Butterflies

Robyn's just been dumped.

To be honest she saw it coming, he'd done it before, she just believed it was her lot in life to continually deal with it.

But things are changing, Robyn's opening her eyes and starting to realise that her life isn't as mapped out as she once thought. Fate has something interesting in store for her. But is she ready for it?

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent- Eleanor Roosevelt

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10. Halfys

 

'Aw how touching' A voice I'd recognise anywhere sneers at us. Annoyed that if anything had to break one of the best moments of my life it had to be him, I look away from Ethan and stare into the angry ice-blue eyes of my ex-boyfriend. Funny how Ethan's eyes are also blue but a calmer, warmer more welcoming shade. I wonder if eye colour effects personality? I know I should be concerned at Leo's sudden reappearance in my life but at this moment I'm far too happy to care. Nothing he says or does can hurt me anymore. I smile down at Leo without thinking and this seems to fuel his rage.

 

'So you left me for that animal in your arms did you?' Leo practically screeches at me. I pull back startled, shocked at the loss of his trademark indifference. Immediately, I'm on the attack:

 

'You left me Leo, I just walked away from your pathetic reasoning of it!' I shout. Ethan squeezes my hand and I look into his eyes once again and calm down marginally. 'Anyway, you did me a favour' I tell Leo while smiling at Ethan.

 

I hear a primal screech underneath me and looking down I see Leo flying up to us. Flying! With grotesque, skin-like limbs the colour of smoke, I'm reminded of vampire bats in old horror movies which probably isn't far from the truth. He sure is horrifying with his face twisted in anger, there's nothing left of the guy I knew. If anything he's the animal, not Ethan. As Leo flies closer, (it takes a while, his deformed wings seem too small to carry him) I notice his eyes are red and puffy and he's covered in blood. He's been beaten up.

 

'You did that didn't you?' I whisper to Ethan as I look down at his blood-strained knuckles and for the first time see bruises forming on his cheeks and hands. 'Why?' I question.

 

'Well..' Ethan looks at me sheepishly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck embarrassed. '...after realising what he was and how he'd consciously been manipulating you for all this time. I got a little angry.' Ignoring the way my heart swelled at the thought of him being angry for me, which I would definitely analyse later, I asked the obvious question:

'What is he?' I ask, a small part of me afraid of the answer.

 

'He's a halfy.' Ethan murmurs back, and at my quizzically expression continues: 'Halfys are Angels that didn't really form properly. The usually work for the other side, they're far too bitter to work with us. Not that we'd have most of them.'

 

'Why didn't they form properly?' I question, thinking of drugs and deformed babies, did Angels have an equivalent?

 

'We're not completely sure. But based on their usual traits we've come to believe it's a weakness in their...aura, I suppose.' He pauses, gathering his thoughts: 'There's a good side and a bad side in this. The Angels: like you and me with wings like ours. The bad-side...well let's hope you don't ever meet them. You'll know though, their wings are black or red...depending on their reason.' He continues vaguely. Although his lack of detail is extremely frustrating, I hurray him along conscious that pissed- off Leo has nearly reached us. 'And then there's cretin like that' he points at Leo 'which are too weak-willed to be either'.

 

Leo reaches us then, panting with a mixture of anger and fatigue. He stares at us; his hatred evident. I deflate at the sight of him so close, wondering how he could hate me so quickly and completely a mere few days after his impassive break up speech.

 

'Where has all this come from?' I question Leo, at a loss at how to process such a rapid behavioural change in a guy I'd thought I'd known inside-out.

 

'You were meant to come back!' He screeches and I cringe inwardly, remembering my desperate pleas after every single break-up. 'You always come back. Now I see why you didn't, you were cheating on me with the Butterfly.' He sneers, spitting the words out in his rage.

 

Incandescent with rage at his dismissal of the years of painful breakups and the absolute gall of the man to suggest I would cheat on him, I let go of Ethan and fly closer to Leo, inches from his face. For the first time in my life I want to punch someone. Punch him so hard he hits the floor and it hurts. I restrain myself and instead look straight into his eyes and say:

 

'How dare you say these things to me you spineless sh*t. How dare you talk about my past pain so flippantly and think that my decision to walk away this time would have anything to do with anyone else. I didn't come back because I didn't want you any more.' Leo's eyes widen at my admission, probably close to fainting with my uncharacteristic show of strength. 'I realised that you just weren't worth the effort.' I whisper to him, exhausted at the thought of so much time wasted on a man (well, semblance of one) that didn't deserve me. Moving back to Ethan to create some distance between me and the piece of sh*t I'd like to kick into next week, I grab Ethan's hand and smile at him: 'And then I met Ethan'.

 

Ethan looks into my eyes and smiles slightly. Loosing myself in his eyes I think about the last couple of days and how I've been altered so completely. It scares me. My well-ordered life is crashing around me and I'm falling head over heels for a guy I barely know. Looking back at Leo, the guy I loved so completely but had been manipulating me all along my breathing falters. Am I doing it again? Will Ethan be the same? He's no more human than I thought Leo was (I'm ignoring the fact that neither am I, one thing at a time), and look at the mess that's got me into! I've been living a lie for the past few years gradually forgetting everyone in my life and losing my Gran completely without even realising. I gasp quietly, the ache for my Gran opening up inside me as fight to push it back. I'll face that guilt later. One thing's for certain, I can't trust myself or my feelings right now. As I come to that conclusion I move away from Ethan. His eyes betray a flash of rejection or fear, I don't quite catch it, but for now I need to think of myself. I won't lose myself again.

 

I sigh inwardly, content that I've decided on something (however painful), and look at Leo. He doesn't look as angry anymore and I briefly wonder why. I take a deep breath and look him straight in the eyes. With all the strength I can muster I say:

 

'Go away Leo. There's nothing here for you anymore'.

 

Leo smiles slightly, his head tilting to one-side examining me closer. After what seems like forever he answers:

 

'OK, Robyn I'll go.' He turns to leave and I sigh slightly with relief. Turning back he looks at Ethan: 'She's not yours Butterfly'. And before I can ask what the hell 'Butterfly' refers to, Leo clicks his fingers and a black hole appears beside him. Flying gracelessly into it it winks out silently. At a loss for words I stare at the space of non-assuming night sky stunned, wondering how much crazy I can fit into today. Looking at Ethan for an explanation I see him gazing into the distance sadly and the words stick in my throat. He looks at me and for a moment I'm lost in his eyes once again. Wounded now, they don't seem as warm as before and I want to hug him all over again. It takes every single fibre of my being to refrain and my fists clench at my sides. I look down and try to gather myself, unmoving in my desire to stay strong and not loose myself in a man once-again. But that doesn't make it easier. When I feel slightly more in-control I look at him and see his eyes have glazed over, hiding his emotions from me. And I'm glad, I'm having enough trouble dealing with my own right now.

 

'So what's the plan' I eventually say as nonchalantly as possible.

 

'We talk to the Elders' Ethan replies mysteriously.

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