Survival of the Pyschoes

It’s a man eat man world in high school but armed with her kooky friends to help her stay sane, Alana might just survive the survival of the psychos.

It's every girl for herself...


5. Chapter 5


Education never hurt anyone…

But I just might hurt it…


Here’s a pop quiz for you…

Mrs. Hurst was checking up on our projects today and noticed I had only done one page. So what did she do?

Did she…

a)     Encourage me like any teacher would to try harder and complete more pages

b)    Sit, help and guide me through the pages or

c)     Start a long lecture about how ‘in her day’ she used to get a beating if she didn’t finish her homework and I better be careful if I don’t want to get a beating.

Wow, it looks more psychotic when I write it down.

Well that’s Mrs. Hurst for you.

When she finally started to focus on the actually lesson and not the cane beatings back in her era, my phone started vibrating madly in my blazer pocket. I slipped it down under the table and glanced at the caller ID. ‘MUM’ splashed across the screen and a red no entry symbol flashed up as her caller picture. My mum could be pre-tty embarrassing on the phone.


I decided Mrs. Hurst was too indulged in her lesson about racism to care so I ducked under the table and answered the call.

“Hello” I whispered,

“Hi honey, you forgot your lunch, do you need me to run it up for you?” she asked cheerily,

“Yeah okay” I replied quietly,

“Why are you whispering, darling?” she quizzed,

I sware, sometimes I think my mum is in her own world where I go off to Australia everyday to play baseball with kangaroos and have a jazz dance lesson with kind leprechauns who eat gold fish.




“I’m in class” I explained,

“Oh okay, I’ll speak to you later then” She replied,

“Love you, bye” I said hurriedly and hung up, I slipped it back into my blazer pocket and tried to pull my head from underneath the table.

But I couldn’t. I was stuck.


I pulled desperately but it was no good and even worse, I had just spotted Mrs. Hurst’s drabby flat shoes planted in front of my desk.

“How’s the weather down there, Alana?”

“Ummmm….sticky?” I replied casually,

She tutted and lifted the desk up,

“Oww, oww, oww!” I screamed,


“Aaah, I see the problem, you’ve got gum stuck in your hair” Mrs. Hurst concluded, “My only option is to cut you free”


I could tell by the smug look on her face, she had been planning this moment for a long time…


“Ermmm…no, I think I’ll pass on that one. Couldn’t you just peel my hair off carefully?” I asked hopefully,


Mrs. Hurst tugged, no, YANKED my hair, as I screamed out in pain.


“Okay, no, no, I’m fine. I think it be better if I just sat throught your lesson like this. It’s no trouble at all.” I suggested,


Mrs. Hurst smiled a toothy smile before suddenly contorting her face into a scowl,

“I think it’d be better if you marched yourself down to the medical room, young lady”


I got up, picked up my bag and headed towards the door, dragging the table behind me as I howled in pain. The class was hysterical.


“Oh and Alana?” Mrs. Hurst called as she walked over towards me,

“Your phone please” she held out her hand.


I reluctantly handed it over, wondering how on earth she knew I was on the phone.

Nevertheless, I trudged out of the room and down to the medical room, hoping the nurse could fix my sticky situation.


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