Hard Love

Tayla Green lives the perfect life, or so it seems, being the girlfriend of world famous popstar Zayn Malik renders her the envy of girls throughout the world...

There's just one problem; Harry Styles.

For two years the sexual tension and the sheer desire for more than friendship has built up between the two...

Will Tayla follow her heart into a land of uncertainity?

or

Will she stay where it's comfortable?

Better the devil you know, right?

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16. Awoke Alone.

 

The sun broke through the curtains as I lay content in Harry’s arms. His heavy breathing signalled he was still asleep which was just perfect. The longer we lay here the longer our happiness would last. I knew the moment we awoke I had to tell him everything I found out yesterday, it would shatter him at the thought Matthew may not be his. There was a soft knock on the door and Louis appeared in the gap.

“Is he still sleeping?” He whispered.

“What do you think?”

“Shut up you. I still can’t believe he started to remember. I knew you would be the key to unlock him again.”

“I guess you were right.”

“How did he take it?” Louis sat on the edge of the bed gently, nursing his steaming hot tea.

“I haven’t told him yet.”

“What?”

“I didn’t want to spoil yesterday, it was so perfect having him back and now I have to ruin it all by telling him.”

“By telling him what?” Harry asked, turning to face us both with a puzzled look.

“I’ll leave you guys too it.” Louis cowardly hurried out of the room.

“Erm…”

“Look if you have found someone else I understand I just –“

“Sshh, Harry. I haven’t found anyone else; I’m in love with you.”

“So what is it then? Come on tell me.”

I reached over to the bedside cabinet and picked up my phone.

“What are you doing?”

I handed Harry the phone and watched his expression drop as he scrolled through the photos.

“What…huh?” Was all he could manage to say.

“I snuck into Abigail’s house yesterday afternoon, I was looking for evidence to back up our claims and I guess I stumbled onto a minefield of evidence.”

There was a silence as Harry kept scrolling.

“So, this is in Abigail’s house?”

“Yes, Harry.”

Harry jumped out of bed, quickly covering his modesty with a pair of grey boxers.

“What are you doing?”

“Going to see this for myself!” He announced scraping together pieces of clothing we had thrown in passion last night.

“I’m coming with you.”

“No you’re not. LOUIS!” Harry shouted.

Louis came rushing back into the room.

“Make sure Tayla stays here with you. I’m going to Abigail’s and I do not want her anywhere near Tayla. Who knows what she’s capable of?”

“I’ll come with you mate.” Louis demanded, still holding his cat clad mug of tea.

“No you won’t. I want to go alone.”

Before we could both protest anymore, Harry was grabbing Louis’ car keys on the way out the door. When he reached the elevator he turned back.

“Tayla, send me her address. Now.”

Harry’s stubborn tone of voice was such a turn on but right now it wasn’t the time or the place so I had to control myself. I sent him Abigail’s address and watched as he headed to her house. Louis swung his arm around my shoulders and led me back inside his apartment.

“Relax, kid. He’ll be back before you know it.”

I smiled but I wasn’t so sure I believed him; none of us could be quite sure what Abigail was capable of anymore, I couldn’t help but worry about Harry. As I began to relax next to Louis on the sofa a searing pain ripped through my abdomen, I bucked forward in agony.

“Tayla! Are you ok?” Louis asked, panicking.

I held my stomach, unable to answer until the pain subsided.

“What the hell was that?” Louis asked, his face was ashen with worry.

“I don’t know, maybe I ate too much?”

Truth was I hadn’t eaten all day as I had been feeling nauseous. It wasn’t the first time I felt this pain, I had been having waves of crippling stomach cramps for days now, I figured it was stress related but now I wasn’t so sure.

“Always knew you were full of gas.” Louis joked; it still amazed me how quickly he was able to flick from one emotion to the next.

"What's wrong Tayla?" Louis asked half way through the film, he never did have the concentration span to watch a film the whole way through.
"Nothing." I lied, listing everything that was presently troubling me would take an age and I really couldn't be bothered.
"Oh come on, I know you better than that. Talk to me." He had the most persuasive tone, the same one Harry and Zayn possessed. I always wondered if it was something taught to them in 'popstar school'.
"Everything. I'm scared, Louis." I admitted, nervous butterflies set in my stomach as I said the words.
"Scared of what, Tayla?" He asked, his face was contorted in a worried expression, exactly what I didn't want to see right now, I hated pity.
"Scared that I'm going to lose him to her once again, scared that I'll forever be blamed for Zayn's demise and scared that I'll never forgive myself." Next to lying, admitting how I really felt was the hardest thing for me to do.
"Oh Tayla, you're a silly girl you know that right?" Louis patronised.
I screwed my face up at him and shook my head, knowing he wasn't quite finished yet.
"Number one, regardless of what some of the 'fans' and the stupid media say, Zayn wasn't your fault. You were a victim and everyone around you, the ones that really matter, knows that. You have to forgive yourself." I sighed listening to his speech, I didn't quite believe it.
"Most importantly, you need to get this stupid idea that Harry would ever choose Abigail over you out of your head. He's proven time and time again that you're who he loves and wants to be with, start -"
Louis paused and watched as I grimaced in pain again, clutching my stomach.
"Tayla, what the hell is going on?" He asked.
I breathed in deeply, willing the pain to subside and it eventually did.
"I don't know, I've had this on and off for the past week. I don't know what it is."
Louis jumped up from his seat.
"Come on." He reached his hand out for me to take it.
"What?"
"I'm taking you to get checked out."
"No Lou, we have to wait here for Harry."
"Get up. Harry is a big boy, he can let himself in." 
I tried to argue but knew Louis was right; I was no use in this state anyway.

We arrived at the hospital in a taxi, thanks to Harry having taken the car. "How can I help?" The receptionist asked.
Louis took control and explained everything to her, even giving her my details that I was surprised he knew. Thankfully the wait to see a consultant nurse wasn't too long.
"So you have been having pains?" He asked, looking at the computer screen.
"Yes. It comes and goes but it's quite strong."
"I see. Any dizzyness? Sickness?"
"Both, sometimes. I think its stress related." 
"Is there a chance you could be pregnant, Tayla?"
"Erm..."
Louis shot me a look and smirked, I guess the nurse had just confirmed his suspicions.
"We're careful so I doubt it."
"Right, I'm going to take you through to the internal scanning room. You will be scanned and a blood test taken then once we have the results we can take action from there."
"I'm not pregnant, surely?" I asked the nurse, hoping for reassurance.
"I couldn't possibly say until we have your results. Please follow me." 
Louis grabbed my arm as we walked down the white washed, disinfectant smelling corridor.
"Looks like Harry's going to definitely be a dad now." I looked at him in despair. "Oh crap, it could be Zayn's too, couldn't it?" I shrugged my shoulders, I had no idea.
Louis followed me into the examination room before realising exactly what was going to happen. 
"Oh, they are going to stick that up...oh god. Shall I go?" He looked hilariously flustered.
"I don't mind if you want to stay, just stay up this end." I motioned to behind my head.
Louis clutched my hand as the examination begun, his eyes fixed solely on the scanning screen to avoid any awkward stares.
"So what do we look out for?" Louis asked.
"Unless you're a trained medical professional I doubt you will know what you're about to see." The doctor laughed at him, Louis flushed crimson in colour. I’d never seen him this awkward before but it was cute. 
"I see." The doctor said.
"You see what?" I asked impatiently.
"Well you're definitely not pregnant." 
"So what is wrong with me?" I should have been relieved but it seemed by the look on the doctors face pregnancy was the least of my worries.
"I'm going to give these results to your consultant and he will be able to explain further." The doctor said before exiting the room.
"I'm scared, Lou." I admitted again as I put my trousers back on.
"Don't be scared, whatever it is I'm sure it's not that bad, they aren't rushing you off anywhere after all." 
"I guess." 
We waited on the cold metal seats in the waiting area for over 45 long minutes before my consultant arrived, beckoning us to join him in his room. The wait was excruciating, my mind wondered in a thousand horrific places and I ended up more scared then I was before. 
"So what is it, doc?" Louis asked, his anxiousness was now very clear.
"I am afraid your problem is a little bit more serious than pregnancy, as I'm sure you are now aware, it seems that you are going through what is known as an 'early menopause'..."
"The menopause? Isn't that what old women get when their periods stop?" Louis bluntly asked.
"Yes, that's it. It seems, Tayla, your reproductive system has begun closing down."
"It has? Does this mean I have to go through IVF if I want children?" I asked, practically stunned and confused by what I was hearing.
"I'm afraid you will never be able to get pregnant."
The room fell silent at that moment, it hit me, I was never going to have a baby, I was now practically redundant as a female in my mind.
"Oh. Right. Well thank you doctor." I stood up from my seat unable to focus on anything in the room.
"Wait, I have some prescriptions for you here. There are medicines available to slow down the process and also to help with the effects. Here are some pamphlets about support groups in your area." 
"Thank you." 
I walked out of the hospital followed closely by a, for once, silent Louis. I walked and walked until my legs began to hurt. We sat down on the wall, outside of a residential area. Louis put his arm around my shoulder to comfort me.
"Are you ok, Tayla?" He asked, hesitantly. I had never seen Louis so quiet before.
"I don't know." I really didn’t, I was just numb.
Tears began falling down my face but I wasn't crying properly. I felt disoriented. 
"It will be ok, Tayla. There's always adoption."
I didn't respond, I didn't care what other options there were just that I would never be able to have a family of my own and it devastated me. Louis' phone began vibrating.
"Harry?" I asked. Louis jumped up.
"Shit, he says she's gone mad, he told me to get to him fast. Shit." 
Louis dialled a cab as he spoke and it wasn't long till we were on our way. Immediately my problem had to be put on hold, Harry needed us and that was all that mattered.

We arrived outside of Abigail's house; Louis gasped at the condition of the house just as I had when I first saw it a few days ago.
"How are we going to get inside?" Louis asked.
"Follow me." 
I scaled the back gate in record time and quickly scoured the garden looking for something to help me break in, I could see nothing. I stood still panicking; our quest seemed harder and harder as the minutes went by. Louis tried the door first and then the window, success, the window wasn't locked. We squeezed through the small window as quietly as possible, we did not want Abigail to know we were here, I was the last person she would want to see.
"Please, just come out." Harry's voice boomed through the house from upstairs. "Matthew is crying; he needs his mum." 
We followed the voice to the top of the stairs. Harry noticed us and raised his finger to his lips. I noted quickly Harry's hair was a mess, he had scratches up his arms, bleeding slightly and his top was torn. 
"You ruined everything." Abigail cried from the other side of the door, she had locked herself in the bathroom. “We could have been so happy, Harry. I love you so much but you couldn’t leave that bitch alone. You should have believed me.”

I winced as Abigail called me a bitch; the viciousness in her voice was prominent. 
"Nothing has been ruined, Abigail. Please come out, I'm worried about you, Matthew is worried about you." Harry begged, his voice was so desperate I felt a strong urge to help him even though I knew I couldn’t. 
"Matthew doesn't need me, he has you. Just take him, just go. Please." Abigail wailed. 
I was tempted to say something, anything, to calm the situation. I could sense what was being implied and despite the fact I disliked Abigail I did not want her to come to harm. Harry nudged a tearful Matthew towards me; I scooped him up in my arms and took him into his room. I sat him on my lap on his small bed, cuddling him into me as he sobbed.
"What's mummy doing? Why won't she come out to see me?" He questioned.
"Mummy is just being silly; it's nothing to worry about Matty. I promise." I knew it was a promise I wasn't certain could be kept but I had to say anything to keep him calm, his little sad face was more than I could take.
I gave Matthew my phone to play games on as I shut the door to drown out the arguing between Abigail and Harry, the scene was remarkably reminiscent to my own childhood and I had to protect this little boy from going through everything I did. I desperately wanted to help Harry but I knew Matthew needed me too; he was too young to take care of himself. As soon as I began to draw with Matthew the thuds started. I poked my head out of the door to see Louis and Harry shoulder banging against the bathroom door, trying to break in. 
"Keep him in there!" Harry ordered to me.
Less than five minutes had passed when Louis came running into Matthew’s room.
"999, now!" He shouted before running out again. I did as I was told while fighting against a struggling Matthew who was desperately trying to get out of the door.
"I want to see my mummy!" He demanded, he clearly knew something was dreadfully wrong.
The ambulance arrived very quickly, I tried to keep Matthew as occupied as possible but he was begging me in tears to see his mum. Thankfully Harry walked in the room shortly after.
"Daddy!" Matthew cried, running to him and hugging his long legs.
"It's ok Matty, mummy will be ok." Harry soothed his tears best he could, hugging him tightly.
I looked at him and mouthed the words 'will she?' Harry shrugged his shoulders and mouthed back: 'her wrists, blood, everywhere'. Louis joined us in the room shortly after.
"Harry, the police want to talk to you." Harry nodded and quickly left the room. 
"How is she?" I asked Louis in a hushed tone.
"Stable, I think."
The police questioned us all separately at the house for over an hour, Harry had the longest interview. Thankfully they believed her wounds were self-inflicted. Harry explained that after confronting Abigail about the shrine and her lies she went crazy, punching and kicking him before running into the bathroom with a huge carving knife. Zayn flashed into my mind, it was almost like my life was on repeat the moment.


I set the dining room table impeccably and placed each of our plates down before calling the boys to eat. I had cooked us all Spaghetti Bolognese with garlic bread as I was told it was Matthew's favourite. Matthew was staying with us while his mum was in hospital being treated for attempted suicide and whatever other problems she so clearly had. All of the boys walked in sloth like, exhausted from the day we had all endured. 
"Thank you, Tayla. This looks scrummy." Matthew adorably said.
"That's ok, little man. Better eat it all." I poked my tongue out at him and he giggled before tucking into his meal. I could feel Louis' and Harry's eyes burn into us as they stared, I could guess what Louis was thinking. After dinner I bathed Matthew before taking him to bed.
"Could you tell me a story, please?" He begged as I switched the bedside lamp on. 
"I don't know any stories." I insisted, feeling exhausted, I just wanted to relax.
"Please Tayla." His little puppy dog eyes won me over in no time and I began to make up a story.
"There once was a little prince named Matthew who lived in a village not far from here. Matthew lived alone with his mother, a kind lady with very little money. Matthew spent every day dreaming of the king who lived in a nearby palace. There was a special reason he dreamt of the King, he was Matthew's dad..." As I told the story Matthew slowly drifted off to sleep peacefully.
"You're a natural." Harry whispered as he peaked through the door.
"No, I'm not." I insisted, brushing past him.
Harry grabbed me and spun me around.
"What's wrong with you?" He questioned, his arms either side of my head as I stood back against the wall.
"I'm just tired; it’s been a long day." I refused to look at him, my eyes fixed permanently on his white Converse.
"Tell me about it." 
Harry leaned in and kissed me softly, I met his rhythm immediately and we kissed passionately but tenderly, like we had all the time in the world. Harry broke away slowly, my eyes stayed closed a moment longer, lingering in the feeling his touch left.
"You're amazing, you know?" He smiled at me.
"Is that right?"
"Yes. The things you do for me, the things you do to me..." He took my hand a gently placed in on his bulging jeans. "Amazing." 
"Maybe we should do something about that?" I motioned to his bulge and smiled.
Harry picked me up and threw me over his shoulder as if I weighed nothing at all; he took me to the front room where we would be sleeping as there were no spare beds, just a mattress laid out on the floor. He laid me down as if I was the most delicate thing in the world and climbed in next to me, pulling the sheet over us. We stared into eachothers eyes for a while, embracing the alone time, the quiet we so rarely experienced at the moment. Right now not a single thing in the world mattered but us, I loved him beyond words. This time I initiated the kiss, it was forceful, I clutched his shoulder to steady myself from totally jumping on him. As our lips moved in unison, Harry’s tongue brushed against my bottom lip, I met his with mine and he began massaging it slowly. I took his bottom lip in between my teeth, pulling him on top of me. Harry broke away, positioning himself between my legs and quickly pulling my shirt above my head, I unhooked my bra as Harry threw his T shirt off. We were hungry for each other; clothes were nothing but a hindrance. Harry began kissing down my neck; I shuddered as he left an icy cold trail on my most sensitive spots. His lips moved down my collarbone, he gripped a breast in his large hand before sucking hard on the nipple. Harry moved between each breast, alternating between nibbling gently and sucking hard on the nipples, surely leaving his mark on both. As he moved lower down my body, planting soft kisses on my abdomen, he undid the button on my jeans. Wasting no time they were soon off, my panties closely following behind. I felt totally at ease laying naked with Harry’s eyes hungrily burning into me.

“Remember I said I owe you one?”

“Yeah…”

Harry grinned before diving between my legs, his mass of curls brushed against my thighs as he began slowly but intensely licking my clit. The pleasure was too intense, I gripped hold of his curls as one of his hands slid up to my breasts, twirling and pinching the nipple. Waves of pleasure washed over me, I was desperate to moan out but still aware of our roommates I suppressed it into a small noise.

“Oh, fuck.”

I moaned louder as Harry slid two fingers inside of me, curling them to hit my g spot as he thrust them in and out fast.

“Come for me baby.” Harry demanded. “I want to taste you.”

He began licking faster, putting more pressure than ever on my most sensitive spots and very quickly I felt my stomach tighten as the pleasure built up till I hit my climax. I bit into my own arm to suppress the moans as my back arched and my thighs tightened around Harry’s neck. Harry slowed his pace to allow me to come down from my high. He moved up the bed, smiling from ear to ear.

“You are so fucking hot.” He whispered breathlessly.

“Fuck me, Harry.” I begged.

He positioned his rock hard cock at my entrance, teasing me, knowing I longed to feel him inside of me. He brought his fingers up to my lips, brushing softly against them; I sucked them as I stared deep into his eyes. Harry thrust inside of me forcefully, his fingers subduing any noise I made as he quickly began pounding into me, just how I liked it.

“I’m not going to last long, baby.” He whispered desperately into my ear.

Harry removed his fingers from my mouth and replaced them with a kiss. All at once I felt the familiar waves of pleasure begin to intensify; he could sense I was about to climax again so brought my hand between our bodies. I quickly brought myself to an orgasm, this time I bit down hard onto Harry’s shoulder. As I tightened around him Harry shuddered as he reached his peak, emptying himself inside of me whispering lots of curse words. He collapsed next to me on the mattress, both of us out of breath. I curled into the crook of his arm and held on tight to his clammy skin.

“I love you so much, Tayla.” Harry said kissing the top of my head.

“I love you too, Mr Styles.”

 

The next morning I awoke to find I was sleeping alone. I could hear Harry’s voice very faintly from the dining room so I threw on his t shirt and boxers and tip toed down the hall. Harry was sat at the table eating cereal with Matthew. The smile on his face was so bright; he was the happiest whenever he was with Matthew. He made an excellent dad. It hit me suddenly what I would never be able to give him. I would never be able to have Harry’s kids and he deserved to be with someone that could.

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