In Perpetuum [Harry Potter]

COMPLETED: Harry Potter Fanfiction. Hermione is sent back in time to the Marauder's Era. What will happen when she does not have Harry around to provide information and clues about Voldemort? Some Lily/James, Remus/OC.

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38. Iratus

ANGRY

5TH YEAR

 

Sirius let Hermione cool off for a few days before he tried to even speak to her again. In fact, almost everyone that had seen or heard about what happened by the Black Lake had kept a safe distance.

James was particularly furious at Hermione. Anytime that she was in the room, he would leave it muttering curses under his breath. The only exception was when they happened to be in the same class, and for obvious reasons, he could not leave.

Word of what had happened had apparently reached their parents, because Ma had expressed great concern in her letters and repeated what she had said many years ago, before Hermione had even started at Hogwarts.

'We could always make some other kind of arrangement. I don't want you to feel pressured.'

Hermione had eyed this letter with great disdain and anger. How could she turn a blind eye to her son's obvious harassment of another student?

'Well, it's a bit late for that, isn't it?' she felt like shouting at the parchment.

The only thing that had remotely cheered Hermione up was the Hogsmeade weekend that had been scheduled for the following weekend. It was supposed to be a reward for all the hard work the students had put into their examinations. However, this in itself had also dampened her spirits because she would essentially be going alone. No one wanted to even wave a hello in the corridors to her anymore, let alone invite her to go to Hogsmeade with them.

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It was Friday, the day before the Hogsmeade trip. Hermione was sitting at Gryffindor table alone. It was almost like an invisible and impenetrable barrier was around her. Occasionally a younger student would cast a fearful look towards her, but they would quickly go back to whatever it was they were doing.

That was, until Sirius strode into the room. He missed Hermione and he was adamant that he was going to do anything that he could to win her back. He planned to invite her to Hogsmeade with him, citing that she needed time to relax and unwind.

He cautiously approached her as she was tucking into her breakfast. She did not react negatively to him being there, and he took this as a good sign. At least she wasn't hexing him!

He decided to take the plunge and try to speak to her.

"Hermione?"

Hermione turned to look at him. Her face was almost impassive. Sirius could pick up a trace of hurt, but he supposed that was only because he knew her so well...and because he was part of the reason for that hurt.

Taking a deep breath, he swallowed his pride and any reservations he had about what he was about to say.

"Ah...I was wondering...If you weren't too busy tomorrow... Would you like to come to Hogsmeade with me? If it helps, I'm sorry about what I said the other day. We talked it over in the dorms that night, and agreed that James was a complete and total arse. I wasn't any better, and for that I am sorry."

Hermione continued to look at him with the sad expression.

"Hermione? Please, say something. I'll understand if you never want to speak to me again-"

Hermione let out a small sigh, before cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Sirius – stop. I'm still angry with you and James about what you did. But to be honest, I am also angry at myself."

Sirius blinked in confusion; however, he let her continue. He wanted to know why she had lashed out.

"I'm angry that I let it get that far. I'm angry that I turned my wand on James and I am angry that I am angry at you. What you did was terrible and hateful, but I attacked the both of you, and that was just as wrong. Everyone knows that you can do accidental magic when your emotions are very strong. What if I did something to hurt you? Or to hurt James?"

She hung her head with the shame that she was feeling before speaking in a low voice.

"I would never forgive myself if I hurt you, or Remus, or anyone, even if it was by accident."

She was on the verge of tears when Sirius pulled her into a hug. When she did not object to the close contact, Sirius pulled her in even tighter whispering words of comfort in her ear.

When they pulled apart, Sirius took this as his opportunity to pounce.

"So...you still have not answered my question. D'you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

Hermione let a small smile escape.

"Sure," she replied, small smile resurfacing.

"Cool! Can't wait," said Sirius grinning.

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"So, where would milady like to visit first?"

Hermione giggled at the scene that Sirius was making.

"She has a choice between Gladrags Wizardwear, for some new robes; or perhaps milady would prefer to be serenaded by song and 'Dominic Maestro's' is the order of the day."

"Actually, I was hoping to go to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop," she replied, winking at Sirius.

Sirius instantly paled at the very thought of having to go anywhere near the pink lace. Hermione, on the other hand, burst into laughter when she saw the expression on his face.

"I'm just kidding! I wouldn't go in there if you gave me a million galleons."

Sirius let out a sigh of relief.

"And that is why I love you so much."

He punctuated his words with a kiss on the cheek that was closest to him.

Despite this small act of kindness, Hermione felt as though Sirius was, somehow still holding back. She decided to change the subject before things got awkward.

"What about Tomes and Scrolls? I have a couple of things I need to pick up from there," she said leading him towards the shop front.

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The couple was just leaving Schrivenshaft's, Sirius laughing the whole time at the time travel book Hermione had bought ('Haven't you read them all already?'), when Hermione spotted James.

James was still yet to speak to his sister, and whilst Hermione was somewhat willing to move forward, she would have bet any number of galleons that James would not be as willing to forgive and forget.

She felt Sirius grip her hand from where he stood beside her.

"You should probably speak to him. It's ok – he won't bite...much."

Sirius spoke into her ear quietly, but it was nonetheless encouraging.

"He should be willing to, at the very least, hear you out."

The steady pressure of his hand spurred her forwards, but it was Sirius' voice that rang out above the noise of the chattering Hogwarts students that had lined the streets of the picture perfect village.

"Oi! Prongs!"

James turned his head around, a smile adorning his face until he spotted Hermione next to his best friend. Grudgingly, he made his way over to where they were standing.

"Yes," he said coldly.

"This is family business," said Sirius briskly, suddenly letting go of Hermione's hand, "I'll leave you two to sort it out."

Quick as a wink he was gone, walking down towards the other shops.

"What does he mean by 'family business'," said James suspiciously.

"Errr...perhaps we should go somewhere quieter... and a little less crowded. The Hogs Head?"

James nodded in agreement.

One inside, they sat at an obscure, wobbly little table in the corner, and ordered their drinks.

"So what is this about?" questioned James, wanting to get right to point.

Hermione repeated to him what she had said to Sirius the previous morning at breakfast.

To his credit, James waited patiently until she got to the end of her explanation.

"Do you forgive me? Hermione asked very meekly at the end of it all.

The response was not the one that she had hoped for, but there was potential.

"I don't know."

"If you need more time, that's ok with me. In fact, why don't you and Sirius spend the rest of the afternoon together? I'm going back up to the castle. Tell Sirius that I'll see him tonight in the common room."

She stood up, put the money down for her drink, and left James with his thoughts.

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Hermione lay face down on the sofa nearest the window. She could feel the cool spring breeze coming through, dispelling some of the stuffiness of the common room; however it did nothing to banish her sour mood. An book lay open, quite close to her visibly shaking body.

She did not hear the portrait door open, and was therefore startled when a warm hand was placed gently on the small of her back.

"Hermione?" Sirius murmured. Hermione did not stir despite his concerned tone.

"What's wrong?"

"Is it something that Prongs said? Or did?"

Hermione continued to cry into the sofa cushions. Sirius did not know what to do and he sat there rather awkwardly. He had never had to deal with a crying girl before, even if it was one that he practically grew up with.

"Was it someone else?"

Sirius watched as the damp patch on the sofa surrounding Hermione got steadily wetter.

He groaned in frustration until something bright blue caught his eye. He glanced at the title of what he saw to be a book. It was the same one that she had purchased with him earlier that day.

"Did it have something to do with this?" he said, prodding the cover of the book.

Hermione's crying had reached the hiccupping stages by now, as she pushed herself up to look at him. She let out a shaky, "yes".

Sirius took the opportunity of her sitting up to put his arms around her pull her into him.

"Are you going to tell me what has made you so upset?"

Hermione shook her head.

"Why not?" Sirius' voice had become strained, like he was holding back any number of angry retorts.

Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"I can't tell you," she said, her voice still shaky but regaining some of its usual briskness.

"What do you mean you can't tell me?" spoke Sirius through clenched teeth. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to control himself.

"It means exactly that – I can't tell you," said Hermione growing frustrated, wishing that he would drop the subject.

"I've told you a million times before. If this is going to work, you need to tell me things. I'm not a mind-reader, and we can't keep playing guessing games all the time!"

"I'm not playing games, Sirius!" Hermione spoke so loudly she was almost shouting.

"Really? Could have fooled me!" His tone and volume now matched Hermione's. "Do you even see me as your boyfriend anymore? Do you even love me enough to tell me the truth?"

"How can you say that? Of course I love you!"

"Then why did you send James to do your bidding and tell me that you left Hogsmeade early? That was my way of making it up to you, and you blew it! You just can't accept anything that is not on your terms."

Hermione and Sirius were lucky that everyone else was at dinner. It was extremely rare that the common room was completely empty at any given time, but Hermione was most grateful for it right at this very moment. Both Sirius and Hermione had gotten up from their seats and were standing, in opposition to one another, shouting.

"I was trying to give James space! I thought an afternoon with you would help that."

"YOU THOUGHT WRONG!"

The verbal volleyball continued, and neither of them noticed the portrait door open. Lily and Estrella were chatting animatedly with Remus. The trio stopped in their tracks when they saw Sirius standing with his fists clenched, and Hermione with her face swollen and covered in blotchy red patches.

"You can't keep being secretive like this!" Sirius screamed at her, oblivious to the intrusion.

"That's a bit rich coming from you, what about your brother? What about Regulus? You pretend that you don't even have a brother!"

"That's different and you know it. If you keep acting like this, then we can't be together anymore!"

"THEN I GUESS WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER!" shrieked Hermione back.

She clamped a hand over her mouth when she saw the shocked faces of her friends and dorm-mates.

Sirius flicked his head around to see what she had been staring at. When he saw the others he instantly lowered his voice.

"Fine," he said, "You don't have to worry about me nosing around in your life anymore."

He stormed past the others and through the portrait hole, slamming the door behind him.

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