he's gone

Imagine waking up everyday and realising that he was gone or that she isn't here anymore. You miss the one that was always by your side. The one you have lost. Maybe you'll find your missing piece but what will happen if you never see him / her again?


17. It's not that easy.

I stood up and we started walking towards Zayn's house. Silence streched between us, but I didn't knew what to say, so I kept silent and walked right beside him. When I looked around I caught a few people staring at us. First I was surprised and didn't understand why but the I remembered it: Maybe they are used to see Zayn, but Harry? Nah, not really.


"That's the part I don't like." Harry said out of nowhere.


I looked at him in confusion but he just kept looking straight ahead.


"Of what?" I asked him and now he looked at me.


"Being famous.", he said while putting his sunglasses down and that was the first time his adorable green eyes met mine.


Those green eyes, I thought, are the reason why so many girls all around the world are in love with him, but not the girls in Bradford. I smiled. Because we know this guy with these breathtaking hazel eyes, that made everybody melt inside, because of the lovely green you can see, when the light is reflected brightly onto the eye and in the shade you see more of the brown pigments of the eye. Oh, Cas, seriously?


Still smiling I looked away. "Getting recognized or being stared at?" I asked him while I kept walking and staring straight ahead.


"Both, I guess." He shrugged and kept talking. "See, I love our fans. Every single one of them. And I also love what I do, because music is my life and I can't imagine doing anything else than singing. And yeah, of course I wouldn't be where I am without all these people who believe in me and support me, so I'm really thankful, but I really hate the fact that I can't make a move without getting recognized by somebody. I don't have any privacy since I'm famous and that pretty sucks, especially in some points." He said and I could feel the truth in his words.


It must be really hard to be famous. Sure, it has its lovely and breathtaking parts, but when you are down, depressed or something like that, you have to share it with the whole wide world. You can't just .. lock yourself in your room and wait til it's over. You get confrontrated with all the mistakes you made and all the flaws you have, every single day and I guess I really couldn't do this.


"What is the hardest part?" I asked while walking, still not looking at him but straight ahead.


"Relationships. No doubt, girls are the most beautiful thing in the world, but you dunno who loves the real you and who loves just the idea of you. Also some girls are pissed when you walk around with them and every five seconds there are screaming girls who tell you how much they are in love with you. I guess, it's hard for them to share their boyfriend with thousands of girls." I laughed a little and looked at him.


A little smile was on his lips and he looked me in the eyes. "But if they really love you, they get along with it, because they want to be with you, no matter what." First he nodded, but then he sighed and shoke his head no.


"Haven't met someone like this yet." He told me and the smile was gone. "The only girls I meet want me to make them famous or run away when they see my lovely fans."


I put my forhead in wrinkles and shrugged. "I'm sorry for that." I said but he just waved it away.


"Don't be. It's not your fault. It's mine. I choose this life and I love it, so I have to live with the consequences." He sighed again and I didn't knew what I could answer to this so again I stayed silent.




After a while I could see Zayn's house. I kept walking but I slowed a little down and finally I just stopped walking while I was still looking at his house. I had at least 30 minutes to prepare myself for this and now I was just standing here without knowing what to do next. 


I sighed and looked at Harry. He stood right beside me and was also looking at the house, but then he turned his head to face me and he said in his husky voice: "I know that this isn't easy, but you really have to do it, Cassie. You want to get it all done and the only way to do it is to walk right through this door."


He looked into my eyes and I nodded slowly. A little smile was on his lips, when he pushed me a little bit forward to make sure I would do it.


We arrived at the door and Harry knocked. Only a few seconds passed by and the one of the boys opened the door. Liam, I guess.


"Oh, this must be the lovely Cassie. It's a pleasure to meet you." He said with a little smile on his lips, then he looked away and just nodded in Harrys direction. Then he went a little to the side so we could get past him into the house.


We walked into the living room and I could see Zayns back. He stood there looking out of the window and again I could feel how all this sadness grabbed me. I turned my head and looked at Harry, but he just nodded and said: "Mate. Look who's here."


Then he looked at me again without saying anything, before he just turned around and left us alone. When I turned around I could see how Zayn slowly turned his head in my direction and when his tired eyes met mine he jumped a little to face me. 


"Cas." He said, sounding a little out of breath.

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