Lost In the Sea Of Darkness

This is the diary of a bullied girl. Her name is Ivy Danger Devious.She has no one to talk to but she writes everything down in her diary. Everything they say to her, do to her and how she feels. Will things brighten up or will they get worse?

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5. 19/12/2010

 

Dear Diary

Had a such a long week. I'm fed up. They never take a break. Never! They are constantly there taunting me. I've lost quite a bit of weight lately I haven't eaten properly since mum left. I eat half a apple in the morning but then i eat a bit of my tea poke at the rest then leave the table. I could always feel the misery weighing me down. I felt pathetic. A waste of space. I feel like I am drowning but the only thing is I can hear and see everything. Well the other day me and my brother had a fight about the fight he got into on the 3rd. I started shouting at him saying he shouldn't have done it. But then he said he was just sticking up for me. I had shouted back saying I didn't it had only made it worse. Its true the boys he got in a fight with made my life so much more worse at school. He slapped me and pushed me over saying maybe he should join in because i was a pathetic, worthless and stupid little girl that cant stick up for her self and he said I also killed Christina and mum was right to leave me but he should have just left me not him and dad. I was heart broken. I had felt the tears sting my eyes. Slowly one tear had dropped from my cheek. It splashed on the floor like a mini puddle. I stood and ran to my room I remember him chasing me screaming his apologies.I slammed the door. He pounded on the door shouting to let him in and he was sorry. I didn't want to see him at that time. I looked in the mirror. I saw bruise forming on my face. Another one. I curled up up on the bed and cried. When I ran out of tears I heard James crying outside my door. I could hear him saying horrible stuff about him self I felt awful. He may have caused this but he didn't mean it. I opened the door. He ran in crying. Through the sobs I heard I'm sorry I didn't mean it. He picked me up and held me tight and whispered

"Ivy you are all I have left except dad and my few friends at school and they are hardly ever there I can't lose you. Never leave me please. I love you baby sis."

I smiled. He smiled a bright smile that made me feel so much better. I yawned. I was so tired. I hardly ever get sleep. He had frowned a bit and we had a conversation about my sleep. He laid me on my bed and tucked me in bed. I felt so warm and comfy. I could feel my self drifting off. He started to leave. I remember asking him not to leave. He sat down in the chair next to my bed. When he got tired there was a extra bed. He turned the lights out and I drifted into a deep sleep. That's all I remember about the other day. Today I went swimming with Aubree, Arabella, Lily and Delilah, Iris and angel. Well You see with our group when we are together we are all different types of people. Delilah she is so shy and sweet but she can be so funny. Aubree shes the sporty one. She loves to take risks like one when it was icy on a hill she ran on the ice to see what happened she almost fell. I laughed so hard. Arabella everyone says she too small and makes fun of her but just as a joke. So I tell her there just jealous cause she is lovable sized. Iris shes sweet and shy but shes a gossip girl. She gets pressured into so much though I have a feeling shes going to get pressured so much she will change completely but we have had so many great memories we have had so far though. Angel well lets just say shes not always a complete Angel. Shes sweet, amazing, hyper but when you annoy her or start a fight with her you have no chance with escaping with out some sort of effect whether its physical, mentally or it effects your popularity lucky for me she loves me and I have no popularity just hate. Lily, Well I love her so much and everything shes smart amazing and pretty and lovely but at times I feel she has no time for me at all. Mainly her studies and her other friends. Lately things between me and her have been well awkward. We got into a fight my bullies would tease me saying even Lily didn't like me. Telling me she was talking behind my back. Of course stupid me I thought they were true. We fought a lot over every rumor I heard. Now I wish I didn't do it. I miss hanging out with her like we used to. I really do but I cant go back. I will still see her through the others and we will hang out but not like we used. Then there's me. With my friends I am amazingly hyper. Then around others I am kind of what you call shy but not at the same time. I can't defend my self. Anyways we had fun. A girly day. We shoved each other in a lot. I got on Aubrees shoulders. Delilah got on Lily's shoulders. Angel got on Isis's shoulders. Then Arabella was just holding the competitions. We was going to do a one on one water fight. Who ever fell of their partners shoulders first lost. Then the winners would verse each other. Me and Aubree was just about to verse Delilah and Lily. The other three were sat giggling. There legs splashing in the water. Little drops of water flew everywhere. When Arabella screamed at top of her lungs go. It echoed around the baths and then water flew in different directions. Me and Aubree and splashed bell Lily and Delilah in the face. Delilah grabbed Lily's hair to stop her from falling but instead they both went toppling backwards. They came back up then burst out laughing. They dared me to get out walk in slow motion to the over side and I cant get back in no matter how cold then I have to stand near the life guard say bye sexy wink then dive in. So I started to do my slow motion walk. They all were giggling in the water bobbing up and down. I then stood next to a extremely fit life guard. Started talking to him. He was really sweet and nice. My five minutes was up. I let out a sigh. I giggle and said while giggling I say to him See you soon sexy. I give him a flirty wink then dive in. He waved at me and I let out a small giggle and swam back to my friends after we had finished he found me outside, he wasnt a life guard he was the life guards son that had come to work with him and he gave me his number, kissed my cheek and asked me to call him sometime. I was so excited and it was the first time had ever flirted. Well Diary I am going to go I am going out with the girls. Bye I will write when I can

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