Soliloquy of One Girl

A very long stream of consciousness that came out of me a while back. Got some fairly interesting rhyming in there (most of them are halfway through lines) and all the sentences kind of start and end with each other. A strange kind of format that I'm aware may only really make sense in my own head, but it's nice to get it out.
In my mind it's a look at things like stress and identity in the modern day, with a bit of how media changes the way we look at ourselves thrown in there, too.


1. Soliloquy of One Girl

It would have been funny if it hadn't been real,

That I hurt so much I forgot how to feel.

One day I'll laugh at how you changed your mind - 

You were so blind,

In every kind of way.

You'll find a life in darkness

Can really shed light on others' faults,

But lock doors on yours with iron bolts.

And now it's Fourth of July;

Let's hear a cheer for independence

Rendered to redemption

For condemnation of those seeking exemption

Through false contriteness,

But now the fevered brightness

Is blinding the sightless to the ways of the world,

And I'm just one girl.


Keep stumbling over shadows of what might have been

That I left out in the hall,

I trip and fall

Then bounce back up again,

Saying I can win just like it's always been.

But now I'm scared I won't make it back,

My mask will crack,

I'll just be fragments of the broken ghost

Who had better luck than most

Out there. In here

It's all the same,

So when I look for someone to blame

Is it in relation or in separation?

Is it with experience or ignorance

That we come to realise and penalise for what we feel?

When consciousness comes in a stream,

Like a dream sequence

Making its way through the REM,

Dodging quick actions, avoiding fatal attractions,

Trying to override programming

Whilst always fitting in with the jamming

And the traffic and the rhythm of the world

And I'm just one girl.


It's the kind of film I'd go to see - 

Familiar but cliché and overused,

So no one feels abused

Watching what they know to be their life played on screen.

We've seen it all before,

Told from perfect smiles in flawless faces

By those who may be going places,

And insecurities on camera are made real

By the fake pictures. We regard 

It all as a façade

But we feel it all, it's hard.

So we hide our pretences,

Build up our fences,

Whilst they seek to find a way out -

Always hiding, seeking, always keeping track of the score

Lasting from years before

It was banned to feel elation.

My one salvation is the augmentation

Of all the irrelevances as I stay small.

With all I need.

Happy with my height in the scheme of the world,

I'm just one girl, just one girl.

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