Girl Heart Boy - If I Had Known

**Runner up for the Girl Heart Boy competition** If I Had Known it would end like that, I would have changed myself dramatically. I wouldn't known for dating a different boy every week and leaving them as if nothing had happened. But I only know now... and "now" is too late. (Written from Ash's perspective).

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1. If I Had Known

(Ash)

If I Had Known it would end like that, I would have changed myself dramatically. I would no longer be known for dating a different boy every week and leaving them as if nothing had happened. But I only know now... and “now” is too late.

 

  I gave one last supportive glance at Sarah who was now walking off to find Joe then I turned around to the hottie in front of me.

  “So how come I haven’t seen you before?” giving him my famous smile that seemed to give me instant flirting points when I was around guys. 

  I found having a conversation with Will surprisingly easy. It was almost strange, as most guys I knew just talked about themselves, as if they were the only interesting topic. But he was actually interested to what I said and he looked at my eyes without glancing down at my top.

  Will was different, but I liked that.

  I edged closer, deciding that maybe I should give Will a shot (he seemed like he would be a pretty good boyfriend to me). But for some reason this didn’t have much of an effect on him, which I admit surprised me a little. The conversation continued pretty much as it was before. I sighed to myself; maybe he wasn’t single?

  Despite the likeliness that he already had a girlfriend, I couldn’t help glancing towards his mouth thinking Damn I’d love to kiss those lips. Then at his shirt which stretched over his abs, thinking Damn I’d love to touch that body.

  “I’m going to see my other mate over there,” he said after a while gesturing to someone behind me.

I nodded, feeling a little bit disappointed. Oh well. There were loads of guys at the party anyway.

I almost jumped, noticing how close his lips were to mine. Wow, that was unexpected.

   He whispered, “I’ll see you around, gorgeous,” making be flush a vibrant shade of red.

What was happening?! I never blushed!

I prayed he never noticed as he walked back to his friends who were chatting and laughing. Then I scanned the crowded room in search for something to do without glancing back at Will and his friends who I knew were pointing at me and talking. It was almost awkward for me as I stood by myself, knowing fully well that they were still staring and that they realised I was on my Larry. I started getting desperate for something to do so that I didn’t look like some sad loner.  

  As I drank some Strong Bow (pretending that it tasted nice when really it was foul) I spotted Sarah and Joe who were whispering and giggling together, Sarah’s cheeks had flushed bright red. I couldn’t help smiling; they were so sweet together… like they were always made for each other.  Watching them made a conversation I once had with Sarah flash in my mind. It was one of those pointless times of life that seemed to just stick in your memory. We were having one of our long chats that started off normally about clothes or boys then ended up being about something completely random like what teachers really got up to when they left the room or were we really in another life and this was just a dream? And somehow we ended up discussing soul mates. For some reason Sarah believed in that stuff. Obviously, I didn’t. When you found someone you liked you might fall in love but you weren’t destined to be with each other.

  Although, as I sat (admittedly by myself) I thought, How do I know that?

 

  As I stood watching her chatting and laughing with Joe I repeated our conversation over and over in my head.

 

  “Hey again.” A gentle voice said from behind me.

  I smiled, “Hi.”

  Will gave me a friendly smile and said, “Do you want to go outside?”

  I nodded, unable to think of something to say.

  I wobbled as we stepped out on the porch, but he grabbed me quickly before I fell, “whoops!” he laughed, “Do you want to sit down over there?”

  I nodded again and we headed towards the old bench that the garden plants had started to take over. We sat down and he talked again although this time I was quieter. I was nervous - something that was impossible to believe.

  “Are you okay?” He asked, in concern, “You seem quiet.”

  “I’m fine.” I replied reassuringly.

  He edged closer, “you’re hot, do you know that?” He said, looking deep into my eyes.

  I blushed again, although this time I didn’t care.

  Then we kissed.

  I could have easily have said that was my first kiss. Despite being kissed a countless amount of times before, it was the first time I had ever felt something real and passionate and where every part of me felt like it was on fire. I never wanted to stop; I wanted to continue kissing him forever.

 

 So this was what love felt like.

 

   When we slowly moved apart, I smiled at him. But I was returned with a smirk. A smirk a childish schoolboy would have when they had gotten you into trouble with the teacher; an immature, cruel sort of smirk.

  “They’re right, you are a good kisser.” He grinned.

  “What?” I puzzled in confusion. What was he talking about?

  “Don’t worry. I’m going now…” He got and left me on my own on the bench. What I heard afterwards was distant but unmistakable, “…yeah she is a slut.”

 

Every part

of me

shattered.  

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