The Only Exception

It's Zayn Malik before One Direction. Zayn and Lucy develop a relationship despite their popularity statuses. They love each other, but is it worth losing friends and family? Will their struggle to cope with outside forces end up in vain or will they have the happily ever after?

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29. Begin Again

 

Lucy's P.O.V. 4 MONTHS LATER

I cried more than I ever cried in my whole life combined. I cried as they did my hair. I cried as they applied my make-up, which made the stylists extremely frustrated. I cried as I put on my dress. I cried as I slipped on the pure white high heels. I just kept crying and crying. My friends teased me, joking about how happy I was that I was getting married. I only nodded my head. I tried holding back the tears, but it was no use. I just kept crying.

 

I reached the altar. Tony’s eyes followed my gaze as I tried holding his. I forced myself not to cry. I didn’t make eye contact with anyone attending. I just stared at Tony because I feared I would burst into tears if I lost focus. I love Tony, I repeated in my head. I love Tony.

 

“I do,” I repeated. Tony smiled and then leaned in to kiss me once the priest said he could. Tony was beaming and then turned to face our friends and family as they applauded. He took hold of my hand and we walked down the aisle. People congratulated me on the way and I feigned smiles. It took everything I had not to cry in front of them. Outside, people threw rice and cheered. I felt numb inside even though I desperately tried to feel something. I felt Tony’s grip grow stronger as we reached the limo. “I love you,” he said.

I nodded. “I love you too,” I whispered. He smiled and kissed me again, bringing about another round of applause. I did love Tony and I never questioned that. But then Zayn came along and changed all of that. I thought I had lost him forever, but there he was one day and then he was gone. I struggled to get out of bed sometimes because I knew Zayn was lost to me forever.

Tony helped me into the limo and then waved goodbye to the crowd. Before Tony closed the door, I happened to glance towards Mike. Mike was waving goodbye, a smile on his face. Mike was the only one, other than Tony, who knew of Zayn’s visit. Mike wished to see him, but like last time, I managed to screw everything up. Mike eventually got his wish when Zayn dropped by one day on the set of his latest movie.

Mike had invited Zayn to my wedding. I didn’t know whether I should have been angry and glad that he did that, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t searching for Zayn during the ceremony. I let a tear escape, and just as Tony began closing the door, I saw Zayn standing next to Mike. He was just standing there, not even bothering to smile or applaud. He was just looking directly at me. And then the door was closed and the limo began moving forward. It was only for a short second before Zayn was out of view. That was all I needed before the tears escaped.

I felt Tony’s hand gently rub my shoulder. I moved over so that I was crying on his shoulder. Tony didn’t know who Zayn was or what we had in the past. All he knew was that I would never love him as much as I loved Zayn. I knew it hurt him more than he would show.

Like before, I knew it was no use to hold onto the past. There was no point because it was official now. There will never be a second chance. As the limo continued forward, I promised myself that I would be everything Tony needed. I wouldn’t compare him to Zayn. I wouldn’t talk about Zayn. I would stop with my obsession with One Direction.

But I knew that I would always love Zayn, no matter how many years rolled by or how many kids we would have. It was the truth that kept nagging me.

“I love you Tony,” I said into his shoulder. “I love you so much.”

Tony didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to, but it hurt a lot that he didn’t. I hated the fact that he caught me and Zayn. I wished I could do a do over and never had told Zayn to leave. I wish that I had never moved away. I wished it was Zayn sitting next to me. I wished it was Zayn I had just gotten married to. But it wasn’t.

I sighed. I had to stop because I wasn’t going to live in regret. Today was my wedding day and I’m going to be happy. I grabbed Tony’s hand and he looked at me skeptically. I smiled and kissed him and he didn’t hesitate.

Today I will be happy. Tomorrow I will be alright. In the future, I know I will cry about it, but today I’ll be happy and begin the rest of my life.

 

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