Saving Each Other

"I can't keep doing this Niall!" she screamed, as I held her firmly. I ran my fingers through my hair, pushing the damp strand out of my face, locking our gaze. "Em, please." I whispered, and I doubt she heard me over the thundering rain. It was killing me to see her like this. "I can't do this! I can't keep being the strong one!" she cried out. "I-If I have to be strong for you, how am I supposed to be strong for me Niall? How am I supposed to..to-" she struggled to find words, but all I heard was silence after that.
It was me. It was all me. The reason she was like this now. It wasn't because of her dad. It was me. my heart sank. I was killing the girl that I, now realized, loved. I loved her, and I was the reason she was broken. I wasn't going to push it away anymore. I wasn't going to hide from it. I loved her. I loved Emily Payne. And I was killing her.

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8. The Truth

Niall's POV
WHY WON"T SHE TALK TO ME!?!?  So, her dad's dead, didn't make it. And I know she's the one who should be tearing up, but I was feeling quite horrid at the moment. Seeing her unhappy caused me so much pain. And she was so oblivious to the power she had over me. I hadn't talked to Emily since the kiss, and honestly, it was driving me mad. Not hearing her beautiful voice. She wouldn't even glance at me. I mean, it was an accident! I didn't know if she was mad, or if she just didn't want to see me or..I shook my head. First two days, we were fine, acting like nothing happened, now, it's been almost 6 weeks and she was avoiding me like crazy. I couldn't focus, and it was like she didn't care. She was content on ignoring me, but me? Oh, HELL no. This was torture.

Yes, she'd cried, Liam had cried, even Louis had shed a tear or two. There was a private funeral, and honestly, not much people came. (sorry if you wanted me to write about the funeral..and stuff, I just didn't feel like it DON'T HATE PLZ!!!) And so we were here, back in England and she was STILL avoiding me? You've got to be kidding me. Did she enjoy seeing me miserable? Did she know how horrible I was feeling? Did she know how horrible it was to have to bear not hearing her call my name. Dammit, girl.

I could hear her crying into Liam's chest in the other room. It had died down a bit, but it was still audible. I ran my fingers through my hair, letting go a long, shuddering breath.  I couldn't take it. I got up, but a little too quickly, and I felt pain course through my head. I rubbed my temples while taking much slower steps toward the door. I gently knocked on the door.I heard Liam call out "come in" softly, and a mumble that sounded like "No..." I creaked open the door slightly, just so Liam saw who it was. He looked up at me. "Hey Ni." he almost whispered. I tried to find words, but nothing came out as I stared at her.

Her cheeks were wet with tears, eyes dark, and puffy. What I wanted more than anything was to run over to her, wipe those tears away, and just see her smile. To hold her, feeling her body against mine. To feel those lips of hers again. I wanted to tell her I loved her, and have the ability to make everything okay. I wanted her to just..just look at me. Just let my name fall from her lips. At least my name. I needed her. She looked away from me, her eyes flickering to everything in the room but me. That right there, was what was killing me. "I was wondering if..i-if I could just speak to Emily?" I was praying for a yes. Not from, Liam, but from Emily. He would agree...but would she?

"Sure thing, mate." he gently released her and got up. She was giving him her best "DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM!!" look, but he didn't quite get it. He gave us one last look before closing the door behind him. Awkwardly, I inched closer to the bed she was sitting on. She looked down. "Hey..been a while.." That Niall? That was your opening line? She nodded, still not looking at me. Not a single word. Not even a mumble. I needed to hear her voice. At least have her look at me. Maybe I was overreacting, but I honestly couldn't live without her. I needed to hear her. To know that she still did give the slightest crap about me. "Em, please talk to me, love." I begged her. She shrugged, playing with her thumb. 

"We can't just kiss, pretend like it's nothing and then avoid each other! We need to talk!" I didn't like raising my voice, especially to her, but it seems that was the only way she could hear me. She didn't flinch. I sighed, frustrated and slammed my fist into the wall. "Did you just erase it from your memory?" I almost whispered, not facing her. I heard her swallow. "It's..It's not like I don't think about it Niall." she spoke, her voice filling my ears.I turned, probably smiling like an idiot, and looking even more stupid by trying to hide it. She looked down. She was talking to me. That was a start. Well, here I go.

"That kiss...it was a total accident Em, and I really hope I didn't screw things up for us..i-if there i-is an u-us. No! What I meant to say was-" I tripped over my words, and she shushed me. If I haven't told people before, I'm telling them now, I'm not good with words. "Niall, I'm not upset about the kiss." she said. I looked up at her. "That wasn't the problem. The problem..was.." she took a deep breath. "I liked it.." she didn't dare look me in the eyes as she confessed. I had no idea what look I had on my face. Shocked? Freaked? Excited? Horrified? "And I knew you didn't feel the same way, which-which is why I knew I'd screwed up and-"
"You didn't screw up. It was an accident...right?" As I spoke, I was begging her to say no, and there was a stupid grin on my face and I couldn't wipe it off. I mean, she just admitted she liked kissing me. I don't think she noticed it though as she nodded. "But Niall.." she looked up at me. "I-I..This is a stupid question..and I'm going to sound quite dumb asking, since the answer is obviously no, but..actually, never mind. I-It was stupid of me to-"
"Go on." I urged her.
"No it's so-"
"Em, love go ahead." she bit her lip, turning slowly to me.

"I'm going to sound like a hopeless know-it-all..and this is terribly cliche but..."
"Spit it out Emily." I was getting impatient now.  
"I think about it all the time. I can't...not think about it." she said slowly. I stared at her expectantly. "I know you felt something too Niall. I can't be the only one." she whispered the last part and my heart practically exploded. Before I could respond, the door flew open. There was Sage. "So, to lighten things up...Harry and I had this idea..."

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