Modernist Poetry

In G&T we are currently studying modernism. As my main project I am researching modernist architecture however as a sub-subject I am doing modernsist poetry.
I will put some on here and any feedback would be great so that I can improve for my overally project.
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1. One

*This one was a team effort and so do not think I wrote this all myself, it was a group piece from a select few of uber talented year eights and nines (and one year ten)*

 

 

My mind is all but too fragmented,

My soul is all but too my own,

I can see everything that others feel,

But can not feel them for myself,

All the lines have disapeared,

Who knows what lies beyond.

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