New Life

Maddie's terrifying past is behind her, she's ready to start a new perfect life with her boyfriend Harry, and best friends Zayn and Louis. She's happy, free, relaxed, and in love. Will a simple mistake ruin everything for her future? Will a simple 5 minuets change her life forever? *Sequel to 'Remembering Katy Perry'. You might have a hard time following along if you haven't read the first book, so check it out(:*

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21. Broken

Maddie's Pov

"Maddie, wake up love."

The smooth voice eases me out of my sleep. With tired eyes, I turn expecting to see Harry, but find Zayn laying next to me with a soft smile. Wait, why am I in bed with Zayn? Where's Harry? Why does Zayn not have a shirt on? Why don't I?! He quickly reads my confusion and his smile disappears.

 "What's wrong?"

"Why am I in bed with you, Zayn?"

Now it's his turn to be confused. He moves from being propped up on his elbow, to a sitting position to get a better look at me. "What do you mean?"

"Zayn. Why am I shirtless, in a bed, under the covers with you, who is shirtless to? And where's my boyfriend?"

He looks as if he's been struck, emotion clear on his face. Before I can even ask him about it, he hides it and become unreadable. What's going on? "Harry left two hours ago. You came in here and asked if you could take a nap with me. Some thing about nightmares" he answers coolly. 

Why is he upset with me? It's not like we did anything. Right? Panic starts to well up inside me, thinking about things we could of done. What if we did? What if Harry finds out? He'll never speak to me again!

"Zayn. We didn't do anything, did we?" I ask urgently, flicking my eyes toward our shirts lying on the floor. 

"Don't be stupid" he snaps. "We decided in the bathroom that was the end of that."

I ignore the slight sting I feel from his tone and try to focus. Why can't I remember anything?! The bathroom, bathroom. Suddenly everything starts flooding back to me. Bit by bit I start to remember every thing that happened today: the fight between Harry and I, the cutting, being caught by Zayn, Harry and I making up, having sex with Zayn on the floor, talking with Harry and pretending it never happened, him leaving to go to the store or something, walking in here and asking to lie down with Zayn, and now this. Iv'e really dug myself a hole I can't get out of. 

"Oh my God. Zayn, we had sex.." I pant, starting to sweat a little, trying to process everything that's happened today. 

He hops out of bed and throws his shirt on before answering me, his voice now ice cold. "Yeah, well. We all make mistake, right?" With out another word he storms out of the room, nearly slamming the door and leaving me, confused and hurt, sitting on the bed. 

Is that what I am to him now? His mistake? The one girl he'll look back on and say, 'Oh, yeah. That girl was the biggest mistake of my life. I wish I never met her.' No, I can't be. I won't let him think of me that way. I still want to be his best friend! The person he can trust with his life, and nothing less.

I throw the blanket off and run out of the room, not bothering to shut the door. "Where's Zayn?" I gasp, looking around at the boys in the living room. They kind of stare at me, mouths hanging open. What the hell? 

Louis pops up and runs toward me, wrapping his arms around my body. 

"What the hell are you doing, Lou?!" I shout, clearly annoyed with his games.

"Ehm, you're not wearing a shirt, love. Or a bra."

I glance down in horror and see he's right. I forgot to put my clothes back on!

"Oh my God!" I shriek, pushing Lou off and running back into Zayn's room. How could I forget my clothes?! God, what am I going to forget next? My name?

I throw my sports bra and tank top back on and make my way out to the living room, taking my time so the red can cease from my face. That was mortifying. I don't understand how I can forget to put clothes on! I poke me head around the corner, and the boy's laughter stops. Niall takes one look at me and cracks up again. 

"Shut-up, Niall!' Liam hisses, hitting him on the the chest. Niall takes a pillow and bury's his face in it to stop his laughter.

"Yeah, ok. Grow-up guys. It's not like you haven't ever seen boobs before. Now, where's Zayn?" I ask, glancing around. 

Lou points the door, and mumbles something under his breath. Niall is still laughing his ass off into the pillow, and Liam looks almost disappointed. He stands up and walks toward me. 

"Can I talk to you, please?" It's more of a statement then and question as he drags me off into the guest room. Does he know? Does he know about Zayn and I? No, he can't. Unless Zayn told him. Why would Zayn tell him?! We agreed not to tell anybody!

He shuts the door behind him and sighs. "Maddie.. Why?"

"Why what, Liam?" I ask nervously, fiddling with my hands. 

"You know exactly what. Zayn told me everything, Maddie."

Fuck. 

"I don't know why" I answer quietly. My heart starts to ache and the throbbing in my head from this morning returns. I don't want to be having this conversation, and I definitely don't want to be having this conversation with Liam. 

He sighs again, and runs his hand through his hair. "I honestly thought you were better than this, Maddie."

I give a sarcastic laugh and smirk at him, hiding the hurt I feel from the statement. My heart ache worsens, and suddenly I'm twelve again, being scolded by Michael for trying a cigarette. I was trying to fit in and the girls said if I did it, every one would love me. That's all I ever wanted in my life. For people to like me. He caught me in the back yard, spiting and coughing up the nasty smoke. "What the hell are you doing?!" He screamed at me. I explained to him what the girls said and his only response was exactly what Liam said. "I honestly thought you were better than this, Maddie."

The smirk fades and the walls I've built up finally collapse. Hit after hit after hit finally took it's toll on me. I'm broke. Ryan got exactly what he wanted. He didn't want me to die that night. He wanted to do so much worse. He wanted to make sure, one way or another, I would be so scarred and damaged that no body could love me. That I would end up alone for the rest of my life, my biggest fear.

"I need help, Liam" I whisper. 

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