What cost does love come at? Martina has to choose wether to follow her head or her heart but one will lead to disaster... Which will she choose?


3. 3.

While laid in bed cuddling up to Dean, My phone rang, it was James.
'Hello babe' I answered.
'Hello baby... just a quick call to let you know I am bout ten minutes away from home... I missed you so I thought I'd come home early for a few days' James replied.
'That’s brilliant... I'll make you a coffee for when you get here' I replied.
'Ok baby... I'll see you soon... love you... bye' James replied.
'See you soon... Bye' I hung up the phone. I felt sick with worry.
'SHIT, SHIT, and SHIT’ I cursed as I crawled of the bed and into the bathroom. 'Dean, James is on his way home, He will be here in ten minutes' I Shouted from the bathroom as I tidied myself up. Dean leapt of the bed grabbed his cloths and ran to his car butt naked. He drove 3 streets away to get changed and made the journey home. I found that quite amusing his fit body running to the car naked. I closed the door and headed to the kitchen, just as I flicked the kettle on the door opened. James walked in a dumped his bag on the floor. 'Hello gorgeous' he chirped as he wandered through to the kitchen. 'Hello baby' I said as I gave him a hug and a quick kiss, then carried on making his coffee. 'Did you miss me?' he said as he kicked off his shoes and headed to the sofa. 'Of course I did... did you miss me?' I asked calmly. 'Yeah I did... are you sure you missed me because for past two times we spoke on the phone you have not said you loved me... you seem a little distant' As he said this a wave of nausea passed over me 'did he know about the affair or is he just generally concerned' I asked myself then replied 'Sorry babe... I've just been really preoccupied with work and the promotion... because I took it, I’m working full time now and I’m not used to it... but of course I missed you' I lied to him. 'Ok baby... just thought I might be losing you with working away all the time... I know my job is hard on you and I’m sorry' he sounded as if he was heartbroken when he said it. Guilt washed over me, I really wanted to tell him about me and Dean but I decided to myself I’ll get the divorce papers first. 'Don’t worry about your job babe... the time apart makes me love you all the more when you are home' I lied to him again, I hated lying but it was the only choice I had. Something inside me kept saying he already knows about me and Dean, when he stood up and came to the kitchen for his coffee, his face said it all. He knew something was wrong. I smiled at him and then said 'I’m going to have an early night so I just going to jump in the shower... I'll see you in bed ok’, 'Ok babe... see you up there' he replied. I could not get up the stairs quick enough, I jumped in the shower in order to wash away and lingering trace of Dean so James would not notice, once I had done I jumped out and headed into the bedroom. James was sat on the bed holding Deans new bottle of aftershave. My heart leapt into my mouth. 'Who's is this' He asked while looking at me as if to say ''you bitch'' 'It’s yours... I saw it in town and I liked the smell of the test bottle... so I picked you one up' I smiled at him and carried on drying my hair. He looked at me with suspicion written all over his face. 'Thank you... sorry... I... erm...I did not mean to sound as if I was accusing you of something' He said with a pleading look. 'Don’t worry about it babe... I thought it would be a nice present for you so I picked it up'. I said reassuringly with a smile.

Once James had fallen asleep I pulled the quilt over my head and texted Dean.

11:02pm Martina - James saw your aftershave and started questioning me! So I said I bought it for him. I owe you one now. We need to be more careful. Love you x
- Message sent -

It was a matter of seconds before Dean texted back.

11:02pm Dean - Maybe you can owe me in a different way sexy ;) lol yeah we should be more careful. How long will he be home for? I miss you all ready love you xx

11:04pm Martina - I like that idea ;) He said a couple of days so I’ll keep you posted but you can see me at work :) I miss you too but I think he knows I’m up to something. He keeps dropping hints. L.y. xx
- Message sent -

11:05pm Dean - Ok I can’t wait to see you again. We can just keep it on the low down, if he keeps dropping hints or if anything suspicious happens, then we can get it over and done with. See you in morning sweet cheeks l.y. xxx

Once we had finished texting I deleted all my messages from Dean so if James happened to look at my phone, he would not find anything. Then I put his number under one of my old friend’s names so he could not find anything. When I woke in the morning James was already up, I wandered down stairs to make a coffee and a couple of moments later James followed. 'Who's Dean?' he sounded angry. 'Who's what?' I asked looking confused. 'You heard me... Who's Dean?' he demanded. 'I do not know what you’re talking about James!' I barked at him. 'In your sleep... You were talking... You said... Dean please keep it secret... so who is Dean?' James shouted at me. 'I was dreaming about that film that I watched other night. One of the characters kept saying Dean please keep it secret... I had it on my mind!' I shouted back at him. 'Before you try to accuse me of being unfaithful... because I know full well that’s what you have been getting at... make sure you have hard evidence first' I snapped at him, he just stood there looking ashamed of himself. I stormed upstairs to get dressed. Once in the bedroom I was nearly sick with guilt and anger because he was right and I had to turn it back on him to make him look bad so that I am in the clear. I felt awful about the situation but I could not back down now, not after what I just shouted at him. Fueled with anger I got myself dressed and stormed back downstairs, as I grabbed my shoes he said 'Where are you going?’, 'I’m going into work early because if I stay here I’ll end up hitting you or something... I don’t appreciate being accused of being unfaithful!' I put my shoe's on and stormed out of the house slamming the door behind me. It was only 7am so it was too early for work, instead I drove to Deans.

I scared Dean half to death when I bounded through his door, he had only just woken up bless him. 'Well this is a nice unexpected surprise' he said with a smile. He made me a coffee as I told him what had happened. After he finished he said 'We will defiantly have to be more careful and you should act normal around him until you have the divorce papers'. Once he had got ready we both set off to work but we took our own cars, the morning went pretty slow. The clock read 11:50am so I had ten minutes before lunch. Dean was on the phone to another department and I was sat there wish the time could go faster so I could go to dinner with my man. A knock at the door startled the both of us, the door opened and Jesse wandered through, 'Martina... there’s someone here to see you' she chirped but before she could announce who it was, James barged through the door with a giant bunch of pink roses in his hand. 'Well this is a surprised... what do you want!' I snapped. Dean ended the call he was on and sat there in silence with sock written all over him. 'I’m here to say sorry M... I really am sorry... I've been a total jerk... I hope you'll forgive me' James said, remorse running throughout his voice. 'Now is neither the time, nor the place... your making a scene in front of my new boss... making me look unprofessional... we will talk when I get home... now go and take those with you' I shouted as I pointed towards the roses. He just looked at me, he looked so upset and I felt horrible, then he turned and walked off without a word. Dean told Jesse to go fetch us both a coffee. After she had left I sat in my chair and sighed, Dean looked at me and said 'WOW... I was not expecting you to do that... are you ok?’; 'Yeah I’ll be fine... I feel awful for doing that... but like you said 'just act normal' so I did' I mumbled.

Once I had pulled into the drive way I dreaded what I may come home to find so I prepared myself as I walked up the path. I opened the door to find the main room and kitchen empty. 'I’m home' I shouted but there was no reply, so I headed into the kitchen to make myself a coffee, that’s when I saw the note and the rose's ripped to pieces on the table. I sat down and opened the note, it read:

Martina, I am sorry for the way I have been treating you since I got home, accusing you of all sorts of things, but the way you acted at your work was awful; I've never felt so hurt. If I’m not home by the time you are, it’s because I've gone for a walk to think about things. Don’t worry about making me any tea, I'll sort myself out when I get home, then we can talk.
P.S. I’m sorry about the Rose’s; my anger got the better of me.

I felt really sorry for him because this was all my doing and if I had been a bit nicer we may have been able to talk when I got home instead of coming home to find this. I got up and chucked the roses and the letter in the trash and made my coffee. It was a little after 8pm when James finally came home. He did not say anything at first nor did I, I had to keep up my act otherwise he would know that something was happening behind his back. He made himself a coffee and came and sat on the sofa across from me. 'I think we need to talk' He muttered, I just looked at him in disgust. 'I'm going to go back to Brazil tomorrow, I’ll be gone around 4 week, this will give use both time to decide what we want whether it be each other or to split up, I hope it does not come to that because I love you and I don’t want to lose you but we have not been right for months so, that’s why I’m going back, I'll not contact you unless you contact me first, I'm leaving here at 4am so I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight' He said, he sounded so hurt. 'I think that’s a good idea' I said so bluntly. 'This gives me the perfect timing to move out and get the divorce papers' I thought to myself. 'Right... I’m going to bed... bye' I mumbled as I headed for the stairs. James sat there, head in his hands and sighed. As I got into the bedroom, I whipped my laptop out and messaged Dean.

08:00pm Martina: I came home and he was not here but he left a note saying he was going for a walk. When he got home, we talked and he said he’s going back to brazil tomorrow and he will be there for a month, in that time we both have to think what we want, meaning whether we want to be together, He knows I’m up to something, it’s written all over his face. This is perfect timing in a way because I can get the divorce papers and take my name off all the household documents and move my stuff out. Its good news for us too, we don’t have to hide. Love you xx

08:04pm Dean: This is going to be easier than we first thought. You can move in with me instead of getting another apartment, we can start it on Sunday if you wish, he will be in brazil by then and I can’t wait to be able to hold you and not have to worry about who sees us. I love you xx

08:10pm Martina: That’s brilliant :) and yeah Sunday will be fine, hopefully this situation will end quicker than we expected. Love you xx


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