a chance to live forever


3. chapter three

Finding his car I settle him in the back and softly sing More Than This knowing that he would always fall asleep with his head in my lap. Just thinking about the memory brings burning tears into my eyes and my voice cracks. In a sleepy dazed voice Zayn said, “you remind me so much of her. From the way your eyes to the way you sing and know exactly what to say”. smiling sadly I quietly whisper thank you. Looking at him in the mirror while I drove I saw him smile and fall asleep.

In the long quiet drive back I decided I would tell him every thing when we got back to his place. Since I already knew how to get back there so well like the back of my hand it took us just over an hour. Several times during the ride I heard him mutter my name. I choose to call myself Cece just to protect him for the time being.

Once I let Zayn have a shower on the condition that he didn’t try anything stupid and that I could check on him every 5-10 minutes, I sat him down. Taking a deep breath I said gently “Zayn, hunny, I know Rose..” seeing his face light up at the sound of her name I just couldn’t do it. Breaking down in tears of my own I chocked out “ Rose was amazing and she loved you. Whenever we talked she wouldn’t stop talking about you. I loved her as well and she will always be missed.” taking another deep breath I worked on getting control of myself. Looking up I saw his eyes on me. They were shining with tears and for the first time in months I saw the swirling emotions of a deep love and a great painful sadness. Giving him a hug I felt him let some of that pain out. I knew then I had made the right choice for him. But what was it going to cost me?

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