X factor. Reality show... life choice?

I'm here. I made it. How? Dear lord, don't ask me- I'd be the LAST person to know. But maybe this is my chance. Not to become famous, but to become ME. To become more interesting and well... wild??? Ha! Lacey jane, wild? Hey ho, if it all gos wrong. I'll just blame it on Emma! Lacey Jane is quiet, mousey and... she thinks... a little bland. When she is swept up in a whirl wind of show biz and scandel. We find out what really goes on in the X factor house... alls fair in love and music.

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6. finding Lacey

Finding lacey- finding me.

I finally feel like I'm finding me. 

we came to the dining room at 11:50. To nervous to wait, but to find every one waiting for us. Seems like we're not the only ones nervous to start... The whole place looked uncluttered and bright, and the recording equipment was stuffed in a corner as discreetly as possible in a useless attempt to make the whole charade to seem- well I guess normal. as if that's going to work.

"OK," Gary announced, whom I had not seen since the auditions. "We want to test your strengths not only individually but also as a group, and as you all know- none of the places in this competition are set in stone, So if you want to make it too the top, we need to see you in all aspects" Oh my god, the suspense was killing me. It felt like a cartoon where every one leans in as one group in anticipation. You could have heard a pin drop.

"So today, as your first task."  I swear I wasn't breathing, "We will be putting you into groups and giving you the chance to work as a team. We will give you a song and you will have an hour to learn in of by heart and prepare yourselves outside, afterwards we shall round you up again and explain the next stage." Yes. phew. I was with Em and Bex. The relief felt false.

Because part of me was disappointed.

How could I be a new person- when nothing else seems to have changed?

I sort of craved excitement.

I was fifth-teen for Christ sake and I'd never had a relationship that's lasted for more than two weeks!

Dreamy eyed Bex fell in and out off love daily.

And feisty Em had a string of hopless admirers.

Whereas I rolled my eyes at the girls that depended so much on their boyfriends and promised myself I'd never be like that. Instead I fell in love with books and music living in my own little bubble.

Maybe its time I popped that bubble and escaped the land of lucey-lu.

Lu! that's it! The new me.

Lu, new. It even rhymes.

But how could I be new when I was so overpowered by my two best friends? Whose identity's were engraved in stone so defiantly they know every little thing about there personality's completely and definably. Whereas I was hopelessly lost.

"We shall be splitting the groups up as they have an unfair advantage but I shall put you into numbered groups now,"

yessss. Now that relief was NOT false. I felt mean, horrible and nasty. Especially when I saw Em go all huffy and Bex look a little watery eyed... But I could not deny the sweeping sense of excitement at meeting new people. Trying out my  alter ego. Being Lu.

And when I saw the four gorgeous guys in my new (temporary) group. I have too say I fainted a little. 

I was so not ready for this- No. Lucey was not ready for this. I was Lu. A mix of Em and Bex with a little bit of punk thrown in. I was giggly and fun. Not overly fiery, not overly girly. But I was a risk taker. I was still me. Just... better.

The blue eyed god, with sweeping brown hair outstretched his hand. Oh dear lord, he already looked like a gorgeous, indie guitarist, that could melt any girls heart. Sort of a guy version of Taylor Swift. His eyes told a million stories. And his open denim shirt officially made him my new dream boy...

"Hi, I'm Ben," His voice. His eyes. His hair. His smile.

"I'm Lu," Alter ego me was very happy indeed.

 

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