The Heart Never Forgets

What’s worse than watching the one you love die? For Liam, it’s having to stand by while they forget who you are. Zayn is dying, suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, and Liam goes from being his best friend to his caregiver. Somehow, their friendship becomes intimate, and while it should be good, it isn’t, because they know that Zayn will forget about them soon enough. While the mind may obliterate the memories of their love, Liam believes - hopes - that the heart never forgets.


8. VII - Liam


Liam decided not to join Zayn and harry as Zayn got his new tattoos. He desperately needed time to just be alone. He had things he needed to figure out, things involving Zayn that he needed to sort without Zayn glued to his hip – not that he could complain, considering the constant closeness was a two-way thing.

Still, the past week had taken an unexpected emotional toll on him, and it wasn’t what any of them needed. What he needed was to be strong, for Zayn’s sake, yet as it turned out, being there for Zayn was the hardest thing he could do. It completely contradicted his will to be strong; around Zayn, he just wanted to cry, weep, and wallow, all that he’d soon be forgotten.

He was angry, too, because he was falling in what he could only describe as love. He had come to accept that fact ever since Zayn commented on his breakup, but refused to act on his growing impulses, and that only made him even more upset.

It was all unfair, because why would god do this to Zayn? Zayn so pure and sweet and loving and kind. Why was god punishing Zayn so cruelly? Was it because Zayn worshipped a different god? If so, then what’s the point of free will?

and then god just had to add insult to injury, by making Liam want Zayn, now more than ever before, in ways he never once imagined himself wanting another male. He never even wanted Danielle the way he wants, longs for, needs Zayn.

And so Liam was angry, confused even. Liam was hurt. How was he supposed to do this? It wasn’t just caring after his best friend anymore, now he was watching the boy he loves forget how to live and forget how to love. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what he could do. All he knew was that he’d never be able to have Zayn. Not because Zayn wouldn’t want him back, because Liam was certain that the closeness of their friendship had often transcended one of a platonic nature, but because Zayn would just forget about it all too soon. It’s one thing to be forgotten as a best friend, but another to not be remembered as a lover.

Pretending he wasn’t in love with his best friend was going to be the hardest thing he ever did, perhaps even the hardest thing he’ll ever do in his entire life. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t fair, and it hurt like fuck.

So instead of going with them, he stayed home, alone, contemplating the events of the past week. He thought of Zayn and his want to permanently ink his friends across his body. It was touching, in a weird sort of sentimental way. A Zayn way.

It took every ounce of Liam’s willpower to resist the urge and ask Zayn to tattoo ‘Liam’ across his heart, or something equally as cheesy, to mark Zayn as forever loved by Liam.

he knew that tattoos were prohibited by Zayn’s religion, and he’d only get something tattooed if it held extreme significance, which is why he was struggling to find something appropriate for it, something that could define their friendship perfectly, but he just couldn’t, and so Zayn insisted that it was okay, even though Liam knew it wasn’t, he knew his friend was disappointed and hurt and was only saying things.

Zayn was always being comforting to others, even when he shouldn’t have to. He goes out of his way to make other people happy, just like he did at the hospital. He was so perfect with those children, playing with them for well over eight hours. The doctors had commented that no one had ever made such an impact on the kids as Zayn had, that no one ever bothered to entertain the children as long and passionate as Zayn did.

It was heartwarming, to say the least, to watch his best friend counsel the others, wiping their tears away and kissing their bald heads or scarred limbs. The smile on his face was bright enough to lighten Liam’s life for many years to come, because Zayn looked so happy to be spending time with kids. It didn’t matter to Zayn that they weren’t his kids, or that they were sick – to Zayn, they were just children who were deserving and in need of love and affection, which Zayn administered in surplus amounts.

He was well animated, completely forgetting his own woes, as he did his best to tend to the children’s needs to make them feel more comfortable with their stay, however long it was, even if it was by providing a few healthy laughs. He would make the perfect father, Liam decided.

Liam also decided that he’d help make Zayn’s wish of leaving a family legacy behind. He would raise any child Zayn fathered if it was what Zayn really wanted, and he’d do so proudly. Zayn wanted children, and Liam wouldn’t be able to live without Zayn; raising Zayn’s children would be a perfect solution to both of their wants.

Maybe, just maybe, even though nothing will be the same, everything will be alright.

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