Choosing One Direction

Emily, the dancer for One Direction's upcoming tour, has finally made her choice of which guy she wants to be with. As the group starts their tour, all seems well, until scandal arises again. Emily thought the drama was behind her- but what if she was wrong? What if choosing one direction may be harder than she thought?

Sequel to More Than One Direction

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10. Over Again

I have to kiss Niall.
I HAVE to kiss Niall.
I have to KISS Niall.
If I don't, Louis's career is ruined. His career means everything to him.
It's just a kiss, that's it. I can't risk that video and those pictures getting out.
Then everyone will know the relationship between Louis and me was a lie.
Then Ryan will get angry again, he'll have to clear everything up.
But it won't be able to be cleared up- because before it was just implied, now there's evidence.
Damn. I have to kiss Niall.
Once everything processes in my brain, I turn to see Louis's beautiful face snoozing away.
I shake him gently, saying "Lou, Boo Bear, get up."
He lays still, then grabs me quickly and pulls me on top of him.
"Good morning babe," he says before kissing me.
I smile brightly at him, "Hey sleepyhead."
He pulls me tightly to him and squeezes me, "Let's stay in bed all day."
"Can't baby, we gotta concert tonight."
"Ugh, can we at least stay in bed a little longer?"
"I suppose s-"
Before I even get the sentence out, he's turned me over and now lays on top of me.
"Can I ask you a question Em?"
"Of course Boo," I say, running my fingers through his hair.
"When's a good time for you?"
"A good time for wh- OH. I don't wanna talk about this."
"Why not? I'm just wondering."
"Please Louis," I say, sliding myself out from underneath him and walking to my dresser to brush my hair.
"Emily, I'm just wondering. I just wanna know."
"Louis- stop."
"Oh my gosh."
"What?" I can feel the embarrassed tears prick my eyes.
"Are you a-"
"Yes, Louis, and you're free to leave now."
"I had no idea."
"I get it, now leave."
"I can't believe it."
"I get it Louis, leave," my voice is rising.
"You're right, I have to leave."
As soon as he closes the door, the tears flood out of my eyes.
I know putting on make up will be impossible, so I take a hot shower and allow my tears to just flow.
When I get out, I get dressed and do my hair. As I do, the same thoughts keep crossing my mind.
What did I expect, dating a guy like him of course he's gonna want to have sex.
How do I tell him?
I can't tell him, he'll break up with me.
He's gonna break up with me anyway.
I'd rather us break up then him cheat on me.
But now I have other things in mind- my kiss with Niall.
I need to get it over with so I can worry about Louis. I need to find his room.
Once I finish my hair and make up, I call the front desk. Once she sees I'm booked under Paul's name, she gives me his room number and I call him. He tells me Niall's room number and I leave immediately.
His room is a few down from mine, so I walk down there and knock on the door.
Then two thoughts cross my mind-
1) I'm going to have to take a picture so Martina knows.
2) What will this do to Niall?
He answers the door, and when he sees that it's me, he starts to close it again, but I stop it.
I walk inside his room and get a good look of his face. He looks like a mess.
"What do you want?"
I walk up to him briskly, unsure how to approach this, then I do it. I plant my lips on his, then grab my phone quickly and snap a picture. But he grabs my waist and kisses me deeply. He runs his fingers through my hair and it reminds me of all the great times we had before everything went wrong.
He loves me still. And I think I feel something for him too.
I pull myself away from his kiss and sprint away, down the hall, and into my room.
I crash onto the couch and try to push all my thoughts and feelings out of my mind. Then I hear a knock.
Scared it's Niall, I open the door, but instead I'm faced with Louis.
He marches into my room and looks at me.
"Okay, I've been thinking. And I'm okay with you being a virgin, because, ya know, I love you and, well you knew that, but I don't know WHY you are, and then I realized ya know, maybe I don't know you as well as I thought and that scares me, and basically, what I'm saying is, maybe we haven't had enough time to be friends. Maybe I don't really love you because I don't know you all that well, and I don't know. Maybe I just don't. I think we should take a break, just be friends for a little, okay?"
This all hits me hard, and I take a deep breath and try not to cry.
"Okay," I say.
As soon as he's out the door, I'm crying again. But I'm confused as to why. I think I'm mostly angry. That's it, not sadness that he just broke up with me, but anger as to why. Wow, what's wrong with me?
As I continue to cry and question my feelings, I hear a knock at the door.
I open it. It's Liam.
"Oh my, I thought you were crying. Can I come in?"
I nod my head and allow him inside, then close the door behind him.
"I heard you crying and I wanted to make sure you were okay," he says as he sits down.
"Yeah," I try to tell him confidently, but he gives me a knowing look.
"No," I say, giving up, "There's something wrong with me. And I don't want you involved too Liam. I just really need to sort my feelings out right now."
He thinks for a few seconds, then looks at me, "I'm already involved Emily. I still have feelings for you."
I stare at him blankly. I have no words. Then I just shake my head.
"Please leave Liam."
He nods his head in understanding.
He gets up to leave, but then turns back around.
"No Em, I can't," he says, "Not until you tell me what's wrong."
I sigh deeply, seeing no way out of this.
"Louis doesn't wanna be with me because..."
"Because why?"
"Because I'm...a virgin."
His eyes pop open in shock, but then he relaxes.
"Well, did he ask why?"
"No, why?"
"Well, I kinda want to know."
"That's not the point."
"Then what is the point?"
"I don't know. He says he doesn't feel like he knows me."
"He's scared to know you. He's scared that the reason you're a virgin is going to keep him away from you. He doesn't know you, but it's because he doesn't want to."
"That's pretty harsh."
"I'm sorry, I'm sure he cares about you still. He just...really wants to have sex with you."
"Well I'm not having sex with him."
"So there is a reason?"
"Of course there is."
"And what is it?"
"You don't wanna know."
"Okay, but neither does he."
"I get it."
"Are you okay?"
"Actually, yes. I'm mad that he doesn't care enough about me to try to find out. But honestly, I don't care enough about him for it to bother me beyond that.".
And that's when I realize- Louis and I aren't together; I've probably lost my feelings for him. I might still have feelings for Niall. And Liam still has feelings for me.
It's happening all over again.
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