he's gone

Imagine waking up everyday and realising that he was gone or that she isn't here anymore. You miss the one that was always by your side. The one you have lost. Maybe you'll find your missing piece but what will happen if you never see him / her again?


25. oh, dear.





The days passed by and it was kind of strange to spent time with Harry and Zayn at the same time. I didn't know how to act like when Harry was around and he didn't seem to care much about me, which kind of made me feel really down because he told me that he was in love with me and now..? He just said 'hey' and 'bye' like nothing ever happened. Ugh, boys.


And now I was sitting at our sofa in the living room and my thoughts were full of the. Again.


Maybe I just should stop thinking about them but it wasn't that easy because they were living right across the street and ... when you tell yourself to stop thinking about something you start thinking about it even more. But I tried to stay away from them and spent some time on my own, but this turned out to be even harder, because when I didn't came over the boys knocked at my door and spent time at my house, so I justed tried to stop talking with Harry and kind of started to ignore him, but how can you ignore him, when he's around you everyday! Oh damn it, everyone would like to change places with me! So many girls would die to spend one day with them, and I do everything to escape from them but I can't that's so .. stupid! Stupid life, stupid me! Ugh!


My thoughts were interrupted by a lightly knock at the door and I sighed, because I knew exactly who was standing on the other side of the door. Yeah, maybe it was just 9 am in the morning, but they were the only ones who wanted to spent Monday morning with me and also they knew I was at home, because we were on vacations and yeah. If this whole situation wasn't that stupid or wouldn't be about me, I would laugh about it, because it was so damn ironic.


I got up and opened the door. 


"Hey, sweetheart." Zayn greeted me and gave me a quick hug, before he followed me into my house.


"What are you doing here?" I asked him and we sat down on my sofa. He was alone. The boys weren't around, so something was wrong..


"Uhm, I need to ask you something. So, uhm, the boys told me that they will only stay a few days longer and then leave, because they want to see their families before our next tour starts. So, I wanted to spent the day with them on my own, because I'm not able to see them the next months."


Zayn said while looking at me. Still everything felt a little bit strange between us. I mean, everything was like it has been, before we started our relationship. My best friend was back and I really liked that fact, but when our eyes met I knew exactly that this wasn't what he really wanted it to be. And sometimes I really couldn't stand all this love in his eyes, it kind of made me feel sad, because I wasn't sure if I could ever love him like he loves me and I didn't want to hurt him, because he still meant the world to me and he'll always be my first love.


I sighed, but smiled at him widely then I shrugged my shoulders


"And?" I asked and raised one eyebrow. "What do you want from me?" I wasn't sure what he actually wanted to ask me. He wanted to do something with the boys. Alone. That was perfectly fine with me, because I wanted to spent time on my own to. So everything seemed perfect, but I already kne that something was wrong. I could see it in his eyes, I just didn't knew what it was but I was going to find out.


"Harry doesn't feel that well. He wants to stay at my house and to be honest he looks really crappy, so I wondered if you wanted to look after him, while we're gone. I mean .. I know that you two are like .. uhm .. friends and the boys and I are really worried about Harry, because he's not that much on talking terms with us."


II looked at him a little bit shocked and I was about to say 'What? Don't you know what happened between us. Believe me I'm the last person he wants to spent the whole day with!' but I stopped myself before the words could escape my mouth. 


"Please." Zayn added, still looking at me with his hazel eyes.


And I could hear the worry in his voice and I really wanted to say 'Yeah, no big deal.' but it was a big deal. And everything inside me screamed no. I couldn't spent the whole day alone with Harry. In the same house. Maybe even in the same room. That would be horrible, because I knew that if we spent like 24 hours together, we had to talk about what happened and he would ask some questions and I was afraid of telling him that I wasn't in love with him, because I clearly wasn't sure about that topic, because I knew that there was a part of me that really wanted to be with him, even through I knew that this wasn't an option.


I sighed and shook my head slowly.


"I don't know if that's a good idea. Maybe he needs some time alone if he doesn't feel well." I suggested and shrugged my shoulders. Liar! Tell him that you're the one who doesn't want to spent time with him. Tell him the truth, Cassie.


"Oh, Cas. I think he would enjoy spending time with you. Maybe he tells you whats wrong with him, so you can help him with whatever and everything will be fine again." He begged me and gave me a little smile but I just rolled my eyes, because if he knew what happened between Harry and me he wouldn't say something like that. He would do anything to keep me away from Harry, but he didn't knew, so he couldn't understand why I wasn't in the mood of spending time with Harry.


"Come on, Cas. Do it for me. For the boys." I was kind of glad that he didn't said do it for harry


I sighed again and then nodded slowly. "Okay, okay, but if it doesn't help, don't say that it's my fault!" I said because I knew that he would be disappointed if I wouldn't do it, because the boys are more than just important to him, and he would do anything to make them feel well, so he doesn't understand it when someone wouldn't do the same.


"You're the best."


He said while smiling at me widely then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into one of his huge hugs, where he puts his whole chin on your shoulder and makes you feel special and save. Zayns hugs are the best hugs in the whole world.


Surely not, I thought and shook my head slightly, before pulling away from our hug. Zayn immediatly stood up and smiled down at me. He offered me one hand, to help me stand up. "So, c'mon. The boys are waiting for me."


"What? You want to leave right now? It's like 9 am in the morning." I said and frowned a little. When he told me about it, it seemed like they wanted to go party. Tonight! And not now. I mean, I was already dressed and I was already awake for some time, but ... why didn't he tell me yesterday. Ugh, boys!


"Yeah, we wanna grab some food and see how far we can get, until we have to drive back home."


I sighed and shook my head. "You boys are a mystery to me!" I mumbled, but took his hand and stood up. Exactly at the moment when my feet touched the floor I let go of his hand again and followed him to our door before leaving the house I turned around once again and yelled: "Mom, I'm at Zayns. Dunno when I'll be back home again. Byeee!"


And with that I left. I didn't wait for her to answer because I already knew that she was fine with me spending the whole day at Zayns, because she loved his family so much and she even started falling for the boys, so it also would be okay, if I had told her that I would spent the whole day just with Harry.


And when I saw the boys slowly driving away and waving at me, I took a deep breath turned around and opened the door to Zayn's house. He told me that his fam would be gone, because they visit some kin of him. I closed the door and turned around just to find Harry staring at me.


"What are you doing here?" he asked in his husky voice.


Oh, dear, this would be an interesting day.



not that good but i really wanted to update, because I couldn't in the last weeks. SO MANY MISTAKES! :o Sorry for that. gosh, my english is getting crappier everyday.

hope u still enjoyed it a little, love you and the next chapter will be so much better because I already know what will happen.

comment and like or there will be no next chapter. (; haha, love u all!

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