My Poems

These are all the poems I have written since 2001.

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7. The Year 2011

 

Choose - November 12 2011

 

Racing against the clock

But I’m running in place

Can't escape the hell

That has my brain entrapped

Negative thoughts encircling

Every moment of my life

Stroking the emotional pain

The pain I cannot pinpoint

For all the years in my life

I regret them all

Could I have done more?

I want to let go

Feel the freedom from the thoughts in my head

If I could go back in time

And change anything to make me happy

Is there anything I could change?

What is that magic moment that could alter my life?

Why do I feel this way?

Why do I want everything to end?

Nobody can help me

Nothing has helped quell these feelings

They may subside for a time

But they always resurface

Stronger and more persistent than the last

There is nothing in this world that I want

I have accomplished everything I believe is possible for myself

In the end it will all mean nothing

Living just to die

And I believe we should be allowed to choose

When our time is up

Who better than you

Knows when you've accomplished what you have been sent here for

My time is now

But I’m told its not my place

So as I sit and bide my time

I jot down these thoughts

In some sort of prose.

 

I Believe - November 12, 2011

 

I believe in nothing more

Or nothing less

There’s nobody left to impress

The sun comes up

The sun goes down

The world still spins

round and round

No matter if I’m here

Or if I’m gone

Everything keeps going on

 

Time For Me To Die - November 12, 2011

 

I have tried so hard

To keep these feelings inside

Its become harder and harder

With each little push

I don't know what causes them

I just want them to end

The voice in my head

Telling me ways to die

Some painful and other painless

Who would care if I was gone

If anyone did, then why

I have lived a full life

Its time for me to die

My children have a mother

They have no need for me

I have done all I can

For myself and my family

We have gone our separate ways

Its time for me to die

As I write these words

The thoughts run rampant in my head

As long as I keep writing

I know I’ll do no wrong

And once I’m done

I know i'll be alive

But in the end

Its time for me to die.

 

Jumper - November 12, 2011

 

Its the same thoughts

Just a different day

No calm before the storm

The impact is sudden

The pain intense

The jolt of energy down the spine

Its the last feeling

You feel alive

As you lay there

Eyes wide open

Staring into the cloudless sky

Crimson flows from your ears, eyes, nose and mouth

The empty feeling is gone

The pain has finally subsided

Your last wish finally answered

You have ended this misery

This misery known as life.

 

A Mouthful - November 12, 2011

 

Oh sweet and bitter taste

How I enjoy the taste of it

That sticky feeling fills my mouth

A smile that's never formed

Its to much to swallow all at once

I don't wish to spit in out

But the deep red color

Seeps from between my lips

I cannot hide it anymore

I cannot speak to you

The actions I have taken

You would care less

Just like the others

I close my eyes only for a moment

Yet it turns out to be an eternity.

 

Tattoo - November 12, 2011

 

My skin burns with desire

For your stinging touch

The pain is immense

Yet the pleasure overwhelming.

 

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