It started with a smile...

We were two halves of the same heart.

Meant to be.

Pulling at each other's gravity.

We needed to be together but stuck waiting for the right time.

And finally, it came.

It started with a smile.

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3. Falling Apart

It shook me, it really did.

I should of known I wasn't good enough to be asked out by Harry Silverstein.

I wished inside that it would all blow over. Every time I crossed Harry in the corridor, I felt my heart drop to my knees. I felt so stupid for falling for it. 

As for the note, I never found out who wrote it although I had my suspicions.

I forgot about James for a while but I still had strong feelings for him. Two years passed and so much has happened since then but one thing hasn’t changed; my love for him.

We got closer after that; sat together a lot, planned days out with each other even though we didn’t go on them and smiled and chatted endlessly.

But that all stopped when he started going out with Cara. She broke him. Sounds stupid, I know but one minute he was funny, sweet, cheeky and smart, the next he was arrogant, rude, full of himself and didn’t give a toss about schoolwork. All he was interested in was himself and how many girls he could get.

Word got around that they were dating just before the summer holidays and they soon confirmed it by flirting, giggling, hugging and kissing in every spare moment they could get.I didn't fall apart as I thought I would have. After all, I didn't expect him to stay single forever.

I also didn't expect him to change completely. He was fine at first but it was after the Summer holidays that he came back changed.

The first thing I noticed was his voice- it had broken. That was going to happen eventually but I didn’t think a change of attitude would follow; getting lippy to teachers, giving dirty looks to other boys, thinking that people were privileged just to talk to him.

He had broken up with Cara but the damage was already done. I never knew people could change so much in the space of two weeks but he had done the impossible and become a monster. 

He doesn’t notice me anymore. Back then, in the time I just described, we acted like best friends and now we hardly speak to each other. Most times either I have to start the conversation or the rare time he starts the conversation, it’s to insult me.

He’s sitting next to me right now and he hasn’t said a thing to me. I know all that chatter about a boy teasing you and ignoring you means he fancies you but under my circumstances; I don’t think that applies. 

I wish he was back. The old him. 

 

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