Lost In the Sea Of Darkness

This is the diary of a bullied girl. Her name is Ivy Danger Devious.She has no one to talk to but she writes everything down in her diary. Everything they say to her, do to her and how she feels. Will things brighten up or will they get worse?


3. 1/9/2010

Dear Diary 

I am so sorry I haven't written in three years. I had lost you until today. You had been shoved in a draw under my bed. Well the bullying has got worse over the years. They have stole my money so when it was lunch time I would have no money and I would starve through the day.At least once or twice a week I would get beaten up. I have scars, cuts and bruises all over my body.I have learnt to hide any I can with make up. Girls call me names because I have had two boyfriends and they cheated on me. But even though they have had more than twenty boyfriends they still call me dirty and awful things for just having two boyfriends in less than three years? My hair is now down to my bottom ribs, its a blonde brown. I wear make up to fit in a bit but I get taunted for it. People say  I have caked it on when I have only put a bit of powder, blusher and one coat of mascara. I now have Facebook  I have added them all. Well big mistake but I was pressured to add them. Each day I come home with tears in my eyes when I check my page. It has about fifty messages telling me I am fat, ugly, a disgrace and more. I have met a few girls, they think I am ok but they know nothing about the bullying because at lunch they have to somewhere. Also I never see them after school but I still get bullied in lessons but they don't notice. They are called Arabella, Delilah, Iris and Angel.They are beautiful and talented. I cant see how I fit in with them? Today I saw my teacher smile at me while I went to walk to the girls changing rooms. He has no clue whats going on. I got inside and there was all the girls that hate me. They smirked evilly. They shoved me and pushed me. Screaming names at me until I fell backwards and hit my head. All I remember is them all gasping and running out.I could remember something warm and sticky on my hair and in a pool around me. It was my blood. The ambulance came for me because the girls told the teacher I had been laughing so hard I fell back and hit my head. I have just got home from the hospital and I found you. Well over the last two or three years I have been depressed and fed up. Mum and dad had been worried about me but they haven't done or said anything to me or anyone else.The teachers they see the bullying. Actually it was right in front of their eyes, they don't tell them off they just watch then walk off. I once walked home with a black eye, a cut lip and other cuts and bruises. I have been through so much pain. I hope it stops when I go to high school next year. I'm seriously looking forward to high school. I have actually given up on hope this year because I feel like I will never be good enough for them.Yes I may have made friends with a few girls just this year but they look like super models. I can't fit in with that. They are way too good for me. Arabella,Delilah,Iris and Angel are always concerned with Lily about me being fed up and depressed but they don't even know that I'm being bullied. They notice the marks,cuts and bruises that are all over my body but they don't ask. When I woke up in the hospital the first people I was them and my family. I actually have friends for once is all I can think. When I was passed out from cutting my head open. I had a memory of when I was in year 4 that I had almost forgot about.Me and my older sister,Christina, went shopping at the town. She was in year nine so she was aloud to go around until half eight and so was I if I was with Christina. It had gone pretty dark at six o'clock but then I remember a man was following so my sister deiced to be smart and shout to him 

"Why are you following us? Eh are you one of those freaks that like to follow girls? Well get lost."

She burst out laughing but the man didn't think it was that funny. Then I remember the feeling of panic when I saw him pull out that shiny silver gun and he pointed it at my sister and a smirk came across his face. I could remember my sisters last words they were

"Ivy run and don't look back. Take my phone and when your far away call Mum and  Dad and tell them we got in a bit of trouble and I might not make it back. Ivy remember I love you dearly and don't forget me. I will always watch over and help you."

I was really young and I didn't know what she meant by that so I ran. There was a loud bang. I heard a small cry. I looked back to see the man looking over my sisters body laughing. I was in tears. I hid behind and watched them as the man slowly walked off into the darkness. My Mum had picked up and I told her what happened while I was crying. I remember how they came sat next to me while my sister laid motionless on the floor. Afterwards my brother had to pick me up and carry me home.I remember how we cried all night about the lost of our older sister. He had whispered to me how he would protect me and he was glad he hadn't lost me too but later that week the girls made fun of how stupid my sister was for saving me and she should have save herself and not me. They would say she was too pretty to die but me being the ugly and fat one should have died not her. You see everyone loved my sister so that made her popular even with people she hated like my bullies. They gave up saying stuff about my sister when they realized that it wasn't effecting me but inside it was. I miss my sister maybe things would be different if she was still here. Anyway I have to go now Arabella,Lily,my other friend I have known since we was babies. She is called Aubree.  Well I got to go with Arabella,Lily and Aubree now. Bye.

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