and the only seat in the class was next to me where Justin sat. No one has sat there since he died but he didn’t know that. “Take the seat next to Ashley.” The teacher said and walked to her desk. He walked back to the seat and everyone looked at him. “Hey, I’m Andrew.” He said. “Hi, I’m Ashley. I said with a small smile. “That’s a pretty name.” He said with a big smile. I laughed. “Ashley is there something you would like to shear with the class.” She asked. “I don’t know if you wanna know but I supposedly have a pretty name.  Oh, and thanks for giving Andrew Justin’s seat.” I said getting up and walking out the class. I was thinking why a guy would talk to me after Justin I don’t want to talk to any guy other then Destery. “Ashley!” I heard my teacher say so I turned around “What?” I asked with a bored tone. “You get in that classroom or go to the office.” She said pointing to the classroom. “Hmm, let’s think about this. Classroom or office.” I said. “Go to the office.” She said really mad. “Hey, how’d you know I was going to pick the office? I have to get my stuff.” I said walking to the class and getting my stuff while I was laughing.

            When I got to the office “What you do this time Ashley?” The lady in the office said. “Ha. I walked out the class again. The teacher gave Justin seat to the new kid.” I said walking to the door for the dean. “You, again that one time in two months.” The dean said like he didn’t know I was in a coma. “I have been in a coma for the past two months. Don’t people tell you anything?” I said not giving a crap if he knew or not. “Yes, people do tell me things and I do know that you were in a coma for two months and in those two months not one student was in the office and your first day back and your in here for what.” He said getting mad. “Lets see why, hmm maybe the stupid teacher I have given Justin’s seat to the new kid and I walked out the classroom.” I said like I could careless for what he said. “Two days” That was all he said and I knew what that meant. “Okay whatever.” I said walking out of the room and back to the class.

            When I got back to the class “Looks like you go off on a good note.” The teacher said. “Ha. Not really I got two days of ISS. If that’s a good note then I am always getting them.” I said and set down in my seat. A few minutes go by and I’m bored and then I get a note. Hey I’m sorry for whatever I did for you not to like me. It was Andrew. Oh, you didn’t do anything it was meant to happen me getting in trouble I mean. I wrote back. Why do you say that? You seem like you never get in trouble. Ha. Me not getting in trouble is the day I’m dead most likely. I’m the number one trouble maker in this school and the number two is my brother. After I gave it back to him after writing that he looked at me weird but he wrote back. Is that the Justin kid you said about? Or is he your boyfriend who is out today? I looked at him and he looked at me and smiled. Um, no. His not my brother or my boyfriend. He was my best friend who diedLI was about to cry it seemed like. Oh, I’m so sorry. What happened? If you don’t mind me asking. Or I’ll just stop talking to you if that’s what you want. He handed it back to me and I read it and the ball ringed. I got up and I watched for him when I was out the class.

            When I saw him I want up to him and he did something I didn’t think anyone would do. He hugged me. “Um, I’m sorry. It just looked like you need a hug.” Andrew said. “Ha. I was going to give you a hug for being brave to talk to the number one trouble maker.” I said so a lot of people could hear me and stay away from him. I think I was starting to like him. “Oh, what class you got now.” He asked me. I wasn’t listening. I was listening to someone talk about me. “Hold on real fast like.” I said and walked over to the two girls that were talking about me. “You wanna say that to my face?” I said scaring them. “Um, Ashley what do you mean?” One with red hair said. “You know what I am talking about. I supposedly take every guy in the school well all the cute one like that one Justin kid that’s dead.” I said in her face. “Get out my face. You don’t know me like that.” She said. “Little girl” “My name is Emily.” She said cutting me off. “Emily that’s a stupid name, you need to stop dying your hair red it don’t look good on you, and learn how to keep your mouth shout like your friend here.” I said pointing to her friend. “I know how to keep my mouth shut but it looks like you cant if you didn’t come over here and got in my face I wouldn’t have done this.” She said hitting me in the face. “What the hell was that for?” I said hitting her in the stomach. She bended over and I kneed her in the face. “Hey, stop it.” I heard her friend say and I looked over at her and she ran to go get a teacher. “Ashley, what the heck?” I turned and saw it was Destery. “Um, there’s no getting out of this one is there?” I asked. He shacks his head no.

             When the girl and the teacher came back I was gone. I didn’t wanna get in trouble. “Ashley?” I heard and turned around and see Andrew trying to come to me. “What I got to go?” I said still walking.  He looked hurt but I realty had to go. “I wanted to know if you wanna hang out sometime as friends.” He said. “If you wanna hang out come with me then I have to get out of the school.” I said stopping and looking at him and he walked over to me “Why do you have to get out of the school so fast?” He asked walking with me. “Um, I just got in a fight and whipped her ass and her friend want and got a teacher.” I said he just nodded as we got out of the school and started walking on the sidewalk. “Your first day at school and you’re skipping.” I said. He looked at me and didn’t notice he was skipping school.

            “I don’t care. If your not there I don’t wanna be there.” He said as we got to the park. “Why? I’m the number one trouble maker and the number two died and now my brother is number two and he doesn’t get in trouble anymore after I got out of the hospital for getting hit by a car.” I said walking to the swings. “You’re cute. You got hit by a car!” He said like he meant it. “Yeah, Destery told my patents I did drugs I told him I hated him and told our parents he was dating Jessica the school’s slut and I was crying and ran out the house and heard my dad say Ashley watch out and then I got hit by a car.” I explained to him. He looked at me like I was lying. “I’m not laying true story. Today was my first day back.” I said and he just was like wow. I sat on the swing and just sat there and then someone was pushing me and I turned to see it was Andrew. He was so cute I had the urge to kiss him. As if he could read minds he stopped me and kissed me. I kissed back but I didn’t even know him the much. He pulled away. “Um, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He said looking away. “It’s okay. I wanted to kiss you because if I didn’t want to I would have kicked your ass.” I said with a smile. “But wait, I don’t even know you and I wanted to kiss you.” I said after I thought about it. This is so weird. I liked Andrew but I didn’t know anything about him. “So, Ashley you wanna tell me about yourself?” Andrew asked bringing me out of my thoughts. “What do you want to know about me?” I asked. “Your whole life story.” He said and I looked at him weird. “Oh, trust me you don’t wanna know my life story.” I said. He just looked at me. “Fine, I’ll tell you my life story.” I said after a long weird silence. 

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