Rimmington: Better Than Sliced Bread ( A Love Story)

Once upon a time, dear reader, there was a place called Runescape. And in this land, there were many great cities with their own little histories and their heroes, and their who-di-nannies and their wot-nots. This isn't about them. This is the story of Rimmington, the greatest city that Runescape has to offer.


3. The Three Avocados

Eventine: Do you know where these artifacts are?

Dmitri: Well. I know where one of them is. It is currently in my protection.

Eventine: What about the other two? Can I find them?

Dmitri: They are lost.

Eventine: I'm good at finding lost things! Do you have any clues to where they could be?

Dmitri: Well, I can give you the history of them. Once upon a time there were three Avocados...

Eventine: I thought we were talking about artifacts..


Dmitri: Stop interrupting. Anyway:

It is legend, or maybe fact, that once upon a time there were three Avocados. They were three brothers who were also princes in a land long forgotten, or never existed. It so happened that each prince had his own special gift or talent that many humans don’t have. One prince could copy other people’s abilities, whether it be singing, dancing, or any activity that required skill that he himself did not posses. He was the eldest prince, and his name was Avocado et Speculum.  

The middle prince was named Avocado et Latro. He grew up in jealousy of his older brother’s ability because he himself could never do anything that Speculum couldn’t copy. He felt that he could never do anything that could impress his father, King Draco, because Speculum would just copy it and make it seem like no big deal. But that jealousy grew and flowered into Latro’s own unique power: the power to take abilities.  He could steal anyone’s talent for a time and let his own natural talents shine. He could finally impress his father without his copying brother.

  Finally the youngest brother, Avocado et Servo, developed his own ability. Being the youngest, he was picked on the most, and his brothers would use their powers to be especially ruthless to him. Despite this, Servo still wanted to be close to them. His determination developed into his own unique ability, that of protection. It nullified his brother’s powers towards him, and stopped anyone from hurting him if he desired. Now he could be as close to his brothers as he wanted, but this later turned into an abandonment problem.  

The three brothers kept themselves in check, but that didn’t stop them from using their powers on the poor townsfolk. King Draco was upset by this, so he called them to him so that he could give them all a punishment. They were to shed off their powers and go forth into the world and look for special items. They had taken their powers for granted and abused them, and now they would have to adventure without them for a while.

  A witch by the name of Lamia et Noctua was summoned to the castle, and she placed their powers into three objects for safekeeping:  a looking glass that belonged to the queen, a golden ring that belonged to the king, and a teapot that had unknown origins. Their powers would be returned to them once they had completed their missions.  

The eldest brother had been sent to the northern ice lands to find the ice giant and retrieve its club. Avocado et Speculum either froze to death, or was eaten by a snow leopard, this part of the story gets a little lost in translation.  

Avocado et Latro was went to the southern jungle to find the Giraffe King and take his septre. This brother was eaten by a passing llama  

Avocado et Servo was sent to the eastern desert to find an elusive anteater. Of course, he was sent on this mission alone. He was miserable and terribly scared. He just got lost in the middle of the desert and dried up bitter and lone, eaten away by his own grief until not even a fly would grace him with its presence.  

From her own home in the east, Lamia et Noctua sent three owls to spy on the brothers and report back to her on their progress. Once she found out they all were dead, she hired a clever fox and a gardener to go into the castle and steal the three objects of power so she could have them for her own.   As fate would have it, she was never able to have all three objects at the same time. These objects were constantly stolen, and the fox and gardener turned out to be a little less and loyal. Soon mongooses (mongeese) and squirrels got into the mix and these objects were spread far and wide.  

No one person in the history of the L.E.M.O.N.s ( Lacto Equum Modus Offero Necesse) ever had all three at once. Lamia et Noctua predicted that whoever possessed all three could either bring chaos to the world unopposed, or prevent it. She discussed this with one of her seer friends, Seer Turnip, who said that one day a hero would come around and have all three lemons and set a chaotic world into order again.

  Lamia et Noctua had to stop this at all costs.  


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