Letters to you


2. Letter (II)

Dear you,

You call your fantasies ‘vivid and stupid’, but I would like very much to kiss you under the stars and be near to you always and do everything you described— it sounds wonderful. It’s got to be secret, you say, so that he doesn’t get more hurt than he already has been.

If not hurting him was a priority, I think it’s a bit late for that.

I want you to come back so I can see you again, so I can sort out what’s real from what’s fantasy. Well, really just to see you. You have this incredible magic effect on me and I realise I sound like a lovestruck teenager but oh my if that’s what this is then I really don’t care what I sound like, I only care about the way you sling your arm around me and pretend that no one else exists but protect me from their ghosts anyway.

I really, really like you. I don’t know if you feel the same way any more and I can’t promise anything really except that I will do my very best not to fuck this up. I can’t stay mad at you. I hope you can’t stay mad at me. If it’s true that I never left your mind, through “destruction, depression and desperation”, then surely we can find a way to make this work?

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