Amira Bhatti's Diaries

This is a story based on my life...names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.. including mine...

I will take you on the journey of my life so far..enjoy...

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1. The Beginning..

I was born in the good old 70's..not that I remember much of it - dad was an immigrant who worked in a factory in Bradford..mum was a homemaker..and family consisted of me..the eldest..3 sisters and a much longed for brother!!

My dad was a softly spoken man...mum ruled the house with her intelligence..wit and her ambition.  She arranged for the house to remortgaged..and we promptly moved up the road into our new house..above the corner shop we had bought!!

Life was great...we now had no shortage of money..and both mum and dad worked 24 hours to ensure the shop ran smoothly and we were all well looked after.  We started high school...one of my memories of my first day was mum sat with me in the taxi on the way to school saying..this is where your life will either flourish..or flounder..make sure you keep good company and don't do anything to ruin our 'izzat'..our honour..oh how I remember those words..

I remember my first day - I was one of the first bunch of asian girls in the school..and we quickly formed a clique!! We all came from middle income backgrounds and the school was a RC Girls School.. 

Everybody generally got on..but there were some white girls who enjoyed bullying us..but as I was popular I avoided them!!

There was one particular fellow asian girl..Bushra..who lived in my street..and had a very bad reputation..my mother had specifically told me to avoid her..but we quickly became best friends...and stuck to each other like glue..

She told me all her secrets..I had none to tell and loved listening to her stories.  One day...she asked me to stand with her as she was bunking off school to spend the day with her much older boyfriend..she was 13 he was 27!!! I stood outside the school at break time..only for a car to pull up and for Bushra to get in and pull me in with her!! Before I could protest the car sped off..I was terrified...what had I done..my mother was going to kill me!!!

The car was being driven by her boyfriend Anu..short for Anwar..a taxi driver...and his friend..he drove us t o Oldham..where they crept upstairs..and I sat downstairs by myself watching TV..

By the time we got home it was hometime..and nobody had even realised what we'd done!

We did this about every two weeks...one day when we stopped off in Oldham..a car pulled up..and there was a guy in it..Abid...he looked at me and threw me some keys...pass them to Anu..I did as I was told.. he looked at me and said who's that..she's Bushra's best mate said Anu...Abid was smitten..and that was my first love...

We met regularly..and did nothing more than talk..but I was so in love...he was 27 too..but at the time I had no idea how wrong this was..

On one of our trips..we came back late and mum caught us!!!

I was in so much trouble..mum was heartbroken & watched me like a hawk..

Abid was in Pakistan - unbeknown to me he had gone to get married...one day I'd woken up from a bad dream in which he' d been murdered...and then at about 2pm Bushra came and just looked at me and said he's gone..I cried so much..but secretly..she told me some old enemies had murdered him and dumped his body in a dam..

I pined and withdrew into a shell...that was the tragic end of my first unrequited love.

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