Decisions

When Kayla decides to move in with her mum, leaving her Dad behind, she thinks it's going to be just like the old days. Determined to have a better life, she sets off, wanting to start over. But once she's met Pierre, her Mum's new boyfriend, she realises it will never be the same again...

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3. Goodbye

It was quite a while until I heard the doorbell sound, my Mum only a few metres away, ready to take me away forever. Now, I grab my suitcase, tugging it down the stairs, whilst taking deep breaths, my lungs filling with the feel of nervousness. What if my Mum had changed? What if she is now completely different? There are many questions I'm asking myself, but when I reach the bottom of the stairs, and see my mum for the first time in 11 years, I'm fully reassured.

We stand there in awkward silence for a moment. I guess my Mum's just taking in my appearance - I've changed a lot since I was 3. I'm wearing skinny jeans; a maroon hoodie; my converse shoes and a pretty purple flower hairclip in my hair. I think I looked alright, but obviously Mum didn't...

"Kayla, why are you wearing that?" She asks, and I suddenly feel so self-conscious, I can't help but look down at myself, checking I look fine.

"What do you mean?" I ask, my mouth in a perfect 'o' shape, and my eyes staring down the corridor back at her.

She smiles. "You don't have to dress up nice to see me, you know. You look beautiful..." She trails off, her mouth forming a grin, and she runs over, pulling me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her, inhaling the smell of her flowery perfume, and holding on to her so tightly. It feels as if everything from my past is flooding back to me. How Mum had left, and I'd been so upset. How Dad had to look after me all on his own. How I struggled to tell the tale, even today. But when we come apart, I realise that I've been missing my Mum too much, even though I may not have shown it, and that deep down, I'd always been waiting for her to come back, the warmth of her skin brushing against my face, and the feel of her hands as she links them with mine. I'd always wanted her back.

We start down the pathway, dragging my suitcase behind us. Mum lifts the boot up, and I heave it in, before walking around to the side door, and pulling it open. I look up, to see my Dad watching me, his elbow pressed against the side of the doorway. I want to hug him, wave to him, say goodbye, but I know I can't. Not after what happened last night. It was his fault that I got upset, he doesn't deserve a goodbye.

I tuck my head in, seating myself inside the car. It's cleaner than it was all those years back, but that's probably because it used to contain all my baby toys, and story casettes. Mum gets in beside me, shutting the door behind her, and placing one hand on the wheel, the other holding the key.

"Are you ready?" She asks, smiling.

"You bet I am!" I say, giving her the thumbs up sign. She starts the engine, foot on the pedal, and pulls out of the driveway. I notice my Dad is still watching, eyeing every move. There's something about his eyes, that show every emotion he's expressing: mean, angry, hurt. I want to take back what I did, no matter how wrong that would be, but I know that's not possible. I wish I could say sorry, sinking into his arms once more. But I've done it. Ruined my chances. There's no going back. But then, I realise I have one more chance to show I care. One more chance to show I really love him. And just before we're about to turn the corner, out of his view, I lift my hand up - slow and heavy - and give him a small wave, the corners of my mouth spreading into a wide smile. I don't know if he saw it, I don't know if he reacted, because before I know it, we're driving off, my house soon a speck in the distance.

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