he's gone

Imagine waking up everyday and realising that he was gone or that she isn't here anymore. You miss the one that was always by your side. The one you have lost. Maybe you'll find your missing piece but what will happen if you never see him / her again?

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23. Are you in love with her, Harry?

 

 

Harry

 

I just couldn't take it anymore.

How she looked at him. As if everything was okay.

As if he'd never hurted her. 

 

Sure, Zayn was one of my best friends and a band mate, but he still had hurt her incredibly much. He had ripped her heart out and she just acted like everything was perfectly fine. Why would she do that, huh? Maybe that was exactly what I wanted, when I arrived here with the mates. I wanted Zayn to be happy again. Happy with her. But at that point I hadn't seen her in person. And now ...

 

I sighed and shook my head.

 

It didn't matter what the situation looked like 'now'. It didn't matter what I felt like right now. It didn't matter what we all felt like now. Nothing really mattered at that moment. Well, nothing except for the fact that he did hurt her. In a way he could never undo again or make in any way okay. He kind of broke her trust. He has slandered her.

 

 

How could he do something like that? Had he ever seen her like I did? Couldn't he see what I see in her? Because when he really did see her beauty and all that he wouldn't have hurted her in such a stupid way.

 

Once again, I sighed and continued walking.

 

I hated the fact that I wasn't familiar with this place. That I didn't know where I could go. I just wanted to be back home. It was all pointless. I should never have come here.

 

I took a deep breath and finally entered the park, where Cassie and I met each other for the first time a few days ago. I kept walking to the bench on which she sat. And just after I had sat down, my phone started to ring .

It was Louis and I answered it .

 

"Yes ?"
"Harry, what's wrong? Why did you leave?"

 

Yes, why did I leave? Why did I run away? There was no real reason. At least I wanted to believe this. I didn't want to admit that it was because of .. Because of .. I don't know.

 

"I - I don't know, Lou. I ..." I took a deep breath and started talking again. If there was anybody who was able to understand me then it would be Louis. "Are you alone?", I asked him after a while.

 

I heard noises in the background that got quieter while the time passed by and finally everything got fully quiet and the only thing left I could here was Louis' breath.

 

"Yeah, I'm alone. So what's going on, Harry?"

 

"It's because of ... Because of her. It is ... How can she forgive him so fast, that's bullshit. Doesn't she see how much he hurted her? If he did it once, he'll do it again. She really shouldn't be that close with him again. That's no good at all. I mean, gosh. He's kind of a bad person."


"What?" I could hear the lack of understanding in his voice and immediately regretted my words.


"No, he's not a bad person, but ... anyway.", I said with a sigh, hoping that he understood what I wanted to say.


"Harry, what is this really about? When we were on the way to Bradford, you were totally convinced of it. I mean of the idea of Zayn and Cassie to get back together again. You wanted Zayn to be happy again."

 

"Yes, but.."


"What do you mean with 'but'? There are no 'buts', Harry. That's it. He's happy, okay? So why are you running away? That's all we came here for and we were successful. Where's your problem, Harry? What is all this really about?"


"I don't know, it's just..."


"Is it because of her?", he asked out of nowhere and I froze for a moment. Because of her..?

 

"What's your point?", I asked him, skeptical while biting my lower lip, unsure if I really wanted to hear his next words.

 

"Are you in love with her, Harry?"

 

Was I ... what? I gulped slightly, still pressing the phone against my ear. I really didn't know what to say. I mean, what the right thing was to say. Sure, the best thing I could have said was no, but then I would have been lying.

 

I sighed slightly. No matter how understanding Louis was. How much he knew about me and what a great friend he was, he would never understand the truth. Never. Because when it comes to love ... it's kind of difficult to talk to him. He wants everybody to be happy and Zayn was happy with Cassie and now it seems like he is happy again with her. And I? I shrugged, while thinking about it. I didn't even know her, that was what Louis would say. You don't know her. How can you dare thinking about being with her? 

 

Again I sighed slightly.

 

When I saw her for the first time. When I looked into her damn beautiful brown eyes .. something happened inside of me. In my heart. I didn't walk over to her, because of Zayn. I didn't talk to her, because of Zayn, but I did it, because I wanted to. In that moment I couldn't think about anything in the world, I've ever wanted that much. I just wanted to know if her voice was as beautiful as she looked like.

 

"Harry?"

 

But I couldn't talk with Louis about that. He just couldn't understand it. He would be so damn disappointed in me. Cassie was kind of in love with Zayn, yeah, but the fact that Zayn really loved Cassie was so much more important. He loved her more than anything in this whole damn world. And he knew her all his life and since that he was in love with her. And that fact was just another thing Louis would use against me. You can't ruin this. You can't steal your best mate's girl. There are thousands of girls out there, who would die to be your girl. And yeah, maybe he was right, but that just didn't seem right. It just wouldn't be the same as it would be with her on my side.

 

She wasn't just some girl. She was special and I couldn't just let her go. Even if it was for Zayn. I just needed to know, what she saw in me. I couldn't let the chance of being with someone who truely understood me pass. Someone I felt so close with, even through I only knew her since a few days. That wasn't an option.

 

"Still there?"

 

I sighed slightly and said uncertain "Can you .. Just tell Cassie, that I'm at the place we have met for the first time and that she really needs to come. I have to talk to her." 

 

I heard some noises in the background. Voices. And then there was Louis voice again. Loud and clear.

 

"I have no idea, what you're doing. And we're surely not yet done talking about this whole situation, but I told her. She's on her way."

 

And with this words he just hung up and the only thing I could do was to wait until she had arrived.

 

 

_____________________

sorry for not updating. :(
school started again and i'm already busy, but i hope you like the chapter. it's kind of weird that it's .. uhm .. i would say 'long' and it's just about one topic. it's not really full of information or anything like that ..  that's kind of interesting, isn't it? okay, i'm going crazy and i really need some sleep.
comment and tell me about your thoughts and what you want to happen in the next chapter. ((: i love you guys with all my heart! :) x

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