One girls, one night, one too many, 5 guys, no names, one wild night out. When Gracie ends up in bed with One Direction she has to work out which one before things turn from worse


6. Mr. Strips



“Well, I guess that’s me then, I’m the sober driver tonight…It has been an honor Gracie.” He took my hand and kissed it softly, then left. He left!

"But…but…What’s about your name," My voice was weak and tired and whiney but I didn’t care. I groaned loudly and flopped backwards, forgetting the garden behind me.

“Ah fuck!” I yelped again. This was not my night.


“Ummm, I don’t mean to sound like your mother. Buuut, are you ok?” I lay as still as I could and really hoped he wasn’t talking to me. I could almost guarantee it was Mr. Strips.

The party killer. Mind you, he had a strong distinctive Doncaster accent. It was quite sexy though, I could imagine, no I couldn’t imagine him saying anything.

“Hello? Did you fall asleep?” I tried not to laugh at this, but everything is so much funnier when you’re not supposed to be moving. I now realise my drunken sides were starting to shine through though. First clingy, then emotional I had a feeling now would be the giggly stage. Greeeeat.

“Ello’ der” I screamed when the face of Mr. Strips lay right beside me, near inches from my face.

“How did you-?! Why are you in the garden?” I lay there, to dead to sit my drunken ass up.

He looked up at the sky “Well, I mean, could ask you the same thing. What are you doing in the garden?” He turned his head to face mine.

“But I asked you first, you can’t answer a question with another question. It’s just not customary.” My voice was getting higher and higher as I spoke.

“Right, but really, I only got into the garden because I thought you were dead and you didn’t answer my first question so, I’m pretty sure you have to answer me first. Technically you answered my question, with a question, that is not customary,” Oh this guy was good. A grin spread across my face, so I bit my lip to hide it. I mustn’t show him he’s winning.

“Well, your whole plan is slowly failing on you,” I retorted, looking back to the open sky. “Cause you just answer my question while asking another question, therefore, I see no need for us to converse anymore.” I grinned up at the stars. I like this one.

He chuckled loudly beside me. I think that’s code for ‘you win’ “Well played ma’ lady.”

“Thank you, now as lovely as this was, I need a drink.” I made a move to sit up, but, I couldn’t manage to get my drunken self up.


So, lay in the garden silently while Mr. Strips had already got himself up and was standing in front of my legs. I don’t even want to know what kind of view he was getting. My legs weren’t exactly in the most lady-like position, I just hoped I had my sexy under ware on tonight.

“I don’t think you can get a drink from there,” He chuckled.

“Why not, the drink selection is brilliant from where I’m sitting,” I giggled at my attempt of a ponsy British accent, Mr. Stripts grinned down at me. “No you’re probably right but I’m in a little bit of a predicament you see,” I tried to meet his eyes, but I couldn’t see anything past my boobs. Cool life huh.

Stripy lay back down beside me, this time on his stomach. Why didn’t I think of that? He leaned his face next to mine “And what might that be?”

“You have to promise not to laugh,”

“I promise,” he smiled while saying this.

I was tempted to put my pinkie towards him.

“You’re a bad liar” I tell him “I’m stuck, ok. I had a few to many and now I can’t get up. Buuuut you seem to me like a lovely gentleman soooo, maybe you could, ya know, help me up?” I bit my bottom lip and looked up at him threw my eyelashes.

“Don’t bit your lip,” He commanded, I let it go immediately “It’s distracting.” Did I mention I liked this guy? Dominant yet classy and cute.

My kinda guy.

My self-conscious growled “Yeah just like the other 4 boys whose names you didn’t get.”

“That’s not my fault! They left before I could ask! Every time!”

“Stop talking to yourself and get back into reality will you.”

“Yes ma’am!”

My inner battle distracted me from something vitally important. Like the importance between life…and death.

“…And you are?” Did he just say his name?

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” I screamed! I missed his name again!

“What?! What is it?! What’s wrong?!” Stripy stroked my face soothingly.

“I missed it! Again! My God,” To any random bystander and Mr. Strips I guess, I would sound like total lunatic I was. To me, well this was just my inner thoughts being broadcast to the whole world. I had a mini tantrum in the garden, thrusting my fists to the ground. It felt kinda good.

“Excuse me, miss are you ok?” Some random bystander asked in front of us.

“I don’t know, are you ok?” Mr. Strips looked down at me.

“Oh I’m fine, but do you know any good physiatrists?” I asked shyly before I burst out laughing. Oh I really did need some help.

I heard Stripy tell the random stranger I’m fine and I probably had one too many. One minute together and he already knew me better than my own mother. That reminds me, I should probably ring mum tomorrow.

“What’s your name, stripy?” I stroked his face softly. His skin was so soft it was addictive. He leaned into my hand and sighed.

“You are quite drunk aren’t you,” now, I could lie and say I wasn’t, even though he wouldn’t believe me, or I could admit he was right and go home. I choose the earlier.

“I’m not that drunk. Kinda,” I let his perfect face go and looked back up at the sky. I should probably get out of the garden. How did I get here again?

“Come on, let’s get you inside before you freeze to death,” Stripy pulled me to my feet and into his chest. It was then and there I decided to play dirty. He though I was drunk…which I was, but I was sober enough to be able to seduce a guy…I hoped. But you know what! Who cares if I didn’t know his name! I haven’t done it all night so way start now!

I hugged him tight “Thanks for pulling me from the garden, I don’t know what I would have done without you,” I rested my head on his chest. His perfectly sculpted chest by the feel of it, god what was it with these guys!

“You would probably still be in the garden,” He chuckled taking my hand. This felt legit!

“Hey, do you work out?” I asked suddenly. He looked a little taken back by my question, but smiled appreciatively.

“A little,” he chuckled sweetly “Do you?” Ha! Yeah, and Barak Obama’s my sister. Maybe if I said I did, he’d tots dig me. Believe me, I needed all the help I could get in this drunken state.

“Yeah, I like a good run in the morning,” to the mail box “And I do a bit of water work,” In the shower. See, I wasn’t completely lying.

Strips walked me to the outdoor bar and ordered himself a drink “What would you like?”


Oh my God! I just said that out loud! I slapped my hand over my mouth and left the need to pretend I’m dying. If I just collapsed to the ground and pretended to stop breathing, maybe he’d leave me there.

“Well…I mean, I don’t mind. Your place or mine?” Am I dreaming? Did he really just say that?

I picked my mouth up off the floor and mentally worked on an appropriate answer…wow big words for a drunkeser person. Speaking of, maybe I should just order a drink; pretend the last 20 seconds didn’t happen. That could work.

“Ermmmm, can I please haveeee, ummm. I’ll have a beer please,” I leaned against the bar, looking out at the garden. “Those trees, they look quite nice. Very green,” I looked over at the trees. Most people seemed to have migrated back inside due to the cold and I was resisting the very large urge to look at strips. Don’t look, don’t look, do not look.

Ok look!

His stance last matched mine, but he looked way sexier. I took a mental picture of him in my head, zoomed out too see the background and there was a horse standing next to him! Or maybe I should be a beaver? Beavers are cute right. I wonder if, if he thinks I’m sexy. Ha! That would mean he thinks horses are sexy. But maybe he does! He could have like, a horse fetish…

Oh my God, way off track here!

But seriously, I should look into the whole horse fetish thing, sounds kind of kinky.

“Do you…”

“Would you…” We both spoke at the same time, interjecting each other’s sentences. We were synchronised in the perfectest way. Is that even a word?

“You first,” I nodded. I was only going to ask if you had a horse fetish. No big deal.

“No, no, ladies first.” He gestured for me to talk.

“Seriously, just talk. I have nothing constructive to say if I’m honest,” Just some more drunken ramblings.

“No its fine, you go,” I heaved a dramatic sigh. This guy, he was getting on my last nerve actually.

“Fine. Do you have a horse fetish?” I swivelled my drink around in my glass while strips spat his drink out all over the ground, then doubled over in laughter.

“You’r-Oh God- You is so adorable!” He choked out through his laughter. So was that a yes or a no to my question? I looked back to strips who was still shaking with laughter but trying to compose himself. Trying being the operative word.

He wasn’t fooling me though. I could see it in his eyes.

“You totally have a horse fetish!” I accused “What do you do with them? Or are you into whips and shit. Horses get whipped right. Oh! Oh! Are you like that 50 Shades of Grey guy?”I jumped up and down on the stop getting a little too excited. If he was, I’d totally jump. If he wasn’t, I was expecting him to run a mile to be honest. That shits kinda hot though. He covered my mouth with his hand, his face was looking pretty serious.


Maybe he didn’t want me to tell the world his horse fetish.

“Shhh, that last thing I need is someone to publish this,” He whispered quietly. Was he talking to himself?

“You know, talking to yourself is the first sign of craziness,” I informed him. But all fun and games seemed to be pushed aside. His eyes were wide, scanning the court yard instead of me. I internally frowned, externally pouted. Or is a frown the same thing as a pout? Hey, my glass is empty again!

I shrugged out of Strips glass and hit the bar again. “’suces me, came I pleeease have the same. Again. Agaaaaain. The same drink I was having before, but, but again! Please! Thank you!” I looked back to see if Strips was in need of another drink. Pretty sure his glass was empty after he spat it out.

“Hey, do youu-uur not even here anymore. Seriously! Can I not just have one guy!” I screamed at the heavens! I was no believer in God…should I be? Maybe this is him punishing me! I don’t believe in him so he takes away my dick for the night? Cool guy.

“But wait, I’d have to believe in him to believe that he’s punishing me, right?”

“Whose punishing you, Miss?” The very attractive bar tender asked politely.

“God. Well, I think he is, I don’t actually know. How do you know if he’s punishing you? Is it like when your mum grounds you do you think?”

“I really don’t know how to answer your question, Miss. Do you have any friends with you? I think you should find them,” The tender chuckled at me. How dear he! I’m drunk, s’not my fault though, and God may be punishing me. Not that’ll I’ll know because clearly, Mr. Bartender didn’t listen to his mummy’s bed time stories.

Maybe if I do a little dancing, he’ll unpunished me. Yes, I shall do some dance! To the dance floor!

I thrust my arms in the air like superman…I’m sad to report, nothing happened.

“To the dance floor!” I took my drink, slid off the bar and decided walking to the dance floor would be my best option.

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