Our freedom flew away

Cassandra 'Cassie' Lightwood and May Scott are two young girls, deeply in love. They only thing ruining their happiness is cancer. While May is facing ALL – Acute Lymphotic Leukemia, Cassandra fights against CC – Colorectal Cancer. Will their fight end right or will it all come to an end before their life is able to start?



2. Feeling blue


Cassandra Arizona Night point of view

When May is allowed to go home, it feels like it's been forever. Even though only a week has passed since she got an infection to whatever the doctor said, it feels like it has been a year. We have to give up our cozy little apartment and trade it for Trudy's big house. One of the extra rooms is build up to be a hospital room where she can spend her last weeks, breathe het last breaths and close her eyes. I don't want her to die, but since her leukemia only got worse, death is inevitable. She can't go home on her own strength, she's grown too weak. In a week, her health was getting worse and worse. We could see her get weaker and weaker. But, today, she'll be coming home. In five hours she'll be here and I will be able to help her for the first time in a week. It's six A.M, but I can't seem to fall asleep, in the room next to me, Danielle is sleeping and in the room above me, Trudy and her husband are snoring. The sharp pain shoots through my stomach, but I don't mind. I know I should say it to someone, report it to the hospital, but for some reason, I couldn't be bothered to do that. Suddenly, my phone starts singing it's ringtone. A strange number appears on the display, and for a second, I don't want to pick up, but I do press the green button.
"Hello." I realize that my voice sounds horrible. I have been crying for three hours, no wonder it sounds raw.
"Hello," May's troubled voice says. " Can you please come over here darling? I'm in pain and to be honest, I don't know if I can take this any longer. The doctor said I could call somebody, so I called you." She's crying. Suddenly, I am wide awake.
"Tell the doctors to give you some morphine, I'm on my way." Without even thinking about it, I pull on my jacket, grab my purse and walk out the door. The bus stops just in time and when he drives off, I am constantly cussing in my mind. Why can't the freaking bus drive faster? Everybody is staring at me and my pajamas, but I don't care. It's May that needs to be thought about, not how silly a girl looks. Minutes pass, but they seem to be hours. After half an hour, I arrive at the hospital and run to her room. The floors are slippery, I am exhausted and my muscles hurt with every move I make, but I don't give a fuck, no, not at all. Normally, I would have taken the elevator, but now, I use the stairs to go to level five – Oncology. Doctors look at me as I run by. I even pass Dr. Dany, who doesn't seem surprised to see me here. He follows me to her room, at a more even and slower rate. As I almost fly into her room, she is still crying.  When she sees me, she reaches out her hands  and I hug her, trying to support her every step of the way.
"Are you okay?' I whisper in her ear. She shakes her head.
"No, I'm not. I'm freaking hurting and they won't give me some morphine."
"Doctor Dany is on his way," I whisper, 'he'll give you some morphine. He'll kill the pain darling. Just hold on for just a couple more minutes, okay?"
"I'll do my best," she whispers weakly. " Thank you for coming."
"It's okay," I whisper. " I would do anything for you, even if you asked me to climb the Mount Everest."
"Did I wake you up? You sounded strange on the phone, and you are still wearing your pajamas."
"No, I was awake. Had a rough night, that's all." As soon as the words were spoken, the doctor walked in.
"Hello, May, Cassandra. I saw you running down the hall, for a cancer patient who is getting weaker, you can run fairly well, that I have to admit. Is something wrong? I'm not used to seeing you here at this hour. You know that it's forbidden to be here at seven A.M right?"
"I know and I'm sorry, but May called me, telling that she was hurting, so I forced myself to come over immediately. The doctors didn't want to give her something to kill the pain."
"Where are you hurt, May?"
"My joints, all of them."
"It's because of the leukemia," the doctor says in an even tone. " It's probably getting worse."
"How much worse will it get?"
"I'm not sure, it might get unbearable, it might be easy to deal with, it really depends on how strong you mentally are, but I'll give you some morphine for now." He got out the room to get the painkillers and left us alone again."
"I don't want it to get worse," she whispers. " I don't want to die." A tear escapes from her eyes and falls to the pillow.
"We don't want you to die," I softly whisper, 'but you'll have to let you one day. You can't keep on battling ALL, not forever. But, you got to keep holding on and don't let go. You have been worse, at least that's what your mother told me."
"Yeah, you're right, I guess I have been. The doctors never told me the same as they told me now though."
"Don't give up, okay?'
"I won't." The doctor walks back in the room, a needle in his hands. Even though she had to learn to live with the needles, she still is afraid of them. Nobody really knows why, not even her mother. Maybe there had been nurses who couldn't find a vein in her arm and hurt her. Maybe. There are so many things that I never got to ask May, so many little things about her that I miss. I can't complete the black and white May puzzle in my head if I don't have those pieces, I will never be able to finish it. No I won't, I think as I grab May's hand in mine and hold it securely as he needle enters the tube put in her arm and the fluid flushes into her veins.
"This should help you feel better soon," the doctor says and smiles. " You might feel a bit sleepy, but you don't have to be afraid. I didn't put the dose up or something. I bet you were tired before I gave you the painkiller."
"Yeah, I was quite sleepy," May says and yawns, 'I might sleep a bit."
"That's a good idea," I say, my voice sounds weak, sleepy. I feel numb; things I hear are coming from a distance. Every word gets stretched out into a dozen syllables. I feel like I'm going to collapse. I can feel myself getting weaker. Tears show up in my eyes. No breath. Even more pain. As suddenly as it came, it disappeared.
"Cassandra Arizona Night, I'm talking to you!' May says and my eyes focus again.
"Oh, sorry. What did you ask?"
"If you would mind laying next to me, I feel cold and want you to warm me up."
"Okay," I say and lay next to her. I'm not much warmer than she is, but yet she seems to relax as we both drift off into sleep.

We both wake up as the doctor walks in, at first he seems surprised, but then he smiles.
"You know we can't really allow that, as a hospital," he says, 'but I won't tell the others about it. Are you excited to go home, May?"
"Yes, absolutely," she says and smiles her heartwarming smile; my favorite. " I can't wait to be home again. I have missed them all, my parents, friends, daughter and my fiancée, even thought the most of them visited me frequently."
"I can understand that," the doctor says, 'let's give you a quick check up, shall we?' As the doctor helps May in a wheelchair and drives her off, I start packing her stuff. She hasn't brought with her, only a couple of books, her mp3 and a picture of the three of us; May, Danielle and I in the playground. She looks healthier on the picture, so do I. Danielle looks young. That was the day before it all got serious, before I started to feel worse. Before I was dying for the first time. In my history, I have been so weak that I could almost touch my grave, but I got back every time. I got stronger. Yes, fighting was hard and I did want to die a couple of times, but I fought back and survived. Now it was May's time to do the same. A thought crossed my mind, what if she didn't want to get better? She had been fighting for a long time and she had fought the same battle for two times now. Before, bone marrow was an option, it could help her, but now, it wasn't anymore. Maybe she was tired of living this way, constantly being scared that the leukemia came back. Maybe, dying seemed like a good way to get rid of this mess. May came back, a wide smile on her face. She shoved back in bed and told me to come and sit next to her.
"Guess who's allowed to go home," she asks me, not expecting an answer. " Yes! It's me." I haven't seen her this cheerful since she got in the hospital and we all missed it, we truly did. She looked beautiful smiling. Like she could conquer the world and defeat every demon that crossed her path. She looked like she could battle leukemia and win. That is how I will remember her when she's gone. Like a girl who was always smiling, a girl that could conquer the world, a girl who won my heart. Everything what happened makes me think of something. How can Danielle ever remember her mother? She is only six years old, going on seven and there were almost no pictures of May, of us as one big, happy family.
"Cassandra, we should take some pictures soon. I want to be able to make an album, filled with pictures." May says as if she can read my mind.
"That's a good idea, I was thinking about it. We can make a couple of pictures later today. It's quite warm outside and Danielle won't mind to go on the picture with you."
"Okay," she says and smiles. " You've packed my things!"
"I sort of knew you would be able to go home," I say and smile. Her eyes are brighter than they have been in a while. I love her so much more than I have ever loved my past girlfriends. When she's gone, I am going to miss her. More than a dried out flower misses the water. I can't see me living without her, not anymore. Chelsea was furious when she found out I dumped her for someone else. I never told her I was sick and I still haven't. She doesn't need to know. When she asks, I will tell her, but not sooner. Suddenly, my phone starts ringing for the second time in about six hours. I already have six missed calls from her, from Chelsea. Is she out of money again? Does she need something to pay her coke or cigarettes from?
"Cassandra Arizona Night speaking," I say and hold the phone to my ear.
"Hi Cassie! It's me," she says, 'I was wondering if you moved. I wanted to pay you a visit, but I haven't found you at your apartment."
"Yeah. We're moving to May's mom's house." My voice sounds calm and distant. No, I don't need to have a
"Oh! Why's that?"
"May is too weak to live alone and I'm too weak to take care of her."
"I didn't know you were sick, is it serious? What's wrong with May?"
"We have cancer." My voice sounds cold as ice, almost like I'm one of those stupid man at the bank, telling me they won't give me money, because my life isn't ensured. Assholes.
No," she whispers, 'it's impossible! Have you had it for a long time?"
"Almost a year and a half," I say and stare blankly at May's eyes. They look worried somehow.
"Is that why you broke up with me? Because you have cancer?' she asks me, her voice rising. " You shouldn't have lied to me! I wouldn't have let you down."
"Yes, that's the reason. Because I don't want to hurt you. At the time, May was just an excuse to make you feel better. But now it's the truth. I am in a relationship with May. We're engaged."
"That's nice to hear. How is she?"
"Not good, I say. " She won't get better anymore. Her body is weak, she's getting worse every day." My voice sounds tick, filled with tears. I never liked telling the truth, not with May in the same room. She takes my hand and squeezes it. My bones are fragile and that's probably one of the reasons she doesn't squeeze hard.
"It's okay. Tell her, it's the truth."  May whispers softly. I nod once.
"I'm so sorry!' she says. "  I want to come over. No, I may not know May, but I want to be there for you and for her."
"You don't have to. It's okay."
"No it's not. I haven't seen you in ages. When can I meet you?"
"I'm in the hospital at the moment, but I should be home around two PM. Meet me at her parent's house. That way, you and May are able to meet each other." I give her the address and after a friendly goodbye, I hang up the phone. May asks me about it, but I say I don't want to speak about it. If I do, I will cry.
"Chelsea will be at your parent's home when we get there," I say. " She's my ex, so prepare. She's glad I am happy, so you don't have to be afraid." May nods once and presses a kiss to my dried out lips. Why is she still kissing me? My lips must feel like the tops of a rock. Dried out and completely chapped. Suddenly I come to the realization that she doesn't mind because hers feel exactly the same.
"We should both consider some chopstick," I say and smile. May does too. Her eyelids close and open again. Check-ups always make her feel tired. 
"We probably should," she says and kisses me again. Our lips only separate to breath. " But I don't give a damn."
"Nor do I," I say and put my hands on Mays fragile upper arms. She's my wounded bird I have care of and I do it with all the love in my heart. My heart beats faster and faster.
"We aren't going to make out in a hospital are we?' May says chuckling and pulls back.
"Let's save that for later, shall we?' I ask her playfully. Her smile widens.
"That sounds good she says and we both lay down, close next to each other, hands woven together.  I didn't realize it was already ten AM until Danielle and Trudy walk in.
"Hello momma! Hello mommy," she says enthusiastic and kisses us both on the cheeks.
"We already though you would be here. She heard you talking to May through the phone." Trudy smiles and lays her coat on the end of the bed.
"Mom, would you mind taking pictures of me and Cassandra with Danielle?"
"Of course not! Do you have something to take pictures with?'
"I have my camera in my purse," I say and point at the white purse next to her. " It's the small purple one." She takes it out and takes a couple of pictures. All three of us, another one and another. Knowing that when May has passed, there will be pictures of her comforts me. She'll still be here when her soul has left the earth.
"When are you coming home mommy?' Danielle asks bites her thumb. " I wish you were home already. I missed you."
"Later today. Probably in an hour or two."

We spend another hour talking. Trudy only leaves once, just to grab a cup of coffee from the machine in the hallway. I warned her that the coffee was undrinkable, but she told me that she could drink anything right now. At the moment, she is returning from the machine, a dark blue cup filled with a dark brown watery fluid inside of it; something that looked like coffee, but tasted like water.  May is feeling cold, dark veins painted her light blue skin, decorated it with curly patterns.
"Welcome back," May says and smiles at her mother. May seems stronger today. The thought crosses my mind and I have no way to stop it. It was the truth tough. I'm not the first to think it, Danielle and Trudy both said it before. All may said back then was that it was possible and she actually felt better. We have to believe her, there is no other option. May has always masked her pain, her fears and insecurities. Everybody would be afraid to die, but it seemed like she wasn't. As if she would greet death like an old friend and embrace it, tell it she had missed him and should've come earlier. At the same time, I feel so powerless. I can't help her fight her battle against ALL, I just can't. Yes, I can fight her daily battles, but that's how far I can go.
"You are distant today," May says and softly hits my arm. " Is something wrong?"
"No, not really." It's a lie. So much is going on, that I can barely handle it. Yes, I can fight the darkness and the demons, but why should I? May will leave and my sun will be gone, forever.

May Scott point of view

My fiancée looks at me, her bright, big eyes filled with tiredness. I want to kiss her, press my chapped lips on hers en make her pain go away, but I can't. Cassandra had been distant since Chelsea called, as if whatever she had said made her think of something.  Yes, I want to know why, but I don't ask her. She'll tell me when she's ready. All she told me that her ex was coming over by the time I got home and I don't know what to think about that. While my doctor signs a paper to set me free and hands it over to my mother, Cassandra helps me into my wheelchair  even though her strength is fading from her arms, but, I'm so heavy as I used to be and ninety lbs is quite easy to lift.
"Mommy, can I sit on your lap?' Danielle asks and looks at me, bouncing up and down in the most energetic way I have ever seen.
"Of course darling," I answer her with a smile and she climbs up my lap. I wonder if Johnah will be there when I get home, I haven't seen him in so long. Mother thinks he doesn't want to see me weak, fragile. He is my brother after all, brothers care about their little sisters. My mother pushes me forward and Cassandra walks next to me, her hands in mine. A couple of nurses have said goodbye to me. Some of them, mostly the young ones, said they hoped not to see me again, which was sweet. In some situations it might have been a cruel thing to say, but it isn't when you are leaving a hospital. At that moment it's like saying see you soon when you say goodbye to your friends. I don't really have much friends left. The most friends I made died because of their cancer. Now it's my turn to do that and I face that with open eyes. Come on, death, come and get me, I'm ready. No, that's not a lie, I'm ready. For others, it would be a scary thing, but why? I have seen it happen so much times, seen the light disappear from their eyes. Of course, my thoughts about it might change when I'm really dying, but I can't see why it would do that now. Right now, I'm strong. I'm the one who they thought would be dead by now. When the doctors told me that I had cancer, they immediately told me what I was facing, how hard I would  have to fight and I wouldn't even get older than twenty-five if I was lucky, but look at me! I'm twenty-six and alive. Considering everything that has happened in my life and everything that is going on, I'm quite happy, in love and engaged to the most beautiful girl in the world. I have a daughter, a family that loves me. Yes, I consider myself as a lucky one. One thing I would probably never hear, the three words everybody wants to hear: you're in remission, but I have lived my life and to be honest and at the moment, I'm tired of fighting this demon that'll kill me anyway.

My mother rolls me to her car after she has got the permission to take me home. At first, she wants to lift me into the car, but I tell her I want to try and get in the car myself. Cassandra walks next to me and supports me, but I do it myself. A smile covers my lips as I get in the car. I feel proud, prouder than I ever have, proud for a thing so small. Cassandra sits next to me and Danielle next to her.  It feels so strange, but yet so common, as if we have done this a thousand times.
"Are you excited to go home?' my father asks as my mother walks off to bring the wheelchair back. Mine is standing at home.
"Yeah," I say, my voice sounds stronger,'I can't wait to be home again." He smiles and drives off as my mother steps in the car. Music is playing, but I can't figure out which song it is. Maybe it's new, all I know is that I don't like it. My mother seems to like it, because she is singing along. No her voice isn't the best, but seeing her so happy makes me feel happy to. My head leans on Cassandra's and her hands are woven into mine. I wish I could make them sit there forever and ever and ever. I never want to let my angel go, never.

When we reach our home, it's about one PM and the sun is standing high on the sky, spreading his warmth for everyone who wants to feel it. Even though most people consider this temperature rather warm, I still feel the chill in the air and I'm sure that Cassandra feels it too. Yes, I am happy to be home, but still there is the feeling of disappointment when my eyes scan the environment and Johnah is nowhere to be found. The bastard promised to come! Mom parks the car and dad goes inside to get the wheelchair, Cassandra unzips Danielle from the seatbelt and after that she helps me get out. I admire her for the strength she has, how she always helps everybody, except for doing something for her own health. I see she is tired, but the look in her eyes make me keep my mouth about it.
"Welcome back home little sis," a low voice says and I turn my head. Johnah is here, he made it. With a wide smile on my voice I turn around and give him a hug. He has grown, looks more like a man.
"Johnah!' I can't seem to hide my enthusiasm. His eyes shine bright. Behind him, his wife is standing with a tiny baby in her hands. I have missed so much. They didn't even tell me she was pregnant, or maybe they didn't get the chance to tell me. Probably the second thing.
"Hello May, you look good," her soft voice says. " Have you gained since I last saw you?' Of course I did. Last time she saw me, my life was about to slip away from me. I weighed about eighty lbs, almost every bone in my body was visible and my leukemia was worse than ever before. Because of a bone marrow I got better, at least for a while.
"Yes," I say, smiling and untangle me from the hug, walk over to Elisabeth and the tiny baby in her hands. " It has been a while since I saw you and everything is going better. You seem to have lost a bit more than the baby weight." She's beautifully thin, not boney but with a bit curves.
"A bit," she says with a smile on her face, 'but I'm not planning on losing more. This is enough. Have you met Sarah?"
"Not yet, hello little Sarah," I say with a smile and rub her little belly. Sarah looks at me with big, chocolate brown eyes, confusion visible. " I'm your aunt and I am going to spoil you!' A laughter breaks loose from the crowd behind me and I turn my head.  My mother rolls the wheelchair towards me and I sit down in it. It wasn't quite comfortable, but it was alright.
"Let's go inside."  Everybody follows her and so do I. We take a seat and mom lifts me into the sofa, laying a blanket over me to keep me warm. Cassandra sits close to me; her cold hands in mine. Everybody glares at the white ring around her fingers, but nobody asks. Yes we are engaged, I want to scream, but I don't. We won't even be able to marry, so why should I tell them? Little Sarah lay on Cassie's lap, smiling up at her. She was good with children, it's a shame that we won't even be able to raise them.  Johnah and Elisabeth looked at their little darling, a proud gaze in their eyes. They must really love their kids. It's not until now that I notice Riley is in the room with them. He seems scared, the look in his deep brown eyes betrays him. Softly, he whispers something in his mothers ear and after she nods, he heads over to me. His arms embrace my fragile body and he presses a kiss against my boney cheeks.
"I hope you get better, I will miss you if you don't," his strong voice whispers and he heads back to his mother. For a still unknown reason, I couldn't do a thing but look amazed. Did he really just say that? My tiredness returns and I put my head against Cassandra's shoulders. She puts her hands around my shoulder and pulls me closer.
"If you want to sleep, you are allowed to, it's okay." Her voice sounds weak in my ears, distant. I drift off to sleep, going to another dimension, free from all pain.

Cassandra Arizona Night point of view

May's sleeping deeply against my shoulder, but I don't mind. She's not that heavy, but I'll have a bruise anyway. My stupid skin bruises way to easily. The 'grown-ups' are talking about their jobs and May's cousin stands up to sit next to me and May.
"Hi," he says softly and eyes his sister. " She seems so calm now, about an half an hour ago, she was crying quite loudly."
"Yeah, I seem to have calming effect on babies," I say and take Sarah's tiny hand in mine.
"How is May doing? She seems weak."
"I'm not completely sure," I say, doubt clear in my voice. Should I even tell him is niece is going to die?
"I know I'm young," he says firmly,'but you can tell me the truth. I'm sick of people hiding everything for me like I'm two. I'm twelve, I can handle it."
"Okay, but you've asked it yourself. She'll die within this and three months. Her leukemia is getting worse and she'll probably won't even be awake much for a couple of weeks, one day, she'll die in her sleep." My voice sounds like it's about to break and my heart feels like it's about to shatter in a million tiny pieces, but I do my best not to show it to the young boy sitting next to me.
"Oh, god." He whispers and a tear rolls down his cheeks. Many others follow. " I knew everything was going bad, but not that bad." What have I done? I lift up my arm and wipe a tear from his cheeks. I don't want to make him upset, not at all.
"Shh. She'll be better off dead. It may seem like it's a cruel thing to say, but alive, she's in pain, when she's gone, she'll be happier." He stands up, walks over to the stroller and puts his little sister in it, who has fallen asleep and wipes the last tear from his cheek.
"I know she'll be happier dead, but why does it have to be her? She is the sweetest niece I can ever imagine I'll have. I grew up with her, but I can't see her die as young as she is. She's just a young-adult for Christ's sake."
"I know, you're not the only one who loves her. I can't really seem to imagine a life without her, but we'll have to let her go."

We spent an hour talking about May and what happened to her. Trudy left the room for a couple of minutes about ten minute to put May in bed. She could lift her up like she weighed not more than ten pounds.
"We have been talking about May for a long time, but what about you?' Riley suddenly whispers. " You have cancer yourself and a friend from May is a friend of mine. Most of the time. Since you guys are like, engaged and I like you, I care about you too. How are you doing? You aren't about to die like May, are you?"
"No, not that I know of," I say softly,'but the doctors don't tell me everything. Let's see what the chemo does." A faint smile covers his face.
"I am glad you are feeling okay somehow."
"I am too," I say softly,'but if I had to choose, I would be the one who is dying."
"Don't say that Cassandra," a new, soft voice says. I look over and see that May is sitting in her wheelchair, rolling over to us. She must have woken up when her mother put her in bed, which actually wasn't really planned, but was good somehow.
"May's right," Riley says and looks with a bright smile to his niece. " Hi May, did you have a good nap?"
"Yes, thanks for asking." A smile covers her face, a smile I haven't seen in so long. A smile I missed. " Leave my fiancée alone, will you? She's mine." Her voice sounds teasing and the smile on her cousins face becomes even brighter.
"I might steal her from you though."
"Oh, no you won't." She rolls over to us and laughs as she tabs Riley on the upper arm. " Where is Sarah?"
"She's sleeping," I say with a smile and point to the grey stroller next to her.
"Okay, so I wasn't the only one," she says and smiles nervously.  'You were sleeping too little sweetheart." I hear Sarah's soft laugh and two tiny arms reach forward. May picks her up and lifts her onto her boney legs. She looks happy.
"We'd better get going," May's brother says and stands up. " We have a long way to drive."
"Okay," May says, smiling,'it was nice seeing you. I have missed you."
"We'll stop by soon," Elisabeth says with a smile,'Riley seems to like you and your fiancée a lot and Cassandra Arizona seems to have a calming effect on Sarah."
"She's good with children."

As we say goodbye, I think about what Riley had said earlier. It makes me think about so many things that I haven't even thought of. How will Danielle deal with all of this, after her mother passes away, after I pass away. Her life will change so much, she'll lose so much. Growing up isn't easy and losing the one you love the most, your mother to cancer isn't exactly the thing a child looks forward to. Chelsea texts me that she won't be able to stop by because her boss called and I don't actually mind not seeing her. May doesn't seem to do so either.
"Momma! Mommy!' Danielle screams and runs in. She just got back from the playground with Trudy and is completely exhausted and sweaty.
"Hello little skittle! Did you have a good time on the playground?' I ask and give her a kiss on the cheek. May does the same.
"Yes!' she says and kicks out her shoes,'but all sweaty!"
"Why don't you take a long, warm bath? You can play with the ducks!' May says enthusiastic and takes one of the three rubber ducks from the shelves behind her, pretending she can make a duck's sound. Danielle laughs and hugs her.
"Good idea," she says with a smile and rushes upstairs, pulling Trudy with her. May is quiet for a while, but then, she suddenly turns to be and starts speaking.
"Cassandra? Why are we even engaged? It's not that I don't want to marry you, but  we have so little time left, isn't it foolish to spend a lot of money on a wedding when we should be planning a funeral?"
"We shouldn't be planning a funeral," I say, my voice sounds weird, but May doesn't seem to mind. " I don't care about the little time left thing. We can't battle nature's wishes, but we can at least make the time that is left for us as comfortable  as possible. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else and I want you to become my wife, so I can tell everybody how I lost my wife, but she won't ever disappear out of my heart. I can't see why we shouldn't marry."
"Okay," she says, convinced,'we'll marry.'

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