Memories that keep coming back.

Jamie is bright, optimistic and overly forgiving, when she gets out of therapy caused by her physically abusive ex she meets a new boy who she can trust but history has a way of repeating its self.

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11. meaning

After a couple minutes I was ready to go. I was wearing a blue strapless ankle length dress that flowed and had a diamond encrusted belt, I had casual make up, and a pair of silver flats.
"Zayn this is way to much. Can't we just go to a McDonalds or something?" I said as we all filed one by one into the white limo, he twirled my straight brown hair in his fingers and laughed. "We already made reservations love." He said. "Right. Like that was hard for the one direction boys." I batted my eyes and sat back into the comfortable leather seat as Zayn sat next to me I see Harry on the other side and he gives me a smile I turn away and scoot closer to Zayn and wrap my arms around him as he closes the door. Louis gives the driver the location and we're off. "Did you hear about so and so..." or ''Well E! news did this interview on..." was basically the whole conversation on the way there and I felt like they weren't real people just another celebrity on a TV screen, I didn't talk much the whole night except to get my order, politely answer questions, and quietly warn Harry to stop touching my leg under the table. Once we finally got home I Thanked all the boys for such a lovely night and shook all their hands one by one giving them hugs and trying as discretely as possible to avoid Harry who hugged me extra close.
"We really should do this again some time but in a more casual place." I said gesturing to my dress. "I prefer fast food and sweatpants." We all laughed and said our good nights until it was only Zayn and I left by the door. "I really do love you." He said staring into my eyes and just as I thought I would say it back he picked me up and headed for the stairs. "You know I really can walk, you don't have to carry me everywhere." I said as we got to his room and he closed the door behind us. "I know but I like treating you special." and he leaned in for a kiss which turned into clothes flying in every direction. "Wait..." Zayn said, he was laying on top of me and he had nothing but boxers on, "Are you sure you're ready? I mean the last thing I want to do is rush you into this." I thought about Harry and all the abuse I've taken over the years and as I thought of how it would be nice to have sex that's not forced I said yes and kissed him then my pants came off and he stopped kissing me again. "What is this Jamie?" Zayn said giving me a almost horrified look, I looked down and saw the raw cuts on my legs from Harry, Oh god how could I forget that!? I can't tell Zayn he'll think i'm a whore. As tears came down my face I said ''I'm so sorry Zayn...I cut myself." and I was crying because there was nothing more I wanted to do then tell him the truth. Tears came to his eyes and he smiled "Jamie you're perfect and I want to show you that you don't have a single flaw on your body." and I started sobbing as he kissed each cut on my body and the whole night I really did feel like I didn't have a single flaw on me. He would point something out that I was insecure about and he would tell me how it makes me beautiful and for once I thought about how I was actually excited for the next time we would have sex. The next morning I woke up in Zayn's arms and I kissed him as I whispered "I love you.". His eyes opened and he said "You finally said it back." I blushed and we both sat up and I responded "I finally have someone that puts meaning in those words for me." 

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