Always Midnight

Madison Johnson's life changes the moment she lays eyes on Christian Watson. Christian is unlike any boy Madison has ever met in her life, he's a guy with a secret-he's a vampire with a deadly past. When they fall in love, Christian's past soon makes its way into their future together. As his past catches up to him, Madison must decide how much she will sacrifice to be with the man she loves.

Copyright © 2011


20. Now it all makes Sense (pt 3)


I was speechless, I had no perfect words to console him or to take away his pain. Without thinking, I took his hand into mine and squeezed it. We locked eyes, and I gave him a moment to regain his composure. He signaled he was ready to continue when he squeezed back.

"What happened to the woman who created you into a vampire?" I probed. 

“The mistress of Satan, Katherine Stone, who created me, became my girlfriend. I don’t know why I dated her for nearly ten years. When I awoke after she turned me, the world was new to me all over again. She helped me adjust to the new changes of my new body and life. Isolation, drove me to stay. I knew nothing of vampires, yet how to survive being one. She taught me how to hunt humans." Christian fell silent, while I digested this information. 

A part of me wanted to tell him to stop the story but instead I encouraged him to continue. 

"She loved being able to kill, I on the other hand did not enjoy killing even if it was the means of my survival. Her thirst for destruction and killing made me loathe being what I was…what I am. After ten years, I left her, I could not live the sadistic life she loved. I ventured off on my own and arrived in France in the year of 1921 when one night, while feeding off a prostitute, I encountered a man, my present father, Nathaniel. He introduced me to a world where vampires could co exist with humans, a world of peace. We became father and son, in that moment. He introduced me to his wife, my mother, Elizabeth. They have been vampires a long time, longer than I have. They taught me I didn’t have to live in the shadows but that I could have a normal life, this became my chance to redeem myself. We don’t kill humans, we feed off of animals or sometimes Nathaniel is able to obtain blood from a blood bank. The last human I killed was 90 years ago, a rapists that led a trail of terror in a town, I took justice into my own hands. It doesn't make me a good guy though, nothing I do will ever be good enough. I'm a condemned man." Christian was blinded by such self loathing he didn’t see himself clearly, I realized.

“If that were true, if you truly believed that then you would still be with your ex girlfriend, you would still be killing. I don’t think you fully believe you’re damned because if you did you wouldn’t care. You wouldn’t drink animal blood, you wouldn’t have saved me. Trying to do good things in the world. People do horrible things every day, and they don’t care. That thinking is what condemns them but you care, you are trying to repent. That isn’t the soul of a man condemned, that is the soul of a man who is working his way into the gates of Heaven.” 

"I wish I had your faith...the truth is that I know where I'm going when I die and it isn't Heaven."

“I know you have a good soul Christian because if you didn't I wouldn't be in love with you.” I whispered. The walls I’ve built my whole life came crashing down as I flung open the doors to my heart. My heart pounded in my chest. My brain yelled at me, telling me I was an idiot for having to develop such strong feelings for a man who remained a mystery to me. My heart congratulated me on expressing myself, it wanted to be in love. Christian froze, he did not move. 

“Your youth is something I will not take advantage of. You don’t realize what you're getting yourself into. You have no idea what you are feeling…this is wrong. I shouldn‘t have put us in this position, I am taking advantage of a sixteen year old girl.” His words crushed me.

“I’m not getting into anything I don’t want to be in. When are we going to stop playing this game? We can both pretend that friendship is enough for us when we both know it's not. I don't want to ignore what I'm feeling anymore nor do I want to be the only one who is putting my heart on the line. I'm ready to give you my heart and I'm ready to have yours. I love you Christian." I meant each and every word, and had no regrets. My only hope was that he would admit to himself that he loved me too. Christian held my gaze and for one moment I was positive he could see into my soul. 

“There's more than a thousand reasons I could tell you why we would never work as a couple. But the one reason why we would work outweighs them all; I love you too.” My heart stopped beating. I scooted closer to him on the bed, and he gently wrapped me into his arms. Everything felt right to me, Christian and I were meant to be together.

“This feels weird, I have much to learn about you, I’ve only read certain things from your friend-” He started.

“Wait what? What do you mean about ‘read?’” I asked, startled. 

“I can hear people’s thoughts.”

“Like a mind reader?”

“Yes, something like that…but yours I can’t read…it’s like you’ve rigged your mind somehow. Whenever I try to read your mind, I can’t! Everything is silent. When I first met you I didn’t hear anything, it interested me. It relaxed me at first because hearing thoughts can be annoying, it’s hard to tune out. Picture trying to think with hundreds of stereos blasting bad music, when I tried to read your mind though, it reminded me of a dead zone. I heard nothing. It became my favorite radio station but then it became infuriating because I didn‘t know how you felt about me. I became obsessed finding more about you, every conversation you had with your friends whenever they’d think about it I made sure to tune in. Desperation clung to me, I tried to forget about you, I fought with Emilia all the time. She told me to leave you alone, but I couldn’t. I didn’t give up until the day after I ran into you at the bookstore. After you told me to leave you alone I tried to listen to you. But when I saw you talking to that pervert Eric, it nearly destroyed me reading his thoughts about you. It pissed me off more than you can imagine. I imagined you liking him, and I became consumed with jealously. I haven’t felt jealous in a long time, it put me in a bad mood. When he grabbed you that day, I nearly risked exposure, had I not read Emilia‘s mind I would‘ve killed him right in front of all those children. It took all my strength not to snap his neck into two.” His fist clenched into a ball, and his eyes were wild with rage.

He continued, “However, despite my rage that day with Eric I am grateful it happened because it gave me a reason to talk to you,” His eyes softened, “I desired to stay longer with you but Emilia had had enough. She dragged me into the parking lot, she tried to talk reason into me. I believed she thought she was successful because I didn‘t go back to school that day, instead I opted to go home. Every reason she said to stay away from you made sense, I battled myself for hours. I've been reckless and indecisive about what to do regarding being around you. I thought about leaving but I couldn't without knowing you, without knowing everything about you. I decided that we could at least be friends, that’s when I came over to your house and asked you out on Friday night. I plotted on how to see you again this weekend because I knew you were going to Oasis Pond. I planned on accidentally running into you on Sunday before you left, but last night when you were running in the woods I heard the words ‘help me’ from your thoughts. They were crystal clear, and I felt this force inside of me that I've never felt before. Nothing else mattered except finding you. I thought by now I'd hear some more of your thoughts but now the door remains closed to me, and I cannot read your thoughts.” He said, distant, probably thinking about my dead zoned mind. I on the other hand, became disturbed and elated. 

“That is weird, last night when I was running all I could think about was that I had to see you one last time. If last night was going to be the end then I had to see you before I departed this world. When you showed up, it was nothing short of a miracle.” I said. Christian nodded in agreement.

"So what else have you read about me?" 

“I've only read memories about you. I don’t get to choose what I want to know, I can only read whatever someone is thinking about at that moment. I‘ve only heard about certain conversations you‘ve had with your friends, such as when you were in the lunch room on the first day of school complaining to Lillian about me.”

“Oh” I blushed, “Yea sorry about that. That sucks, always being inside other people’s heads. How do you not go insane? I would.” I said.

"I've learned to tune out most of the thoughts, most of the time. Lately I'll focus in on your mind, and lose myself in the silence.” He replied.

“Does every vampire have special powers? Like the rest of your family?" 

“No, only some of us do, I don’t know why though. I’ve assumed it’s something that we’ve always been born to do. Even as a young child, I’ve always been able to read off the emotions of people around me. When you’re human there’s much the brain can do but either you repress it or don‘t know how to use it. If something unexplainable happens humans tend to doubt themselves. Humans subconsciously block their special abilities if they have it in order to fit in with society. Since they’re used to blocking those abilities they never unlock it even if they happen to become a vampire. As for my family, only Emilia and I are gifted but I guess that conversation is for a different day.” He told me. 

“Oh, that makes sense…” I said distracted by how this night opened my eyes. A whole world of paranormal opened that supposedly didn’t exist, yet here it was, right in Maple Falls and I entered it.

“Madison what are you thinking about? You seem far away from me, your thoughts are somewhere else.” Christian stated disrupting my thoughts.

“My mind is running on a track trying to digest everything you've told me. This whole new world has been unfolded in front of me and it's a lot to take in. I'm still in shock that despite everything that we've gone through, that we've found each other. That finally we are together. That I'm yours, and..."

"I’m yours always and forever.” He finished for me.

“Always and forever? I like the sound of that.” 

“Me too.” He grinned. I flushed with color, smiling back at him. 

I leaned towards him. Though I loved hearing about Christian's past, we had forever to learn about each other, the questions could wait. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I continued to close the distance between us, until my face was inches away from him. His scent engulfed me, overloading my senses. Christian's attention was focused on me. I placed one hand on his cheek softly, his skin was cold and smooth. He sighed reaching up to place his hand on mine. He rubbed his cheek against the warmth of my hand, sighing once more. His cool breathe blew lightly on my face, my heart sped up. I continued to move towards Christian until I found myself sitting face to face with him, perched on his lap.
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