Bandage

Anneliese Marie was diagnosed with ventricular septal defect(hole in her heart) at birth. Her life, for the past twenty years, has been fragile and hectic. Nothing ever certain, nothing ever concrete. Nothing ever secure. She lives with her sister, Felicity in a moderate London flat since her parents death four years prior at the age of sixteen. But she mostly finds herself in hospitals rather than home. One day, after being rolled into a recovery room after yet another surgery, Anne finds herself next to Liam Payne-a boy in the popular band One Direction. She also finds herself falling in love with him. But with her situation, could anything lasting and worthwhile ensue between the two?

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5. Autumn Leaves

I UPLOADED!! Finally!! I hope you all enjoy!

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I should’ve kissed him.

That’s what has been circling around my head for the last two days. He was so close. I should have just leaned in and kissed him. But I was too much of a wreck at the time to even consider it.

And now I can’t even gather up enough nerve to call him back.

“And Ooh how I miss you. I miss you and I wish you'd stay. Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you? Float down, Like autumn leaves…”

The soft tones floated from my phone yet again. Instead of answering I just stare at it, soaking in the meaning of the words, holding back more tears.

Liam had changed my ringtone sometime before he left. It was Ed Sheeran’s ‘Autumn Leaves’. And now every time he calls or texts I hear it.

I don’t have the heart to change it. It’s like hearing the ringtone makes me all mushy inside, because he’s telling me he misses me, in his own goofy little way.

But it also makes that sick feeling in the back of my throat appear. The one filled with sadness and need and want and helplessness because there really isn't anything I can do about it.

So I just sit on the hospital bed, curled up in as many blankets as I can handle, and stare at the wall.

I’m pathetic. I’ve reached a new low. You can’t even take a lift to the level I’m on, only stairs. Long steep spiraling stairs. Damn, I really need some happy pills, this is getting ridiculous. 

My mobile stops, a beep signaling that I had another voice mail. That rounds the tally up to four new voice mails. 

Might as well get this over with.

I reach for my phone and tuck it between my ear and pillow, staying wrapped in my security blankets.

‘You have five new voice mails  First message- “Hey Annie, it’s Liam. You must be sleeping or something. Sorry if I disturbed you. Call me back when you wake up, please.”’

In all fairness I was actually sleeping when he called the first time. I just didn't call him back.

‘Next message- “Hey it’s Liam again. Are you okay? I must be catching you at all the wrong times.”’

He chuckled. The sound made a small whimper fly out of my mouth. He was too cute.

‘Next message- Okay babe this is getting a little confusing. You’re not answering my texts either. Are you alright? Call me.”’ His voice was slightly strained, it made my heart clench painfully. 

‘Last message- “Anne. Don’t do this. Please, just call me.”’  

I couldn’t call him. It would mean that we were going somewhere. That we would continue on as this couple pretending to be normal and I can’t pretend to be normal.

I’ll never be normal. Not with this thing consuming every aspect of my life.

He deserved something better.

Something lasting.  

Turing my phone off I toss it to the end of the bed, bringing the covers completely over my head and cried myself to sleep.

 

A beeping noise and bright flashing light broke through my consciousness later that night.

Groggily I remember my mobile was off and my sister, Felicity, always checked up on me at least once every few days when I was in the hospital.

Figuring it was her; I picked up the land line and brought it to my ear. “Hey Felicity, I’m fine my phone was just off-”

“This isn’t Felicity.” The voice on the other end clamped my throat shut, making it impossible to breathe.

I needed to hang up the phone. Put the receiver down and pretend like nothing happened. 

My mind was screaming at me one thing, while my hand held a tight grip on the phone, telling me another.

“Please don’t hang up Anne. Just please listen to me.” Liam rushed his voice sounding pained.

There was silence for the next few moments, until I took in a shaky breath and he started talking. “You haven’t been answering my calls or my texts. I’m worried about you Annie. What’s going to happen between us?” He sounded so hurt, so confused.

The start of tears pricked at my eyes. I had to stop this. As much as it might hurt- and it would hurt- ending it before anything really started is the best for the both of us.

“Liam, nothing is going to happen between us. Nothing can happen between us.” My voice cracked and the tears rolled down my cheeks.“Not with my condition.” He tried to interrupt but I didn’t let him.

“It will be the best, for both of us, to just not talk to each other anymore. To forget about each other." I was about to burst. Full blown crying fits were about to erupt. I can't handle this. "But Liam... just know that I'll never forget about you and how I felt when we were together." 

"Annie, no please don't do this to me-"

"Goodbye Liam," I whisper and hang the phone up, unplugging the cord so he couldn't call back.

Burying my head into my pillow I let the tears flow freely, my cries of pain muffled. 

There were only a few times I truly hated the fact that I was even born.

This moment trampled them all.

I wanted to tear my chest to pieces, wanted to take out all my frustration out on the one thing keeping me from anything happy. Why couldn't the universe give me a break? Just this once...

If only I'd have known to keep my mouth shut just one more day. 

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Did you like it? Please tell me if you did... tell me if you didn't as well. :) So the next chapter will get her out of the hospital and get things moving!!!! I can't wait!! 

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