Colorful Socks

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  • Published: 30 Nov 2012
  • Updated: 14 Jan 2014
  • Status: Complete
Have you ever thought something was lucky?Well i found something thats lucky.Well my parents bought me them but it truely is lucky.They bought them for me when i was about to die the first time,because i have cancer and all.Of course im okay right now atleast.I hope i dont have that feeling anymore. 6:59 Scares me half to death now.Im weaing my sock all day now.My Colorful Ones.



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13. Hold Me.

I get grounded by my parents, and there's no doubt that I'll be grounded when I die. I take the time to think over the list again, and honestly right now I don't want to do any of it. I just want to have one week of relaxing. One thing I do want though is to be held. Held by the one that loves me, and I love him. Thomas. Wait no. No. I shake my head. I'm over him remember? Nope not at all. Shut up brain! Nah. Why not? Because you still love him. Listen to me, my heart speaks. Okay. You still have feelings for him.

"No! I don't!" I scream.

"What's wrong?" Thomas asks.

Oh whoops. I'm at school and I just said that out load.

"Nothing," I lie.

"Right.. Tell me!" He begs.

"I just don't want ham sandwiches again for dinner."

"Mhk," he turns his attention back to the teacher.

My thoughts roam around freely again. What if he still liked me? I mean it wouldn't be the worse thing in the world to forgive him. I think he likes me still. No he doesn't. Shut up Brain! Your so confusing. I try to turn my attention to the teacher liked Thomas did but it don't help. Her dry voice doesn't cover up my thoughts. It never does. I hate Science.

Today though is my doctor appointment. That can be my excuse for not paying attention. Half of it is real half is not. I actually do have a appointment today but that's not why I'm not paying attention. I'm not because first of all this is a dumb subject and second my thoughts always take control- of everything.

I look at him wanting to just cry, but that's not a option. So, instead I spirit out of class to my locker to jam everything into my backpack. In less then a minute I run father down the hallway, making sure he isn't in site, though I'm not sure he would be, and then slow it down to a walk. My head hangs low, and the tears slowly make their way through my eyes. I walk out one of the back doors, making sure not to bump into any kids that like to be tardy to class. I pass through the doors, and run straight for home. My parents won't be home anyway, and i'll have enough time to think of what to do before school calls them. Okay calm down. Calm down!

Soon after I make it to my neighborhood, then to my road, and finally I reach my ugly old house. I reach in my backpack for the key. I unlock the door, slam it shut, and then lock it again. I slid my back in the process letting the thoughts reenter my head. He cheated on me with another girl. He told me he loved me, and I really do love him. It wasn't a joke when I told him that. He doesn't know how much pain he has caused me, right now actually. He's such a jerk, but why do I love him so much? It's not fair okay? Why do I have cancer? It just makes it all so much better.

"Calm down," I whisper to myself as I wipe the tears away. Just calm down a bit.

What do I do now? After running out of class, and back home. What do I do? Oh right. Maybe school won't catch me gone. Wow I'm stupid. Of course they would. My science teacher will tell them. Will tell them that I run out of class. Or maybe she thinks that I ran to the bathroom to throw up. Maybe! She might have just thought that, but who knows. I have no good luck what-so-ever. I wait there for at least an hour just crying. I guess she thinks I went to the bathroom. Awesome! One more hour until school is officially over, and two more hours until my parents come home. Although I'm supposed to go the doctors first. Crap! That leaves me like an hour to get ready.

 

                                                   *The Doctor's Appointment*

"I think you might actually be getting better. The cancer cells are taking odd courses that are very unique and different. We can't be exact when your last day will be, but we know it will be soon. You might get a few more days or weeks in before it get into your heart," The doctor states.

"So you don't know?" I ask as I play around with the junk on the table.

"I can estimate, but it wont be exact."

"Oh. Okay."

"Well that's all. You can leave whenever you want."

"I think I want to stick around in my room for a little longer. Thanks though," I stop moving my hand and look up at him.

"Alright then."

    

                                                        *Home*

"They don't know when it will reach my heart. That's it. Now can I go to my room?" I plead.

"Fine."

I walk to my room and shut the door. I skim over the walls that I pass. Remembering when Thomas was here. When he loved-fake loved me. I grab my phone and slide it open to a text message.

From Thomas<3:What happened to you at school today?

To Thomas<3: Shut up. Stop talking to me geez. Nothing happened.

From Thomas<3: Your such a bad liar. I told you I was sorry. Geez!

To Thomas<3: You did? When.

From Thomas<3: You said you loved me when you woke up last time. Do you not remember?

To Thomas<3: I did?

From Thomas<3: Yeah. You did. I said that I would never cheat on you again. You told me you loved me back.

To Thomas<3: Oh.

I don't remember that what-so-ever. Did I really say that? Did that really happen or is he lying? He probably is. I throw my phone across the room, probably breaking it in the process. Okay cancer. Kill me.

 

 

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